|Reviews for First Kiss|
| Ryna chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
It was a good story, but I would suggest you get a beta reader. They could help you fix your grammar, spelling, and punctuation. However, someday you'll have to learn how to do it yourself. Also, try to pave yourself a bit. You rush too much. Also, try not to change perspectives too much. Pick one or put more distance between changes. You have a lot of room for improvement. Keep writing. Do not give up.
| mercury chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Cool! I love BB and Raven. You are a good writer. Thanks for writing this!
| Gone666 chapter 2 . 11/3/2012
Love the BB/Rav ness
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
So cute :-) love it
| triplt333 chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
If you're trying to improve your writing, write in Word first and transfer(cut, paste) or rewrite it to submit. Word will show you how to spell, punctuate, and capitalize correctly. You also have a tendency to forget to put words in, so read it through before you present(post) your writing.
| Rhett-TheBratPrince chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
You're not a bad writer.
I mean you posted a story that you wrote so that obviously means you have the guts to he a writer, what makes a BAD writer is someone who has all these ideas but never ATT all writes them. And although I'm saying you're not horrible, you could use some improvement.
Mainly watch out for grammar and spelling. You spell wrong and use incorrect spelling and it could change your whole story. And try not to get ahead of yourself because then it leaves holes in the plot. Otherwise a very good attempt and I'm looking forward to how far you come along.
Sincerely, Irrevocablely and Incandescently Yours,
| CamiDash chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
Well you dont suck but this isnt a very good piece of writing...
First, you should add more punctuation, periods and comas do exist you know...
Second, there are some sentences that seem to be unfinished, or very difficult to understand. You should think more about your readers, who dont know the way you think and what you know but dont write down.
Third, it allseems a little rushed, the idea is nice and very cute but it lack some plot, you should keep things a little less forced and more calm.
Fourth, there are some mistakes like "Little bit of RobStar in THEIR" i believe you meant "in there" their means that it belongs to them like "their wedding". I am not absolutelutely sure about this as english is my second language, the same happens with my second advice, cause it may be difficult to me to understand somethings (although im very proud of my english, nobody is perfect).
I hope i could help improve your writing, as you seem to have good ideas just need more practising. I suggest that before you publish something you read it again, and maybe you could get a beta.
| numbuh13m chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
Lol, cute, luved it, I think ur a gud writer, who eva said u werent prob had there head up the azz, just saying
| Harmonious Wolf chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
Not bad. Not the best I've read, but better than some. Just keep at it and you'll improve in time (trust me, I've been there). A few misspelled words, erisponsible for example should be spelled irresponsible, but that's okay. You're only human, and humans are flawed creatures.
Keep at it ;)
| bs13 chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
So cute! I admit, in the series they should've put them together.
| thekillerrox123 chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
WHEEEEEEEW! THAT WAS AWESOME!