|Reviews for Absolution|
| Caprichoso chapter 8 . 3/14
"The zipper growled."
That's it, right there. One of the biggest things that I find so incredible about your writing can be condensed into those three words. You take something we all know, distill its essence, and communicate it in a way that is both unexpected and precise.
Everything else is, of course, wonderful, and I'm totally along for the ride, but I just wanted to draw attention to that phrase.
| Nemrut chapter 8 . 12/5/2013
You really have a knack for conveying emotion and atmosphere like that, quite liked this chapter, especially the build-up to and execution of the line "You 'are' a titan, Roy."
Great stuff, loved it. Hope you are well.
On an unrelated note, except the connection to super heroes, have you read the web serial "Worm" by Wildbow? Not a fanfic or anything but given the series you wrote, it should be right up your alley.
| unwrittenaria chapter 8 . 12/5/2013
A nice change of pace. A smart way of switching stuff up to a completely different group of titans - and actually keeping the emotional tension high (which after the last set of chapters was pretty darn high to begin with)
Very interesting material - and it's nice to see the aftermath and continued effects of the Titans standing against the League. Although honestly with the teleporter pads in the League watchtower visiting can't be that hard can it?
(well if the villains ever lined up their schedules so the league and Titans East got time off at the same time)
Not sure if you're going to continue this and go around touching base with some other groups (the streetbeat, villains etc.)
I'll put in a vote for some justice league scenes if there's a good reason for it just to see the flip side to this installment? From the chapter it seems things have settled down a fair bit for the JL and it'll be interesting to see if this lull lets them check in on (either of) the group of kids that stonewalled them.
As always it's a joy to see a new chapter on this (although seriously where's the new tPoT chapter? I kid, you are not our bitch etc.) and looking forward to whatever the heck comes next.
| Quiet reader chapter 7 . 11/3/2013
To those looking for a recommendation, suffice it to say that this story is excellent and you would do yourself a disservice to not read it yourself. It is an exciting, involving, emotional roller coaster with plenty for everyone. Read it now, what are you waiting for?
The rest of this message is directed at the author and can be disregarded by readers.
Hi, so I just finished reading all 3 of these stories. A friend recommended you and while I'm not a big fan of fanfiction (half the stories are never finished, that really annoys me), I really like your writing style and this story in particular. I'm a writer of short stories (a few published but nothing big or that impressive), so I know how nice feedback can be. I'll do my best to give you some constructive criticism and praise but be forewarned that I'm used to giving advice face to face. My writings might not be as useful without your ability to ask followup questions. I wish I knew a way to get a chatbox or something for feedback, but I don't think this website has those facilities. Here we go.
I would say that I noticed two of your strengths in this read through. The first is characters and your grasp of voice. In almost any scene I can pick out a characters spoken dialogue and recognize pretty quickly who said that without a label or context. You have a good sense of how your characters speak and react. You don't use them to speak the plot but let them react organically to the events around them. Also, your characters are very interesting in general. I know that these are mostly unoriginal characters drawn from comic book lore, but they feel fresh and original compared to there comic counterparts and I prefer your rendition of them. Personally my favorites were unquestionably Bushido, Gar, Raven, and Ravager (Rose not its original incarnation). They have such powerful personalities that they seem to drive every seen they occupy. Gar's complete lack of self-control (emotionally and verbally) mixed with his unflappable earnestness are a really endearing combination. If you were to put any one of these heroes/alleged-murderers/crazy-people with any other character I could already see how they would react. That kind of characterization moves stories forward and it the number one reason I'l be following you in the coming months (hopefully not years, I can be impatient).
The second greatest strength I noticed is your ability to ignore details and cut the chaff. This one is not as easily visible, but if it weren't there I wold notice instantly. Every scene you write (with some exceptions no one is perfect except George RR Martin, I can have biases don't judge), has a purpose and a flow. Your action scenes are quick and choppy (I do notice some problems in your group fights but I'll get to that later), and our dialogue keeps us gripped by being focused and have a good helping of nuance. You also make good use of secrets and dramatic irony. You don't give me five sentences describing Jane Doe so we can picture her exactly how you want us to see her. You give us clear characteristics and let our imaginations do the rest. This is especially important given how adventurous and fast paced you keep your story.
My criticisms are more mild and specific. The first I noticed is that your group fight scenes seem to lack the rhythm of your solo affairs. It mostly character A pounds on B until C gets B and D gets C and so on until everyone gets worn down and the bad guys flee or detonate a bomb. Your smaller fights like raven/gar vs terra, bushido vs cyborg have a better flow with one side showing clear dominance and having obvious reversals in fortune. Your group fights vs single opponents are also strong in the same way. It always makes me happy to see you spit up the teams into smaller groups like you did with one of the early tyrant fights. I think it would be interesting to see you narrate a group fight from only one perspective. For example: we see through the eyes of Ravager in this big free for all. She doesn't know how the fight is going with gar until he sails over her head. I think the fracturing of view points made it harder for me as a person to appreciate a fight. I don't feel we need to know every detail of the battle, just who one who lost and how our one hero saw the whole thing. Just an idea to think about.
I can't think up more criticism right now, sorry about that it's late where I am. So here are some random thought to finish.
I also like how you torture your heroes and villains. Putting them through the grinder is a great way to kill two birds with one stone. You give them great character arcs and our sympathy besides.
Killing of Bushido and Raven was profoundly cruel. You almost, maybe, kind-of made me teary eyed both times. It was good writing, but I seriously think that some of your titans are over due for a pick me up. Ok I really just mean Gar. That guy just keeps getting s**t on by the world over and over again. That's probably a large part of why I like him so much. So it would be extra cruel if you gave him happiness again before ripping it away. Is this me trying to selfishly influence the story? Yes it is. It hurts to read about that guy these days.
I like Terra, not as a person of course. She has a lot of potential for a really interesting story arc. I hope your going to start building her up, and start showing the audience she has some uncorrupted good inside her waiting to break free. That desire to redefine yourself and fix your past mistakes has some great emotional resonance with a lot of people, me included. But just so you know, she could easily cross the moral event horizon if you push to far. So I would recommend keeping a light hand on her moral compass if you want us to root for her again. I'm not trying to tell you how to write your own story, just a suggestion from someone else's viewpoint.
I don't know what else to say except you have real talent for adventure/fantasy writing and I hope you pursue getting some work published or continue writing fanfiction on the side. I write horror myself and couldn't imagine juggling this much narrative. You do it well. Keep up the good work.
Also, please finish this story. I know comics have this thing where they never end, but there is no one that I know of to pick up your mantle if your grow bored with this project. This story really deserves some resolution when all this is said and done. Also, I really hope it's a happy ending. These heroes deserve so much better than they get.
| Trainer Rex chapter 7 . 10/19/2013
Glad to see that Terra is back, though I can't help but wonder for how long. I doubt she and Gar will ever make up, but hopefully she manages to earn back the group's trust. The Titans are really on their last legs at the moment.
Robin mistaking Mallah for Grodd was rather amusing. I imagine Mallah is disappointed to learn that he's not the only gorilla based supervillain. Maybe Cyborg will return and mistake him for Ultra Humanite in the future.
In any case, I assume that Madame Rouge will be the next to show up. She was rather formidable in the show (until the penultimate episode, anyway), so I'm eager to see how you handle her.
| Antsloth chapter 7 . 9/16/2013
wow.. i just teared up at the ending.. starfire and robin are one of my favorite couples, it was heartbreaking to see them separated over the past few arcs and unable to connect with each other time and time again. this was so sweet and very much perfect!
it's a relief to see bushido again too. i was a little shocked to see him go so abruptly. i'm looking forward to the rose/bushido interactions. should be pretty hilarious and interesting, they're perfect foils for each other. i also like the addition of wendy and marvin.. at first they felt a little over-the-top but since victor, allie, raven, and bushido are gone, they're helping recreate a home-y feel to the tower.
great, great chapter as always. this i also have to ask, do you write professionally? your work is top notch, better than the last few books i picked up at the library.
p. s. i hope it's not too forward/spoiler-y of me to ask - raven was my favorite character in the teen titans comics and she's had her arc, but do you have any plans to bring her back? i'm holding out a smidgen of hope for her return. victor and allie too!
| Guest chapter 7 . 9/14/2013
Awesome as ever man.
| Blank402 chapter 7 . 9/13/2013
Great chapter, as always. One thing that stood out to me was just how afraid of Immortus Terra was. Immortus has certainly shown himself to be pretty badass, but Terra was a Titan and Slade's apprentice. She's pretty badass herself. I don't know, it just seems to be to me that there's something else Terra isn't telling Robin.
Can't wait to for the next update. Really interested to see how Rose deals with Ghost Bushido.
| Star1412 chapter 7 . 9/12/2013
This chapter was amazing. I'm really excited to see what happens with this!
| Caprichoso chapter 7 . 9/12/2013
You know, you're one of the few authors whose alerts will pull me away from anything I'm doing. As always, you have a masterful command of your characters, and the moments that echo the show make this universe you've created even more striking.
Of all the characters, I'd say the most intriguing at the moment is Ravager. With Gar not laughing anymore, she's much-needed comic relief, and your grasp of her caustic wit is wonderful. I'm also seeing an interesting development of an idea I noticed when Rose first had a precog moment: it had come just after Bushido's gift of his sword. Perhaps in your world, the Ancestors are the source of Ravager's precognition? It would also explain Bushido's uncanny knack for combat on a superhuman level... and part of why he's talking to Rose.
As always, amazing work. I'll be waiting somewhat impatiently for the next installment.
| Nemrut chapter 7 . 9/12/2013
Think I have to reread the previous chapters since I only recently found out about the Spoiler character and forgot that she had appeared here recently. As I am not that well-read in the DC verse, I assume she is Stephanie Brown, right? Would that mean that we will get to see Cassandra Cain as Batgirl or Black Bat at some point, because I would really like to see her, especially now that you have included Spoiler. Those two have really piqued my interest. (You may or may not write them as if they were in a relationship P)
As to the chapter itself, it was really intense and seeing Bushido's soul, which is what I guess it was, was a rather mean cliffhanger. Seeing the Titans fight and posture their way out of this was very fun to read. But really, the most fascinating thing by now is how the Titan's are going to be structured and who is going to be a Titan from now on. The return of the absent members is, of course, part of that as well. Just think there will be more additions to the team before that happens, two of which, I hope, might me Batgirl and Spoiler, but then again, could be virtually anyone else.
Thank you for sharing this and I hope you are well.
| Blue Man chapter 6 . 8/19/2013
Arrgh why must you leave every chapter ending in a cliffhanger? It's a great way to structure your stories but it makes the wait between chapters execrable. I really liked this chapter (as always), you keep things moving at a quick pace and do an excellent job of balancing tension and humor. I really like how you introduced the two new metahumans. I like how you commit so fully to Rose's character. Her calling Bushido a bitch is so disrespectful that it makes me angry, but since having a biting wit and no respect are Ravager's thing it makes her seem more real (and gives her tons of room to grow). I also liked how you kept BB's part of the plan (and the plan altogether) ambiguous to build the tension.
I also thought the one way conversations between Star and BB feel really organic and are just well structured in general. "Sometimes I just wonder if two people who are such opposites may ever truly be together." Really natural way to show what a connection these two share. But I wonder if BB's silence is more than just introspection. Could he be angry at Star? I sensed some tension there but it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. In fact, these types of interactions are what really get me hooked on your stories. You never give away your characters completely, there's always that shed (sometimes more than a shred, Terra anyone?) of mystery about them. You just leave me with the feeling that theses characters have this deep reserve complexity that I never see.
In any case, well done. Maybe I'll be able to give you some criticism when I re-read this later, but I was too lost in the story to notice anything I could call a flaw (then again I rarely can).
The only thing that still bugs me is that we never got a proper send-off for Bushido. I think it 's fairly obvious that his suicide was one of the conditions his ancestors in the blade set for his redemption. But since he bit the bullet off screen his death doesn't feel real to me yet. I really hope you'll give him a chance to speak from the blade or arrange some kind of dialogue (maybe a hidden letter?) between him and the titans before it all comes to a close.
P.S. I hope we get to see more of this speedster girl. I don't know why, but I find her intensely interesting.
P.S.S. I hope the beginning of the fall semester doesn't tie you down in too much schoolwork to prevent regular updates. I'm beginning classes tomorrow so I understand if it does, but here's hoping!
| Blank402 chapter 6 . 8/9/2013
Finally! It's been too long. Great chapter. I get the feeling Immortus knows exactly what's going on. He doesn't seem like the type of guy whose often caught by surprise. Then again maybe Robin counted on that. Who knows, I can't wait to read the next chapter and find out.
| unwrittenaria chapter 6 . 8/5/2013
YAHHH You're back!
I don't know if it's sad or good but I do check once every 2 weeks or so to see if this updated and huzzah here it is!
Some interesting dynamics going on with Ravager, her line about Slade seems telling enough that personal grievances with Slade's handpicked students are going to come out eventually, and probably a the worst time.
Beast Boy is pretty much catatonic with stymied rage it seems, and Starfire, poor Starfire. You'd think Robin would pick up on it, or failing that at least learn the lesson of being able to trust her one way or another.
Immortus speaks, it's going to be fun to see exactly what kind of threats he has, and whether he's got similar plans for the teen titans and other meta humans. Not something we haven't seen before, using metas as power sources, but always fun to do.
Finally Spoiler, wondering just how much of it matches up with the comic history and what you've gone and adapted for yourself. Her history with Robin in the comics being what it is, and this weird bickering with Ravager, I gotta wonder what's going to happen. Also just as a side note, you ever think of having Cass show up just as a cameo or brief chapter thing?
Sorry there's not much constructive criticism going on here. Most of the time when i get to do a review I'm too pleased to get a new chapter to be critical.
| Windup chapter 6 . 8/5/2013
OMG finally! Love this story, love everything you do, keep it up.