|Reviews for The Crystal Origins|
| helen the 2nd chapter 3 . 12/6/2012
I'm sorry I meant to review earler but school got in the way. But now away from excuses and on to review. Firstly I'm happy to see you made the first chapter longer. It explains more which is good. Now as for explaining, the second chapter was a little confusing, I just thought it was kind of rushed and not very clear. For example for a while I thought Madja was Scarlet's sister. Finally make sure no characters disappear. I'm talking about Ripcord, he was in Coyote with the others but by the end he disappeared. He wasn't knocked out or running off after someone.
All in all its nice to see you back and this story is coming along nicely.
Good bye and good luck,
Helen the 2nd
| Dessi16 chapter 3 . 11/22/2012
You really know how to keep someone on the edge of their seat dont ya? I love it cant wait for your next update.
| Dessi16 chapter 2 . 11/22/2012
Yay! You updated! I love it! I am so glad I went back and read the first chapter to because it seems to have been updated as well. Cant wait for next update.
| ashakid1 chapter 1 . 10/24/2012
it was great i would love a new chap.
| Dessi16 chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Dude its good so far I hope to read more soon. ;)
| jadeoftheworld chapter 1 . 8/31/2012
This story's looking good so far, can't wait to read some more. The Snake Eyes/Tunnel Rat pairing has always caught my fancy, and I'm really liking the fact that you've added in a 'renegade version' of Spirit. Hope you get to the next chapter soon!
| helen the 2nd chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
Looks like the beginning of another good story.
Just a few points of criticism, one, establish your time line more. At the beginning because you mention mention Scarlet's father so is it safe to assume that this happening after the series' end? Your opening could be a little clearer is all. And capitilize proper nouns like Sioux.
But like I said its a good start keep it up.