|Reviews for Shades of Gray|
| rebfan90 chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
Good to hear from you! I think the story is awesome, keep it up!
| Mission chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
One of the problems I often see with stories is that when there are a bunch of characters involved in a scene, some of them are pushed to one side. You managed to include them all fairly well, but it made the flow of the battle kinda shakey. I'm also kinda curious why there weren't many grenades used in the battle by either side; those were a big part of the game.
The only thing I'm really dissapointed about it how you didn't really say anything about Juhani; how was she subdued, what was her condition when rescued, why couldn't she use her jedi powers during her captivity? Questions you may want to consider answering in the future.
Luckily in the future, you won't have to have such big groups all together, so you can more easily concentrate on the scene and few characters in them.
You've got good quality work, it's the timeline of producing it that I believe is killing it. Real life comes first though, so I'd recommend storing up a chapter or two or something, then release them in within a few days; get the readers excited again.
It's up to you though. Good luck in the future, both college and this story.
| GreyJedi1 chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
Don't worry real life can get in the way. Like how you handle Mission's Brother and poor Bastila trying to see what right or wrong.
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
What did happen to Sarna? The entire chapter was centered around a mystery. Other than that it was good.
| Guest chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
I enjoy this story, but popular culture has given me less than pleasant ideas from the title
| shadoefax chapter 1 . 10/13/2013
urgh, sorry, great idea, i mean, i FRIKIN LOVE THE IDEA!
but...no drama, no climax, it's like you typed this in your sleep, no description, no quality, no background info, it's just: boom! i wake up, i do this, then that. oh, guess what, i'm actually revan and i'm all calm about having the jedi trying to wipe my mind. hey, why don't i just help these republics?; my ENEMIES. the first chapter is always meant to be the most engaging. maybe not explanatory, but in this case, yes
sorry, i suggest you edit these chapters in free time to make this story better, y'know. this seems more like a script, a storyboard, in wait for someone else to refine it and add detail
| Above the Winter Moonlight chapter 27 . 10/13/2013
Very good story. I loved it. Update soon.
| Austin .s chapter 26 . 9/20/2013
I have to say this is one of the best stories I've read on here and I read ALOT! So good job and keep it up I'm excited to see what happens
| god of all chapter 26 . 9/16/2013
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
| Apocalyptian Scribe chapter 1 . 9/13/2013
No build up, just "DERP WOW, I guess I'm Revan?"
| masterdude94 chapter 26 . 8/31/2013
Good chapter! Carth did a no no and probably got the girl sent to the dlave market.
So Meetra can force persuade better than Revan? Seems odd is all.
Who can blame Revan for flirting with Bastila? Its probably the most fun thing to do in Kotor! And hes right, it really isnt hard.
Thanks for the chapter!
| SaintOfAllSaints01 chapter 26 . 8/31/2013
Glad you are back. This story has been interesting to follow. I see Revan is getting close to find Sasha now. That little girl never really did had a kids type of voice. It was like a Twi'lek female. I like how this part has gone so far. I'm hoping for more soon.
| Mission chapter 26 . 8/31/2013
Okay, the suggestion involves the characters Mission, T3, Revan, and Meetra. The idea is for the group to create a virus to insert into the systems of enemy agents, that not only compromises their security, but steals their data and drains their money accounts. The money is the key, as without funding from the Republic as they're fugitives, this will help save you from a big plot hole or more work doing extra side quests.
Places this could be used: Czerka computer in Kashyyyk, Sith computer in Korriban, Republic and Sith Bases on Manaan, Leviathan mainframe computers.
Another twist is that the data stolen could also point out stored supplies and gear that the crew can pilfer.
Hope this idea helps; you've put a lot of work into this story, and I hope to see it finished someday. Goodluck my friend
| Mission chapter 26 . 8/31/2013
Real life comes first, and understandable fact, and a necessary evil in some cases as well.
For the party, I would say getting one of the uptight crew members totally wasted and doing things they'd either never do sober, or things they'd yet to work up the courage for. I could also see some after party antics, like the old classic 'waking up in bed with someone naked.'
I do have a plot suggestion, but as I have no account, I can't PM it to you, so I'll leave it in another review that you can just copy and paste it from, and then not approve for public viewing if you like it.
For Kashyyyk, it would be funny if the Czerka officers took a dump in Jolee's garden, and then in exchange for helping Revan and co get through the field, Jolee wants them to get creative revenge against the officers.
For Korriban, I'd suggest having Revan and Juhani enter the Sith academy as students. While Juhani struggles in facing the temptation of the darkside of the force, as well as complications with Dak Vesser's ecouragement to embrace it, Revan discover's the Tomb of Ludo Kressh at the back of the Shyrack Cave, and works to recover his full potential; maybe even a brief bout with the Sith Emperor himself given the tomb's nature. In the end, Juhani gets the star map, and everyone gets the Sith Academy shut down.
A twist for the Leviathan level would be to have Dustil on board, working for Saul.
Just a few ideas, hope they help inspire you for the time you do have to write. Looking forard to the next chapter
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 26 . 8/31/2013
Nice chapter, the file information will be fun. What happened to the Sith girl as well.
For the party, lots of alcohol.
Korriban has the most potential, Lehon should be completely unpredictable. Also there should be more in the ancient computer than there was in the game.