Reviews for Survival
lalalaloveme chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
very good story. just a few suggestions for when you're writing. when you write dialogue space it out. every time you start a new dialogue you're supposed to start a new paragraph:

"I'm standing in front of a great white mirror, in a great white dress. An elderly lady enters the room, dressed in a very elegant skirt and coat. She asks me if I need anything.

'No, thank you, Mrs. Donowitz' I reply and she gives me a hug, I'm starting to get really emotional.

'Is something wrong, my dear?'

'Oh, no I'm only remembering the war, and how I've almost lost Donny then.'"

It makes it easier to read and understand.
jennifer-1490 chapter 1 . 9/7/2012
I thought your story concept sounded intresting. But your story format makes your story unreadable. You have your story set up such that it is one long paragraph. For me as a reader this is a huge turn off because it takes a lot of effort to read. You took all this time to write this story and had the courage to post to the site, so go back spend the 30 mins. And reformat this story into paragraphs.