Reviews for Reflections
writeallnight chapter 1 . 5/7/2014
I adore this. I'm new to NCIS LA and I love the whole Kensi/Deeks relationship. You did a fantastic job writing through Kensi's eyes. A very nice tag to the episode!
EmmyLou74 chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
That made me wanna watch that episode all over again... I think I'll do just that!
Guest chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
Love it, I knew there was something there even early on.
Reader1976 chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Amazing! Great job on Deeks's feelings on joining the team and understanding that he has to earn his place. Wonderful that Kensi was able to figure out why he was so quiet and introspective. Loved that Kensi attempted to make it right and recognized that she did care. And I was quite happy that Deeks responded instead of going home to lick his wounds. Lovely, just lovely! A favorite to be re-read over and over again. Bravo! :)
JperW chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
Nice to read a story about an older episode again. :) Good story, although bit long with the long paragraphs of uninterrupted inner thinkings sometimes.
TheCutie chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
Really beautiful. I love the bittersweetness :)
anonkp chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
Oh, poor, sad Deeks. You really did a lovely job of capturing the dynamics of the team early on in Deeks' time with them. And I liked your perspective on how Kensi felt when he disappeared while undercover. Good story!
Jessica237 chapter 1 . 8/15/2012

This is gorgeous, I mean, do you really have any idea just HOW gorgeous it is?! Because it really, truly is. You are awesome and like I told you yesterday/today/all the days/whenever, I so wish that awesome and that motivation were contagious!

Borderline is one of my favorite episodes for so many reasons, and I so remember that conversation you and I had a while back about it. And let me tell you, I am SO glad you wrote this piece because I feel like it was absolutely something that needed to be put out there in light of nobody actually seeming to care whether or not Deeks was okay, because that was just heartbreaking, no?

I love this from the very first paragraph. Seriously. That is SO Kensi, no doubt feeling quite satisfied after her gym session, and you just know that nickname she thought up for Deeks, she thinks it's the most incredibly clever thing she's ever come up with, heh. I mean, I just see her, all giddy and just, well, excited to mock him, lol. I love it. And I love the little jab at his easygoing manner, that Kensi doesn't think he writes reports, but sneaks hers right off of her laptop! Maybe he's known her password a lot longer than we think. ;)

The scene you paint in the beginning is just gorgeous. I mean, it's a pensive Deeks, how could it be anything BUT gorgeous? But you really do a great job of setting the whole scene there and his mood, especially when he doesn't acknowledge her presence when she does everything to disturb him short of throwing things at his head.

I love this look into her thoughts so early in their partnership. Back before the conversation about trust in Bounty, back when we know they don't really trust each other. And how could they, having been just thrust together as they were? You do a lovely job getting into Kensi's head, having her admit that yes, Deeks IS a good cop, and that she's having to admit somewhere deep inside herself that one day this partnership could actually work; that it could actually be something good. And I just LOVE how bothered she is by Deeks ignoring her. That entire paragraph is just spot-on - he's always right there in her space, in front of her, everywhere. For that not to be the case, well, I'd definitely expect it to set off alarm bells in Kensi's head.

And of course she wants him to tease her, eh? Hehe. ;)

The playful banter about the Oreos is adorable! You do a great job with their banter. And just as Deeks does in the show, you push it just far enough with the "jewelry kind of girlfriend" line. Perfect. Love that.

And then Callen and Sam come in…and damn, if that scene isn't just a complete slap in the face! They don't even consider him part of their team and it's just heartbreaking. I think the worst part of that (and by that I mean the part that makes me want to hug him the most!) is the look of shock on his face when Callen DOES make a move to include him. As if it's not something he ever expected.

"Deeks isn't one to push her away, that much she knows. She is the one drawing boundaries meant to fence him out. She is the one telling him time and time again to stay behind the line, not even daring to come closer and try stepping on it. She doesn't have to say it, really; he knows it implicitly. Still, he loves pushing her buttons, but, somehow, he always stops right before she snaps. Before he goes too far, before he reaches that dark corner inside her, the one the tough façade veils and conceals, the one that really hurts when hit right in the core.

She wonders what she did for him to be like that tonight. Be like her."

It's okay when she does it to him, but not when he does it to her, heh. I love what isn't implicitly said there - that she KNOWS why she is that way, it's taken a lot of pain and regret and heartache to harden her like that. I think that, knowing all she's gone through, it hurts her to think that he could have even some of the same demons in his past. Oh, if she only knew. These two, they're just...they're them. They're supposed to be together.

His reply to her when she asks him if he has to go back to LAPD anytime soon is just heartbreaking too. As if he knows she doesn't want him there. As if he knows NO ONE wants him there. Poor guy has probably never really been wanted by anyone in his life, and of course I mean REALLY wanted. And there's only so much he can hide behind that shield of humor before even that starts to break down. I feel like this episode knocked that home for him a bit, and seriously, you did a beautiful job expanding on that. It's angsty and heartbreaking and just aww.

Though, I think my favorite line overall in this piece is Kensi's quiet "I don't want you gone." And Deeks still not believing her…seriously, I'm not even lying when I say you got to me with this. You hit everything, every little bit of hidden insecurity that I see in Deeks, and you hit it right on the head. Kudos. Mad props. ;)

And I love Kensi's realization that, not only is he part of their broken family, but that he means something to her, that he means A LOT to her. That she can't imagine not having him there anymore, even though she's tried to keep her distance.

"They're mean. She is mean, and only now does it hit Kensi with a sudden awareness, a sick feeling of being the one to hurt someone who never, ever did a thing to her."
That's just … aw. But not nearly as much aw as this -
Pushing back her chair with an abruptness that doesn't go unnoticed by either of them, she gets up quickly and crosses the small distance between their desks, stopping his hand on his bag by circling her slender fingers around his wrist. "Deeks," she lets out, her voice just barely above a whisper, that he has to listen carefully to hear her. "Deeks, you know it's all jokes, right ? Tell me you do. Please."
Adore that entire segment, from her grasping his wrist all the way to the soft plea at the end. It just tugs at my heart that she's hurting so badly over how she's hurt him, it's angsty and I love it.
And it's sweet, yet heartbreaking at how okay he is with it. That he knows her so well, that he understands why she doesn't necessarily want to let him in, why they don't want him to get close, why they don't want to get attached to him, why they're wary. He understands that…but it doesn't make it hurt any less, which puts him in a really difficult position to be in. Poor guy.
"I won't let you down, Kensi. I'm not asking you to believe me now, but – just put that in a corner of your mind, and someday, I promise I'll prove it to you and you'll know you can trust me."
Favorite Deeks line. :) You know he means it. And you know he means it by watching his face, listening to him in Deliverance after Kensi is taken by the Russians, when he thinks he's let her down. His conviction, his loyalty to her, it's stunning, right from the beginning. (And an aside, I do love how we've noticed it change over the episodes and through fic, from him desperately needing to prove himself, to him desperately wanting to make sure she's always safe.)

And I love yet simultaneously hate Deeks putting a stop to confession time, heh. Even then, he knows what the two of them are ready to face and what they aren't. And I do love that you mention that it will be hard, that what happened tonight doesn't just magically change things. It will definitely be a process for them, and I love that you don't sugarcoat that.

Your ending is just perfect. It's fun, it's sweet, it's THEM. Honestly, no more perfect picture than the two of them with her love (junk food), enjoying his love (the beach) together. Fantastic.

This is the kind of partnership/friendship building piece we were missing between some of the earlier episodes, and I'm so, SO glad you decided to revisit this (hint: you should revisit some more one-shot ideas! :D ). You really did a brilliant job with this and I could honestly see the whole thing playing out as I read (multiple times ;) ). Just all over wonderful. Take a bow, you deserve it. :D
Fictionista 48 chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
Aww, this was sweet and sad, and so full of worry and doubt and what-ifs. I love how she realized what her indifference and the guys' jabs at Deeks had done to him. That she reaized she needed to fix it and make a new sort of start with him. And, i love that he let her. Lovely ending. Great work!
pallysdeeks chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
this was sooooooooooooooooo goooood !
Kadiedid chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
Great job! It always bothered me that they didn't ask about him when it was over. Kind of mean. You did a good job of addressing that and his feelings at the time. (PS, please don't retire!)
MissAlesig chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
I really love this little incursion of yours into the early stages of their relationship/partnership. Borderline is one of my favorite season 2 episodes, so it was nice to come back to that, to the foundations of their partnership/friendship.
You always find a way to make me think about things I never though before, when I was watching the show. You did it again with this fresh one-shot.
Poor Deeks, I really felt for him. Never thought that he was this frustrated or hurt, or that he felt like the temp that no one really wanted. It was nice to see a serious side of him, when he's not using humor as a defense mechanism. I like all Deeks layers, and you're very good in portraying them all with your writing.
And it was nice to see Kensi really bothered about this, his silence, I guess for someone like Deeks, silence it's the worst thing you can give to someone. Specially to Kensi, her partner. Because she obviously cares, since the beginning. Like you said "Already. So fast, so quickly. So easily." :) And she wanted to prove him that, that he was not a temp, that he wasn't just a replacement and that she cared. Even if that isn't the easiest thing for her, to let others see behind her walls, to show her emotions and feelings. I think that's a work in process this early in their relationship, but you were very good at showing just that.
I loved the last scene (sentence), or to imagine the last scene, of them sitting in a blanket, on the beach, eating pizza and twinkies, at sunset. Exchanging stories and experiences, building up their trust and friendship. It seems really romantic and poetic to me. I'm gonna quote Casablanca's movie, because it seems appropriate "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship" ;)
scalia chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
This was a fresh breeze : ) The guys and Kensi are really mean to Deeks most of the times and you really hit the spot with this chapter but even with Kensi realising how bad they were to him, and Im surprised that, being a NCIS agent, kensi missed or left out, the story he told about how his father shot him and later on, in personal, how she just let go the story of the man he shot when he was 11 years old. I hope you can continue with this story, there are too many things left unsaid from this POV. Love your work, hope " dark place " is still in motion and now, I am also eager to read more of this fic. Keep up the awesome work : )
Somnium1 chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
You got the tome of this so right for so early in their relationship, just enough comfort and hurt, all without them rushing into one another's arms, really liked it.
SunnyCitrus10 chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
This was lovely. I liked your in depth exploration into the early part of their partnership. There was a tentative bond already forming and your perspective was interesting.
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