Reviews for Memoirs
bluekrishna chapter 11 . 8/13/2013
nice action sequence. very suspenseful. i could just hear shep going, 'shitshitshitshit' in his head. lol. anyway, great chapter. squeaky clean and it just flew by. i swear, with so many awesome writers joining review tag, it's getting harder and harder to find fault in the proffered work. good job!
Inkess chapter 13 . 8/10/2013
Oh. Dear. God. You are a genius. Really. You are. I'm crying and laughing at the same time, and the final line was just brilliant. Too many good moments in this chapter to name them. Too many. Liara grieving, but not going overboard, the first hint of shadowbroker-iness in her manner, the declaration of love... Pure joy to read. Shep's amazing, too.

*slow applause*
Joryn282 chapter 3 . 8/9/2013
This adds some depth to the mission on Therum, seeing it in the eyes of the damsel in distress. Well done on referring to how she probably would look and feel after being stuck in that bubble for so long. Not pleasant for her or the people around her. Well done so far. I look forward to more.
Church Shepard chapter 7 . 8/8/2013
Woohoo number 400

Good job here, every problem I've had in the last chapters are not present here. I can see your strength is in more calm situations, where there is strong emotion but less action. I envy you for that. This is a fantastic job you've done with my favorite asari. Seeing what else she could have done during ME 1 aside from what's in the game is most refreshing. I look forward to seeing more.

Church "Caboose" Shepard
Church Shepard chapter 6 . 8/8/2013
Hmm, for starters well done. Action was decently paced and again you did well on the characters and their actions. Like that you're going off in a different direction than the game's main story. That way it's not just a Liara pov of the game's story.

I can only think of one complaint. The environment and setting was a little lacking. I didn't really understand how the fight scene worked out, mainly because I couldn't figure out where Shep and co were in relation to the enemy. Maybe describing the base's layout would make it a bit better.
Still a good chapter though.

Church "Caboose" Shepard
Church Shepard chapter 5 . 8/7/2013
Well not much happened here. Writing seemed to lack a little bit here compared to the earlier chapters, but I'll blame that on the amount of dialogue. Still very good though, and your characters are all very well done. I love how you made Liara here. She still acts like she would in the game, but you've given her something that makes her unique to your story. I can't tell what it is though. Looking forward to more

Church "Caboose" Shepard
Lady Amiee chapter 6 . 8/7/2013
Ah Sharrukin, damn your perfect prose. I never find a single thing wrong with your work and end up devouring your chapters like a dying woman after life. This is wonderfully done, Liara's voice is so strong yet not overwhelming. Your shep is great, your action amazing. I am so envious I wanna cry. Your story fascinates me, little details make me curious, trying to link them, trying to guess what's happening next even though I never get it right. I love that you keep me guessing. Great chapter, perfect in my eyes. Love it.
Church Shepard chapter 4 . 8/6/2013
Now this is damn good story telling. Really like how you had an alien experience human food, very relatable and believable. Though I happen to be a fan of grits. Most of this chapter was about experiencing new alien culture and food, and every part was terrifically well done. I've not a single complaint about this. Well done.

Church "Caboose" Shepard
Mr.Vaz chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
Nice way of framing your Shep's backstory, while including the post-ending "story" bit in a way that I haven't seen before. All of it (especially the "Goddess, he would have hated that" shift) was executed well, and piqued my interest.

Only one minor gripe: I don't agree with the use of the word "conjure" in that sense. ("his name has become one to conjure with") When I saw that line, it made me think of people trying to produce something by magic. "Invoke" would probably work better here - "his name has been invoked time and again" or something similar. Still ties into the "godhood" idea afterward and conveys the right meaning.
theherocomplex chapter 10 . 8/2/2013
Oh, goodness. Noveria is my favorite mission in ME1, and it's always a treat to see it dealt with in fanfics. Gianna is nicely-defined for showing up briefly, and I always like seeing Anoleis getting caught. I really enjoyed the confrontation with Stirling and Company.

I feel like Liara is still keeping us at a distance. Part of that is understandable; she collects data, analyzes it, and draws conclusions. I think she would start reacting more intuitively to her crewmates by this time, however - or, she would be more open about her emotional reactions. We get a glimpse of it when she's confronting Benezia's betrayal, but this distance feels artificial. Is Liara trying to hide the depth of her feelings in order to present as objective a retelling as possible?

It's not a problem - in a strange way, it's a compliment. I like this Liara so much that I want to experience more of her. I'll be patient, and take what she gives me, even if it's just these little glimpses.

Spiders-spiders-spiders! Tali! You are efficient and yet totally adorable when terrified! I'm going to love watching her grow. Your Shepard is definitely the leader I would want when giant mutant spiders started to attack.

I'm dreading the confrontation with Benezia; I don't bring Liara along on my playthroughs if she's already on the Normandy because I want to spare her the agony. It won't be pretty, but I'm sure you won't spare Liara - nor will she spare herself.

You're meticulous in constructing the events from Liara's perspective. Another excellent chapter.
Full-Paragon chapter 16 . 7/31/2013
That was a really awesome change from canon. I'm glad Liara got this quest and you added a secret test of character to it. Afterall, it's pretty obvious that if Shepard can solve it in five minutes, Sha'ira could do so in no more than 10.
Inkess chapter 12 . 7/31/2013
Ah yes, the Little Wing line. The first tear jerker of Mass Effect. *sniffle* You managed to get me misty-eyed again, so congratulations on that!

Poor Liara, having to go through that. I know she'll act so strong and stuff, but she has to suffer. Worse, she's beginning to realize her feelings for Shep. More emotional distress for her :(

I absolutely love the little details you weave in from the games. Tali's shield being the strongest, the "flash-step" (I assume that's the vanguard/banshee move from later games?), and Tali's silence during the confrontation with Benezia. Made me chuckle all the time, and that made the onion ninja moment in the end even worse somehow!

Great work, as usual.
Full-Paragon chapter 15 . 7/30/2013
Excellent handling of Wrex's mission. The Cat Fight was pretty cool too. The best part for me though is how you continue to handle galactic politics. It's something we often look over because gameplay doesn't necessitate it, but Shep would have to be careful hauling in a turian criminal. Do it wrong, and all the vultures start screaming "hate crime."
Full-Paragon chapter 14 . 7/30/2013
Gee, you mean asari remind us of crystal spires and togas? Surely that's not because they are a FREAKING MIRROR IMAGE OF ATHENS. They are lead by an elite group of philosophers and politicians who spend their time alternating between politics and musings about the nature of the universe. It's a true Republic, though again, those elite philosophers have a great deal of power. They're a major navel power, but no slotch in land conflicts either. And they were superseded as the major power by the Romans. Sorry, I mean turians. They're well known for art and poetry, and their love of the physical pleasures of life. Definitely Athens.
Full-Paragon chapter 13 . 7/30/2013
Liara needs to digest some human culture. We've ALWAYS made our own luck. Sometimes, sheer grit and determination are the ONLY reason someone wins. It's a lesson she might find valuable in the future, and I think it would help her to understand Willi- I mean Shepard better.

I see what you did there.
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