Reviews for Memoirs
Lady Amiee chapter 5 . 7/30/2013
Well now, this is getting better and better as it comes along. I've noticed your writing becoming more fluid with each chapter, bringing the scene from the page with such breathtaking clarity. I envy your voice too, it's clear, precise and strong, but not too strong, it's perfect and I want it. Lovely chap, love your liara and just love this story. Well done. xxx
Inkess chapter 11 . 7/29/2013
Ahh, nothing better for building team spirit than being stuck on an abandoned research station with lots of spidery monsters! My favorite moment is at the rooftops, when Tali just keeps repairing the cables without taking notice what's going on around her.

I love what you're doing in the game. Love it. Even minor characters like Tartakovsky are perfectly spot on, and the changes you bring make it even better. The tension in the end was captured perfectly. That's exactly how I got out of the hot labs when I was playing: Liara tossing them around with biotics, and me and other teammate shooting the hell out of anything that was in our path. Well done!
Full-Paragon chapter 12 . 7/29/2013
Emotionally traumatic chapter is emotionally traumatic. Good changes from canon here. Also, hilarious bit about the third squaddie being silent if they don't have lines. Very meta of you.
Full-Paragon chapter 11 . 7/29/2013
What scared Tali? Taking all bets!

1. A xenomorph. Oh come one, with one scary alien menace, what's one more?
2. A geth. Because there is no faster way to get a quarian to wet themselves.
3. A terminator. Arnold scares me too sometimes.
4. A khornite berzerker. KILL MAIM BURN! KILL MAIM BURN!
5. Oprah Winifred. I'm scared of her too.
Full-Paragon chapter 10 . 7/29/2013
I'm very glad you're not picking on Tali. A lot of authors tend to make every other member of the crew who isn't the LI but could be the LI out be some sort of quasi demon or incompetent fop. Everything that makes Tali awesome you captured very well here.

Obviously, asari horror movie protagonists are much smarter than they are in human movies. I'm not sure what that says about us. Nothing good I'd imagine.

Liara's voice continues to be strong and right on key. Great chapter!
Church Shepard chapter 3 . 7/27/2013
A very good chapter indeed. This seems more realistic than the actual game and sets itself apart far enough from the original story line to capture my interest. Your description is spot on and writing is again terrific. Aside from a couple of mistakes here and there it was perfect.
I must give you point out the "Liara T'soni I presume" line, I don't know if you intended to do it but it bears a remarkable resemblance to a famous historical quote. I read it first as Dr. T'soni thinking you were copying that quote and when I double checked it was in fact Liara instead of Dr. The only suggestion I can possibly make for this otherwise flawless chapter is to change it to "Dr. T'soni I presume". Trust me it fits perfectly and no I'm not crazy.

Another amazing chapter can't wait for more.

Sincerely,
Church "Caboose" Shepard
Inkess chapter 10 . 7/27/2013
Wow, what a great version of the Synthetic Insights mission. So much better in the game. This entire chapter was like that. You took familiar events from the game, and gave them personal touch, making them even better. Especially the rachni part, I loved how Liara figured out what they were.

Liara analyzing Shep's "sexual flirtatiousness" was priceless. Oh Liara, it's not that simple :D. I totally love how she's so calculated about it. Totally in character.

Every single chapter is a very enjoyable read, keep it up! :D
Osage chapter 4 . 7/27/2013
Another interesting insight to Liara's first couple of days aboard the Normandy. I like how you portray her wonder and willingness to see humans in a different light from herr asari friends. I also love her awkwardness in the med-bay, it really plays up our early days shy Liara.

There were only two minor things that stood out. This line here: The female human took my wrist and timed my pulse. I noticed she had unerringly found the asari pulse point, which is placed differently than that of a human.-our pulse points are on the wrist too, so unless hers is higher up or whatnot that part was a bit strange.

Also she mentions vids of the Normandy, but this being an ME-1 fic where the Normandy is a stealth frigate, I don't think it would be this well known just yet. But that's just my thinking. Again, there was nothing majorly wrong here, just food for thought. I enjoyed this chapter and can't wait for more!
Church Shepard chapter 2 . 7/26/2013
Well done you've made a very realistic version on what happened to Liara before Shep found her. This seems even more plausible than the actual mission in the game. Always bugged me that Liara, with seemingly no combat background would fight so well in the field. But you've made her much more believable and a little more like a damsel in distress. Of course you didn't make her too weak so she's still Liara. You've really done a remarkable job.

However I feel you should have slowed down a bit here. Chapter went by quick and a lot was happening. Perhaps a little better description for the ruins and such would have helped a lot here.
It's still the beginning so I'll reserve judgement on the rest of the plot.

Sincerely,
Church "Caboose" Shepard
Inkess chapter 9 . 7/26/2013
Oooh, Ash/Liara rivalry? Niiiice! That part cracked me up, especially Liara's approach to getting to know Shep better. You write her so well, have I ever mentioned that? Just the right amount of not-so-childish innocence and scientific pedantry. It's exactly like ME1 Liara.

Also, loved how you portray the asari to be more than blue butts shaking on a stage somewhere. It's so easy to focus on Tevos and the entire ME3 temple fiasco and blame them for a lot of things (I'm kinda guilty of that in my fics), but they are in fact a fascinating culture. I like how you clearly show that "proud to be an asari" vibe to Liara from the first game.

Poor Li, though. She's about to mature a little and in a painful way. I already feel for her and can't wait to see what you're going to do with it.
Luminara Unduli chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
Simply said, I'm so loving this.

You've captured Liara's voice remarkably well. She isn't pining for the loss of Shepard (though highly unlikely this far into the future). She wants to tell his story, not simply the hero's tale that has probably been turned into movies and myths, but rather, as she knew him; from the perspective of a friend, a lover, and even a scientists.

And I am left wondering what the final line is foretelling.
bluekrishna chapter 10 . 7/23/2013
lol tali 'spiders'. i can just hear her shrieking this. also, she is a techGAWD. ha! love this chapter. it went by so fast. i was fully immersed in it, rolling around in its goodies. i like how they're actually using the codices to look stuff up. that the info dumps on omnitools across the damn galaxy aren't just esoteric knowledge to make you go, 'huh, fancy that'. some of that stuff is actually very interesting, fluff-wise. anyway, great chapter!
Church Shepard chapter 1 . 7/22/2013
This looks very good, a story told from Liara's pov may prove exceptional. You're writing here has done a terrific job at setting up the premise and the tone. I am looking forward to seeing what Liara's story is here. I do hope you set it up differently from the games. For example perhaps adding some extra sequences or missions that did not occur or were done poorly in the game. And of course there is always the Shadow Broker side of things and what goes on behind the scenes. Also you've managed to pick a surprisingly underused romance option and my personal favorite.
I'm looking forward to reading more.

Sincerely,
Church "Caboose" Shepard
Full-Paragon chapter 9 . 7/22/2013
And so those first little hints of romance are starting to come out. I can see why Liara is a bit worried about Shep hating batarians, but frankly if a species carried on like the canon batarians did, I can't imagine many people forgetting or forgiving anytime soon. Again, mechanically this chapter is solid. You have a tendency to bust out some very juicy words which I really appreciate.
bluekrishna chapter 9 . 7/21/2013
"Given some of the scientific conferences I've attended, I fear I must disagree with you." i lol'ed. made me think chakwas might have met mordin at one of these.

jealous liara is jealous. slightly anyway. i can see her less than professional interest peeking out here. sneaky sneaky. i like the bit of asari lore you popped in there. makes sense that a...homogenized race like the asari would have individuals seek that which makes them unique and exemplify it. very intriguing.
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