Reviews for Memoirs
bluekrishna chapter 8 . 7/20/2013
YUS! Multiple teams. Shep delegating like a baus! I always felt there should have been some nod to this in the game. Got the men. USE'EM. lol. And shit, Shep being ruthless, niiiiice. I like Liara being a calming factor on him. Pointing out how she notices how he gets a bit...unhinged around slavers, that was a deft move there, at the end of this chapter. anyway, great chapter. good pacing, clean action. didn't notice any typos. i was pretty immersed.
Inkess chapter 8 . 7/18/2013
"partially naked cranium" I seriously rofled at this. You make Liara sound so ... alien I guess. She isn't a human and it shows in her thought process and voice.

Great job with action in this chapter. I was on the edge of my seat when Liara got hurt, although I know she lived. I loved how she got braver in combat. Actually, she kicked ass here. "'You were saying, Commander?'" that was freaking brilliant! The tension of shutting down the torches was also very palpable.

So, Shepard hates batarians. Good to know he's not a saint. Every colonist Shep should hate 'em, no matter how many blue points they got.

Can't wait to read more!
Inkess chapter 7 . 7/18/2013
Wow. Every chapter impresses me more and more. I can't tell you how much I like your Liara. From a reluctant geek to an accepted crew member, and finally to a shoppingholic. The image of Li buying expensive clothes and accessories just to store them in a dank compartment on a military ship made me chuckle. You have a great sense of humor.

Ash and Kaidan were perfect, too. So many writers don't give them justice, making them caricatures of what they're supposed to be. Not you. And Nassana and Shep? Such a great idea to have her kicked off the Citadel. I always wondered, how paragon is it to basically accept bribe from her after all that she's done? I felt so much satisfaction when Thane got her in ME2.

It's no wonder you're published. Your talent is astonishing.
Lady Amiee chapter 4 . 7/17/2013
Again I will sigh over your writing style. Spork! I want one! Love the title too, can't have OJ without some heartbreak. It's like crazy without pickles, can't have crazy without pickles, it tastes funny.
Anyway,... brilliantly done, I love how you develop Liara, she has grown with each chapter, becoming stronger and yet... for me, not losing her vulnerability. So envious. I want a damn spork. So bad. Brilliant chapter, well done.
Lady Amiee chapter 3 . 7/15/2013
Wow, another great chapter. I love your Liara, she's so well written. Your dialogue and prose is clean and well done, painting a vivid image for me to follow easily. Your pacing keeps me involved and well flowing, so I was immersed all of the way through. Great chapter, wonderfully done!
Joryn282 chapter 2 . 7/14/2013
Nice chapter. Good take on showcasing what happened to Liara on Therum before Shepard showed up. Flows well and works with the story. Everything seems to be in order as well. Look forward to reading more.
Full-Paragon chapter 8 . 7/14/2013
"Hi. I'm Urdnot Wrex. I INSTANTLY make any fic I am in awesome. Therefor, Memoirs is now awesome. You're welcome. Idiots."

I love how you get the voice of the aliens and the politics in this story. Liara really doesn't feel human, or at least not culturally human thanks to how differently she looks at the world. The bit about bringing her or Garrus along as witnesses was brilliant.

Also? Totally colonist. Probably also ruthless.
Full-Paragon chapter 7 . 7/14/2013
I love your sense of humor and byplay between the crew members. The bit about how ugly humans are was great!
Full-Paragon chapter 6 . 7/14/2013
Shep has the colonist background, calling it now.

True story: Shepard once won a dance concert. He did so by killing all the other entrants, expect for an elcor. The elcor dropped out at the last moment. Even an elcor makes Shep look bad on the dance floor.

Anyway, I'm really getting into this. I especially liked the bit with Tali. Probably because I am biased. But having her collaborate with Liara on that project was a stroke of genius.
theherocomplex chapter 8 . 7/14/2013

It's a testament to your ability to not only make your readers root for your characters, but to make them actively cringe when your characters are injured. I KNOW Liara makes it out alive, but I felt a chill when she got hurt. Her development into a capable, tough combatant is believable, but still understated - which works, since Liara isn't telling this story as an ego boost.

Shepard is beginning to clarify; anger is a useful way to show different sides to a character and while subtle, his rage reverberates throughout this section. You're deftly handling the changing dynamic in Liara and Shepard's relationship, and while there's nothing I appreciate more than a slow build, I'm so eager to see how their romance evolves.

As Liara becomes more comfortable and proficient in combat, I hope her recounting of events starts to reflect that. Right now, she's still getting used to using her powers to fight, but as she becomes closer to the crew and to the events, her emotional stakes will rise. It would feel a bit incongruous if her voice continued to be clinical and distant as events pull her closer to the center.

I will say it every time: great, great job. This is truly a pleasure to read.
theherocomplex chapter 7 . 7/13/2013
You know, it's almost unfair that I get to read this and offer concrit, because it's such a joy to read .

You've got a deft hand with characterizations, which is really impressive when it happens from a distance. The scene with Kaidan helping integrate Liara into the crew could easily have been over-written, to make up for happening out of Liara's POV, but the execution was light and certain. Ashley was also in good voice (oh, Ashley).

Shepard is still a mystery at this point, which I assume is going to be resolved as he and Liara are beginning to trust each other, or at least accept the necessity of working together for a greater good. It was nice to see a little more of his inner workings (so to speak) in this chapter, because I don't feel like I have much of a handle on him. That may be deliberate on your part, to match the relationship progression with Liara, but I would like to see more of him in interactions with the crew.

Liara is unsure without being naive or overly sweet, but she isn't pushy either. I'm really enjoying your particular characterization of her.

I kept an eye out for technical issues, but as always, this is a wonderfully polished chapter. If there are errors, they're too small for me to notice.

Lovely, lovely job.
Inkess chapter 6 . 7/13/2013
"Even the landing craft was barely scratched." Hmm, I smell a Mako joke incoming...
"On the other hand, he was a perfectly competent driver. It's just that not even the most talented pilot could make the Mako graceful." Ah yes, there it is. Hahaha, elevator and Mako jokes never get old :D

Gaah, you're such an awesome author! I think I'm falling in love with your writing. Everything is so perfect... everything. I can hear Liara narrating this to me, it flows without a hitch, I can see the action, everyone's in character and the banter is spot on. I wish I could give this story a couple more faves. One will have to do.

Full-Paragon chapter 5 . 7/13/2013
This story continues to be a real rarity for me. It's a retelling of ME that I actually am ENJOYING. Most of the time it's just a slog through the same old tired playbook, but this is something new and interesting, mostly thanks to your excellent writing and the unique perspective from Liara.
bluekrishna chapter 7 . 7/11/2013
Nassana was such a bitch. I was gloating on the inside when I was watching Thane kill her. I like that your Shep has personal issues with slavers and that it comes out in his interactions. Oh, snap, Liara getting all girly, shopping and whatnot. And Shep being concerned about her being present for the whole Benezia confrontation, that was cute. I like how you see the steel in Liara's spine here at the finish. Your Liara isn't whiny, or a coward. She really wasn't, in the game, though some fics paint her as such. Very nice. Continuity was flawless in this chapter. I was absorbed. There were no typos that jarred my immersion at all.
Aelia Douglass chapter 4 . 7/9/2013
Standard Issue Spork? Love it.

It took me a few paragraphs to hit my stride with this chapter, and I'm not sure how I feel about:

""I see." She looked uncomfortable. "What you may not realize is
that most human cultures are . . . ambivalent about nudity."

My eyes flew wide with chagrin. "

It seems like an odd reaction to the word "ambivalent," awfully extreme for a word that indicates conflicted indecision.

Still, I really love your story, and can't wait to read more.
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