Reviews for Memoirs
bluekrishna chapter 6 . 7/9/2013
I like how reticent Liara is when presented with Shepard's desire that she accompany them. The battle was smooth, the original dialogue superb. I always thought there should have been a lot more banter in the first game. I'm a sucker for banter. Everything about this chapter is clean and solid. It has flavor as well. No cardboard fare, this. Good on yer! XD
theherocomplex chapter 6 . 7/8/2013
Excellent chapter, as always - I feel like it's going to get old for you to keep reading that, but there it is.

One aspect I particularly enjoyed was how Liara's account of combat is both forensic and naive. She tries to describe everything in cold, accurate detail, but then she mentions Shepard's "terrible accuracy" and the reader gets a glimpse of the bewilderment and fear that she's trying to force down in order to survive.

It's interesting to see how she fits into canon events like this one - I never took her on this mission, so it's given me a fresh perspective.

She's in wonderful voice, and your particular Shepard is really enjoyable.

I really picked for nits, and came up empty-handed. Your prose is remarkably polished (something else you may tire of me writing!), but it's such a pleasure to fail in this regard.
theherocomplex chapter 5 . 7/6/2013
I have nothing productive to say right now, except that I'm still enjoying this immensely.

Oh, and that I wish allowed kudos like Ao3, so I could leave one every time this story struck a pure note (there would be a lot).
theherocomplex chapter 3 . 7/6/2013
Well, well, well. It looks like my plan to savour this over my vacation has been shot to pieces.

Sometimes a first-person POV can feel terribly self-indulgent, especially when it's being written at such a great distance from the events within the narrative. You've neatly avoided that by letting Liara point out where the the truth has been exaggerated, and you're not afraid to let her be unattractive. It's reassuring.

I'm really enjoying how you have Liara peeling back the mythology surrounding Shepard as well. It must be painful for her to do so, but her attention to the truth is one of my favorite things about this fic. In-game, Liara was so attached to certain ideas that it was painful to watch her stripped of her ideals. She's not in pain here. She's at peace.

Beautiful work. Your prose is clear, polished, and wonderfully honed. I can feel the craftsmanship that went into this, but none of the work.

So, excuse me while I go pour myself a glass of wine (a big, BIG glass of wine) and settle in. It's a weekend; weren't they specifically created for indulgences like this?
Full-Paragon chapter 4 . 7/6/2013
"In at least one vid the Normandy was clearly large on the inside than it was on the outside."

I lol'd.

Good descrpition of Kaidan. I actually sort of like him, even if he's a tad bland and nice-guy. At least unlike Jacob, Kaidan has an interesting back story and balls, as well as something that catches his interest aside from pushups.
Full-Paragon chapter 3 . 7/6/2013
Let me just say that I LOVED your description of Liara. You're right, she was probably miserable, half hallucinating, and covered in grim. And of course, any say, video games, that portrayed the scene would have he look awesome and make it terribly romantic. I loved that bit, very solid.

Also, I loved you saying Sheploo (Because that's the picture I got) was ugly. Now, as a guy, I'm not the best judge of these things, but I always figured Sheploo was pretty good looking for a guy. He looks like I would expect the strong leader type guy to appear. Strong, authoritative, a man you could follow into battle and a guy who you'd be happy to have your back. Of course, if I was an asari, I might just find human males to be pretty damn ugly, especially since my species had no males. Maybe Liara was hoping for bishi-shep, or whatever you call those girly boys that show up in anime all the time. The ones that DON'T look like Alex Louis Armstrong, who's manly form has been passed down his family line FOR GENERATIONS.

Er, where was I? Ah yes, review. Prose was good and all that. Apparently, someone gave you spelling genes. Could I borrow some? I lost mine.
Aelia Douglass chapter 3 . 7/5/2013
I'm not sure how I feel about her referring to herself in the third person when talking about the movie casting. That said, I love that detail. It's a great touch, and helps to remind readers of the frame-story that's going on.

Again, you've done a great job balancing narrative and action, and I really enjoy Liara's voice. (I also enjoy that she doesn't find Shepard attractive at all the first time they meet.)
Aelia Douglass chapter 2 . 7/5/2013
I really like her voice here. You do a great job with pacing, and there's a solid balance of narrative and action.

I'm also enjoying that this is recognizably related to canon without *being* a scene straight out of canon.

I'm definitely hooked, and want to know more of what happens.
Aelia Douglass chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
- Fabulation: I learned a new word! Nifty!

I really like how you manage to sum the game-story up so neatly, while still setting up the rest of your story. It makes a nice framework. (I haven't looked past this chapter, so it may very well be a frame story, which is what it reads as to me.)

I enjoy your writing style. It manages to come across very intelligently while still reading like a story and not an academic paper. Well, not *precisely* like an academic paper, though I have a feeling you were going for that professional feel in this chapter.

It's interesting. I'll be reading more soon.
Inkess chapter 5 . 7/5/2013
Oh yeah, we finally meet The Shep! And may I say, he is awesome. As is your Liara. Your version of the post-Therum debriefing is much better than what we saw in game. Liara requiring a payment made me chuckle. So she's not THAT naive :D Loved the final remark about paperwork.
What I'd like to see is a little more of the older Liara. This is pretty much looking through the eyes of the young Liara. I have no objections about how you voiced you (it's perfect, like I said already), but these are supposed to be memoirs and reading the fic makes me feel like it's happening now. Dunno, just got that feeling while I was reading this chapter. It's not spoiling my enjoyment in any way ;)
Osage chapter 3 . 7/4/2013
That was fantastic! I love how Liara dispels any notion of fantasy and wonder when they find her in that cave. The picture of sweat, dirty scalp dandruff and urine wasn't pretty but you're right in that it's probably accurate for someone stuck in a bubble for three days. I also love how she wasn't totally attracted to Shepard right off the bat. Everyone, myself included, writes their Shepard like a super model, but you've given us a real guy with some interesting features so good on ya for that.

On a technical note the narration is definitely stronger here. I can still hear Liara's natural dialogue and even Shepard sounds like in-game default Shep. Keep up the great work and I look forward to getting an inside view on other critical in-game moments.
theherocomplex chapter 2 . 7/4/2013
Well, I'm hooked.

I really enjoy the voice you've created for Liara: deliberate, intelligent, and totally in control. She's got the advantage of centuries, and she's using it to write this with a fairly clear head. Even though the events are going to become more emotional, I can see she's still going to have this objectivity.

This is the first time I've seen a fic from Liara's POV when I really, really wanted to know what was coming next, so well done there!
bluekrishna chapter 5 . 7/3/2013
lol the plot thickens. also, we get to see the not so glorious side to being a Spectre...the dreaded PAPERWORK. lessee, property damage plus wear and tear on equipment and personnel plus wages plus hush money if necessary equals...a big fuckin headache. Can't all be gallivanting across the universe with gun in hand, can it?

this chapter was very good, full of information and character interaction. I don't remember any typos or awkward phrasing anywhere. Dialogue is very natural, if dry, but Shep doesn't know her well enough to tease yet, i s'pose.
Lady Amiee chapter 2 . 7/2/2013
The action in this is intense and exciting, I love it. I wanted to lean forward in my seat. I could almost feel it! I love the vehemence in her dialogue, she's so passionate! I love your descriptive language, especially in the action, it really brought it to life so vividly.

I don't see any errors, not that I was looking too hard, I was too immersed within the chapter, so well done for that. Great chapter all in all xxx
Osage chapter 2 . 7/2/2013
Well done on the action! I held my breath the entire time Liara's fight or flight response was dettered by her methodical need to analyze everything. You do a very good job of keeping her in character that way, plus her dialogue screams authentic so there was nothing to worry about there.
My only complaint was that the beginning was a little too passive in terms of narration. The 'reporter style' was constantly telling me everything that's happening and wasn't allowing me to connect with her at first. Especially in parts like this : "That morning I had flown to Nova Yekaterinburg to purchase supplies and check for messages from offworld. On the return trip I let my aircar's autopilot do most of the work, while I hummed along to a T'Laeia composition, reviewed site maps, and considered where to place my next sampling trench. Then the navigation radar pinged, announcing the appearance of a large, fast-moving air vehicle in the neighborhood."

But as the chapter went on I saw this problem was rectified. However, it's something to keep in mind for later works. Same goes for comma splices (which I'm the queen of too), there were many at the beginning but they thankfully became less of a problem near the end.

Other than a few hiccups it was a wonderful rendition of Liara's ill fated, archeological excursion. I can't wait to read more!
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