Reviews for Memoirs
Osage chapter 1 . 7/1/2013
You write in such a captivating voice that just pulls you right into the story. I've read many fanfics where authors try to explain their Shepard with stats and the like but never with such carefully crafted finesse. This is genius! You give us his history, his background and what happened in the timeline while incorporating it into the story telling. I loved the way you portrayed Liara in your other work so I'm really looking forward to reading more of the story told through her voice.

There was nothing to fault here. Everything was flawless and even your description of events past is so vivid that it feels like it's happening right before our eyes. Keep up the fantastic work and I'll be checking more of this later.
theherocomplex chapter 1 . 7/1/2013
I'm already tearing up - you've captured such a lovely voice for Liara: polished, mature, and emotional without being melodramatic. It's clear that telling this story is her life's work, and it's going to take a lot of bravery on her part to do it.

And I really applaud your choice to make Liara write this after everyone is dead. She's so clear-headed about writing this story, but there's still a thread of loneliness running through this prologue.

Gorgeous beginning. I'm already getting ready to cry.
Full-Paragon chapter 2 . 7/1/2013
See, the problem with that ending is even though you constructed a really good cliff hanger, it's not really a cliffhanger. We know Liara turns out just fine because well, shes writing this much later. Still, it was pretty good prose, as was the rest of the chapter. I've always loved Liara as a character and this was an awesome job of showing what a younger Liara was like. You also pointed out a pretty good flaw in Benezia's logic; why not just say "Hey, I'm dying/need you know, please come here ASAP. Liara probably would have shown up.
Orifiel chapter 2 . 6/29/2013
Fantastic action in this chapter! It was refreshing to see Liara in such an active role on Therum. I like your take on how she ended up stuck in the barrier by the time Shepard and his/her squad found her. I especially enjoyed your depiction of her defending herself as she fled into the ruins. She was very capable and in character through the chapter, and your use of descriptors painted a very clear, intense picture. Also, great work describing the geth speech and combat damage; the lubricant spilling from their arms was an excellent detail to include. The pacing was perfect, your prose is virtually flawless, and I'm looking forward to continuing the story.
Inkess chapter 4 . 6/29/2013
This fic continues to be great. Liara's confusion about nudity was perfectly in character. Imagine if she started parading around the ship naked, and everyone already glared at her. She'd never leave the lab behind the medbay in embarrassment :D
I've never read a fic from her POV before, and you're doing a great job of showing her thoughts and voice (yes, I know I said it already, but you keep impressing me). It's interesting to see how she felt when she found out about her mother and Saren. She tells Shep about this, but knowing it from her POV shines an entirely different light on the scene.
Speaking of Shep, she finally gets to meat him properly. I wonder how long it'll take for her to start liking him (you said SLOW BURN in the summary ;))
Inkess chapter 3 . 6/29/2013
Another great chapter! I loved how you compared the scene from the game to a movie. Yup, a graceful asari floating in a bubble of blue light... NOT! I actually thought then, "If she was trapped there for days, shouldn't she look a little more... exhausted?"
You get Liara's voice so perfectly. I love how she thinks that Shep is a weird alien when she first met him. It looks like it would take a long time to overcome those prejudices.
The action parts were also good, especially the frantic run for exit in the end.
Can't wait to see more!
Joryn282 chapter 1 . 6/29/2013
This is a good beginning to your story. Sets up what we can expect to see with the rest. I find it interesting that you decided to not really pic one of the endings for your story. Probably smart since it lets the reader, if they have played the game, envision the ending that they prefer most. If that's what you were going for of course. Since this is only the prologue I don't know what you've revealed in the rest of the story. I look forward to reading more.
Lady Amiee chapter 1 . 6/28/2013
Well this is an interesting intro to what looks to be a fascinating story. I love how we see Liara in this, almost like a commentary, you gave her wisdom and knowledge but also personality. I love her *Voice* If that makes sense, I could almost hear her which I think is wonderfully done.

"Today William Shepard is almost forgotten. To trillions of sentient beings he is simply "the Shepard," a legendary hero of the distant past." This reached out of the page for me, I loved it.

Great intro, Love the premise! Cant wait for more.
Inkess chapter 2 . 6/28/2013
It is really refreshing to see Therum from Liara's perspective. You make her look both badass and innocent at the same time. She could hold her own against them, at least for a while, but still panicked in the end, and slammed a button at random. It was so like her, great job.
Loved the action, too. I could easily picture everything with my head, and combine it with what we know of Therum from the game.
Can't wait to see her meeting Shepard!
Inkess chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
Wow. What a great prologue. You won me right over. I like the scholarly sound to Liara's voice. It's exactly how I imagine her in her matron years. I'm also a sucker for good re-tells of the game, especially from POV's other than Shepard, and this certainly looks like one. Also, it's always good to see Shep humanized in fics, s/he was enough of a hero in game.
I'm very intrigued to find out what this new threat is, also what color Shep picked in the end of ME3, but something tells me I'm not going to get those answers for a long time. I'll have to be patient, I guess.
Once again, a great way to kick off a story! Bravo!
bluekrishna chapter 4 . 6/25/2013
Another well put together chapter. I know I've said it before, but the tone of Liara's voice is perfect here, dry, a little naive and a lot of curious. As any researcher would be. It's fun seeing a different perspective on the whole interspecies awkwardness thing. Kaiden and Chakwas are also very finely drawn here. The suspicion of the crew, the conversation, all very smooth. Can't say I've read too many Liara POV fics and that makes this a refreshingly unique take on the story. The acceptance at the end in the face of the evidence drives home the point that she's at her core a person of reason and willing to face the truth even if it hurts. Nicely done!
bluekrishna chapter 3 . 6/24/2013
aw man this is just getting better and better. the original banter you've written around the canon flows remarkably well. also, krogan know what books are? lol, just a little racist aside from my silly brain. very very nice. i like that liara finds shepard ugly, the things we'd find attractive in a man would be counter to everything a race evolved to look for more feminine traits in a potential partner would want. very empathetic on your part. you're in her head, you're showing us how asari in general might think and that's glorious. can't say there's a thing about this chapter that i'd change. it's tight, solid. and i like that even though ukarn was just a oneshot antagonist, you've managed to flesh him out in just a few short sentences. if he was a battlemaster and not a clone, he must have survived centuries. there must have been some brains in there and the touches of acerbic wit were really nice. anyway, i'm hooked, this is now a fave.
Full-Paragon chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
This is an astonishingly good intro to a story. Really, I can't think of a better why you could have done it. The somewhat dry, academic tone is perfect for this. The imagery is evocative, and your set up is phenomenal. I'll have to make time to read more, you've definitely piqued my interest.
bluekrishna chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
lol, panicked liara is panicked. and so richly her that i can hear her voice in my head. and makes her seem way more badass than just 'ooh, no, i hit some buttons and now i'm trapp-ed. save me shepard!' yes, this was action packed and very believable. and liara has a really really good memory. as a journal/memoir type thing, these feel very immediate. with almost too much clarity. but then, asari may not do the whole 'fog of adrenaline' thing that humans tend to do. hell, maybe they don't even have adrenaline. this was very nice, the tension is excellent, even knowing that liara gets trapped in a security field, i was willing her to get away from the geth. you made me worry for her safety, you! haha, this is shaping up to be pretty epic. on the crit end, didn't see much that detracted from the read.

"Too late I remembered that if I could see the krogan, the krogan could see me." remembered feels a little out of place here, maybe realized would work more fluidly?

anyway, that was it really, i didn't even notice any typos, well except maybe not capitalizing prothean near the end there, i don't think we'd say 'the Turian homeworld' in casual mention. or maybe we would, just seems...oldfashioned, but correct. it's consistent throughout so it's no real hardship on the eyes.
Orifiel chapter 1 . 6/22/2013
Your prose is very refined, and I like how you wrote Liara's voice and account of events in the memoir. I also like how she intends to bring him down from the legendary figure generations have built him up to be, humanizing him and showing that he was merely a person with an extraordinary gift. I'm intrigued to know what this new threat is, but I'm also looking forward to reading about Liara's history with Shepard. You have a great hook, and this is a fantastic start to Shepard and Liara's story.
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