|Reviews for Life in Reverse|
| JPElles chapter 7 . 11/19/2012
Interesting. Definetly interesting. Hope to see you keep on writing. Always enjoyable.
| nannygirl chapter 7 . 11/3/2012
This chapter was not only a very spectacular chapter but a chapter that was full of so much suspense! I LOVED it!
Opening scene at Fatso Burger picking up right from the last time was terrific! Poor Eric you could really feel that rattling feeling he had when he went up to place his order, but was still trying to be brave and get his chocolate shake and curly fries, which sounds so good! Had to laugh right to laugh right out loud when Eric was mentally telling his aglets to attack! LOL Great descriptions with the guys tearing up Fatso Burger and then their exit—angrily leaving but not before taking and not paying for his NO ONIONS burger—was excellently written! Could imagine it perfectly! BTW LOVED You referring the leader of the three as NO ONIONS. Very clever! :D Also really liked the interaction with Eric and Pam, it was very sweet and friendly. Really loved how Eric quickly connected Leo to the beared guy and remembered he needed to finish looking for him. Especially since he was with NO ONIONS guy! You could really feel the tension build up again there. And nice of Pam to let Eric use that back door, think it came in handy!
Leo’s scene with the three guys was WOW! Awesome! I mean not in a good way…well yes I do but not in a way that meant good things had happened. I meant in an awesome good way that you wrote that scene! Not only could I picture it all but once again I could feel the tension and the fear and confusion of Leo. Terrific work there! Those guys were NOT Leo’s friends and I’m glad he was able to figure that out on his own! Really liked seeing Leo trying to get rid of the guys, seeing a little bit of what he was like back in the day huh? And another funny bit that had me laughing “They looked like triplets with those matching denim vests. Trip-lets….tripping….I'm tripping!” LOL Oh Leo. Oh and poor Leo when the guys started beating him up…had to resist the urge to cover my eyes at that part!
Wonderful work on the section of things that happened at 6:50! Again the smells of Fatso Burger are making me hungry lol and I liked seeing Eric searching for Hyde and Leo at first, trying to figure out where they could be and hoping he would get a cool ride home. Nice little bit too with him waving at Pam and almost tripping over his aglet again LOL And again he starts getting paranoid, oh and I how I wish that he was just being paranoid again, but the image of those three ogres standing over Leo—Aye poor Leo. That was a heartbreaking, I want to cover my eyes scene again. This line here “The chocolate shake dropped from Eric's shocked fingers to the ground and the viscous liquid flowed like dark blood.” AWESOMELY DONE! As was the following paragraph with Eric seeing everything in slow motion as the guys turned to him, scary stuff! Loved that sing word line of ‘Run!’ cuz that’s just what I was thinking at that moment lol Really liked the end of the bit and how we were able to find out how it was that Eric got into that little space between the trash and wall.
Thought the next part was FANTASTIC! I really loved how it was so similar to the first chapter and ones before too, because it helps all the pieces of the stories fall into place! And the fact that it wasn’t word for word the same and instead had new little twists and turns was brilliant! Fabulous thinking!
LOVELOVELOVED the next scene with Eric being woken up by the ZZ Top biker! An di loved how slowly the pieces of the new scene are put together. The biker guys are there, Leo’s body is gone and the three triplets were NOT the bikers! How clever were you there! BRAVO! I LOVED that you had the bikers not be the villains that we readers and characters thought they would be and instead you made them the heroes who saved Leo and Eric! And the way the leader of the group kept making sure that Eric knew that he didn’t see anything. Liked how it was actually pretty true too! Really liked Eric’s interaction with the biker guy and most especially the part with him getting on the motorcycle “Did he hug the guy? No! That would be wrong on so many levels but then again, the biker gang saved his life. Wait….they saved Leo's life.” Terrific stuff!
The next scene with Hyde and Shin was really great and had me laughing several times. And some more fantastic descriptive lines about the store and furniture and what it was the boys were doing. The hallucination that Shin described with the chicken heads talking lol and Hyde thinking what he saw was a hallucination of a girl looking like Eric on the back motorcycle LOL Could so imagine that part with Hyde slightly waving back too lol And what a great way to end that scene with another great laugh! Plus I gotta tell you the mention of THC—something I don’t think I’d really actually heard of until now made me understand another joke from somewhere else even more and I found myself laughing at that too.
Wonderful, wonderful ending scene! I thought you did a magnificent job at writing Nurse Kitty checking temperatures and pressure; and nice touch of adding in Leo’s little crush on her too. Liked hearing what the story that the public new about was, and this whole bit “they said that some good Samaritans saved your life." "Wow" Leo managed to utter around the thermometer. "I don't know anybody from Samaria" Hahaha! Too funny and very Leo! Aw and I loved the image of the guy shuffling into the room to see their friend. And i liked How Leo did see Eric before everything went black and I could see Eric finding relief in that and just being happy to have his life back and having everyone, mostly himself and Leo, safe and sound! I think we were all glad about that! :D And i thought it was great thinking, plus it gave a few laughs, with everybody thinking Eric on the motorcycle was a vision given off by that stuff from Shin. I really loved this part and how you had it as the last piece of dialogue for the story Eric stuck his hands in his pockets and replied. "Couldn't have been me….I didn't see anything and I wasn't there." And of course the rest of the ending wrap up was just as wonderful and I especially loved this part here “And three angry monsters were either dead or on their way to prison thanks to a gang of motorcycle riding heroes.” Just proves you never judge a book by its cover!
Overall I thought this was an extremely excellent story! I loved all the suspense and drama thrown in with some good laughs and that big twist at the end! Brilliant all of it! Thank you so very much for not only writing it but sharing it with us all! Hope this story had helped spark up a few more little T7S story ideas for the future! Thank you once more! Amazing work once again! And keep up the awesome work!
| Jeremy Shane chapter 7 . 11/1/2012
Great Chapter & More Please
| TL22 chapter 7 . 11/1/2012
Wild, whacky and fun to read
"""The machine was loud and it roared to life as it vibrated probably more than Laurie's "best friend""""...Great descriptive line
| Ghost 1247 chapter 7 . 10/31/2012
Thank's for keeping them all alive!
| MistyMountainHop chapter 7 . 10/31/2012
Poor Leo! The first scene between him and the Denim-vest triplets... *shudder* Very tense.
I didn't see the rival biker gang showing up - but, man, am I glad they did. I totally thought Leo was a goner. I mean, you paralyzed Eric and ripped him and Jackie to shreds in *Favor for a Friend,* so I wouldn't put anything past you. *lol*
I love the end where none of Eric's friends believe he could've been around when Leo was beaten up (or saved). It blends in nicely with the fact that he wasn't supposed to have been there (or have seen anything).
I'm really glad you wrote another T7S fanfic, Marla! I hope the T7S muse flutters inside your skull again! This story was both full of tension and humor, and I looked forward to each chapter being posted!
Comments on specific lines below:
The growl from one of the large dudes behind Eric made his toes curl up in his sneakers. Attack him Aglet! Attack! - This cracked me up. *lolol*
Triplet number Three raised an arm and the setting sun glinted harshly off the brass knuckles that
adorned his beefy fist. The coiled fingers unfurled and the forefinger pointed at Eric. - Nice imagery.
Eric looked over at the scene of Leo's death and blinked. Leo's body was gone! The triplets were lying in broken prone positions around the alley, much in the way Leo had been. - Oh, wow!
On the bitch seat of the Shovelhead bike was a skinny guy that looked a lot like Forman and he was waving like a little girl. Hyde squinted and sort of waved back. The bikes thundered past the intersection and he turned to Shin.
"I want three bags of this shit!" - LOLOL Great comedic timing.
| SmokinAK47 chapter 7 . 10/31/2012
Great story! I enjoyed the whole thing and I can't wait to read more stories you write ;)
| topher girl0102 chapter 6 . 10/4/2012
*******Eric took one step backwards and crashed into a table. Three sets of angry eyeballs turned in his direction and he froze.
He couldn't move.
He was probably going to be dead real soon.
very in character adorable Eric ...Im surprised that he's stuck it out this far as it were :) ...hope they are all safe back home at the end :)
| nannygirl chapter 6 . 10/2/2012
Splendidly super work on this sixth chapter!
Great recaps of what happened in the chapter before the last one and how it left off to start up this new one! And now we get to see what happened in that hour or so between those last two chapters!
Terrific opening with poor Eric wheezing and sweating while running in that heat. Never fun. But I loved the details of the stores nearby, Stacy’s Dress Shop, Danny’s Gas Station, and the info about how Fatso Burger wasn’t too far from Grooves. It really helped set the scene and made it even easier to picture the little town of Point Place and their shopping center! Had to laugh a little at Eric’s thoughts when he reminded himself that Fatso Burger was only minutes away from Grooves when they went there by car lol
Good to hear there were no sounds of the motorcycle gang in the town. But that click tap sound thing doesn’t sound very good especially since it’s following him.
The whole bit with Danny Kinson was AWESOME! I LOVED that whole little scene. The reason Eric went into to get that free bumper sticker ‘Gas Grass or Ass…Nobody Rides Free’ lol was great! Terrific details of the place with the smells of oil and rust, and the faded desk—could imagine walking into the place myself! I also really loved reading about the connection Eric had with Danny, the memory of him saving Tootsie pop from him and Laurie every time Red came by to fill up the Vista Cruiser. Such a sweet memory and it gave a real sense and wonderful feeling of that little hometown where everybody know everybody. Loved that! Nice of Danny to ask about the Vista Cruiser, made me smile.
Great thinking of Eric to ask him if he had seen Leo. And him having to figure out a good way to explain how he knew him Hahaha. But he did a really god job at remembering that Leo was in the lodge and giving out that information to help him find Leo. And Danny does know him—again LOVE the way this town knows everybody :D And I’m glad Danny sees Leo as a good guy, nice detail of him referring to him by his last name first. Oh and the cinnamon Toothpicks of Danny’s that he was using to help him quit smoking was another wonderful touch! Though it send to make Eric even more impatient lol Liked the way Danny looks through the receipts to help tell him when Leo was there, a very clever idea! And it seemed to really help Eric out too. Again that first scene was very very well done and the character of Danny was terrific! Like Lisa stated already he really did feel so real and I wish he had been a character on the show for a least an episode or so!
Uh-o that click, tick tap noise is still following him. But did follow him while he was at the gas station did it? Hmm… Had to laugh at the image of Eric whirling around and expecting a Kelso trick to pop out lol. And the town being so empty like that, another not so good sign. But I loved that the silence and ghost town feeling made Eric go into Fantasy mode and made him picture himself as Marshal Dillon! That whole Gunsmoke bit was awesomely done and so very funny! Could picture Kelso perfectly as deputy Festus. And I so adored the way you wrote the dialogue there! Brilliant work!
Still loving that long screech breaking up the dreams and bring the characters back to reality. So very creative! :D And it looks like it was another sound that brought Eric back to reality that click, tick, tap sound. And the sound was his aglet hitting the pavement! Oh gosh! That was awesome! I loved how Eric discovered it, even fi it meant a bit of a painful fall but that feeling of relief I’m sure made it worth it all. Oh that’s why he didn’t hear the noise while he was inside! Oh that was just too terrifically thought out, Marla! LOVED it! Fabulous lien at the end too with Eric tying up his shoe “Still, he rousted himself to a crouch and tied his laces frowning at the enemy aglet that scared him half to death. Stupid shoe!” Loved the image being described and not just told and making the enemy the aglet plus the stupid shoe—lol
Another very great scene and this time we get to see what happened to Hyde and where he was during the whole thing. Again great descriptions of the shop and the smells and images in there. Oh and also great shop at writing the woman’s lines to Hyde, I had no idea what she was saying but that’s what made it so great—I felt just as confused as Hyde! lol Funny bit with the lady spitting and Hyde jumping back lol And Shin was another great character that you added into this story sounds like a guy I could see the gang—especially Hyde hanging around with It was nice of him to translate what his mother had said, not so nice what she had said though haha
Great line here “ If he had only known that 15 minutes ago his shirt wouldn't be smelling like a fish head right now” could imagine that as a thought of Hyde’s. And it’s a sample that distracts Hyde from going to find Eric and or Leo? Oh Hyde. Though hopefully it’ll work out better that he’s not with the two when trouble starts…okay maybe not but that’s what I’m hoping lol
Fabulous job on the next and final scene! Loved how Fatso is described by Eric as the ugly faced clown and the way he’s the thing to welcome Eric to the fast food place. Also a really nice bit with the reminder of his first job at the place. That was a paragraph that was so very nicely written! Mmm the smell of French fries now I’m wanting some!
Uh-o it loosk like trouble has started even before Eric got there. The biker getting angry over the onions in his burger, that poor lady at the register. Though once again you’ve painted a clear picture of the whole scene, hamburger up on the menu and all. The paragraph with Eric getting worried and scared and getting ready to make an exit was so very wonderfully done, LOVED these lines here “The ambient Fatso Burger atmosphere he walked into seconds ago, had changed into something bad. Something unpalatable and if he had any stones, this was the time to quietly step out and call it a night.” It describes it all so awesomely!
Then Eric crashing into the table…Oh no. I had to cover my eyes a little after reading that part, knew nothing good was gonna come from that. And I was right those biker guys staring at him, I’m even more worried for Eric now. Then you ending it with Eric thinking ‘Mommy’ lol oh the poor guy.
Fantastic cliffhanger! I can’t wait to see what will happen next! You say we’re getting close to the end but we’ve still gotta find out what happened between this chapter and the last and what will happen in the end. You’ve got me at the edge of my seat here!
Oh and thanks for sharing the info on the aglet. It is an interesting word, who knew that that little thing had a name! I only knew it because of one of those Disney songs that get stuck in your head for days lol
Again this was a wonderfully terrific chapter! I enjoyed reading it very much! Looking forward to the next chapter! Till then keep up the always fabulous work!
| Jeremy Shane chapter 6 . 9/30/2012
Good Chapter & More Please
| MistyMountainHop chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
Right at the outset of this chapter, I'm nervous on Eric's behalf. Someone (or something) is following him.
Danny Kinson's character is a nice touch. I like his history with Eric and Laurie. He seems very real. And Eric's finally going to get one of those bumper stickers. That's probably gonne be the best part of his day, considering what's coming.
He picked up a pack of cinnamon toothpicks - I like this specific detail. They're not just toothpicks but cinnamon toothpicks. Before Danny explains them, we already know they're probably significant, and then Danny's explanation clinches it. It's a minor characterization, but it adds to Danny's realness.
Eric would definitely try to comfort himself with a brief fantasy.
Okay, I love love love the paragraph where he trips. I experienced both Eric's anxiety and relief. And it's such a true thing, too, to hear an unidentifiable sound and have it end up being self-created.
This exchange made me laugh:
"Yeah?" Hyde asked hopefully, "What did she say before she spit at me?"
The kid grinned, "My mom says that your friend is an idiot and he's not here."
I also liked the whole scene in the market. Your description was well done. I imagined myself there with Hyde. Leo's absence can't worry him too badly; otherwise, he wouldn't go for a circle. Then again... *lol*
"Get me a damn cheeseburger with no fucking onions or I'm gonna get pissed." - Wow. So that's his version of calm, cool, and collected? *lol*
So Eric's in the thick of the bicycle gang, huh? What's he gonna do? *can't wait to find out*
"Aglet" is a neat word and thing. :D
| TL22 chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
I loved this chapter from beginning to end. I am drinking beer and had to put it aside.
You are capturing the zaniness of the show it's self. They all mean well but always find someway to screw thing up.
Now I am wondering if the three sets of eyes belong to Cerberus. That would be a worthy guardian of the burgers
Funny funny chapter
| SmokinAK47 chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
"Mommy!" Classic Eric...another great chapter!
Aglets? hm... lol
| Ghost 1247 chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
I am so surprised that Eric hasn't gone screaming home to Kitty & Red, I believe the bikers are still going to make another appearances?
| Jeremy Shane chapter 5 . 9/24/2012
Good Chapter & More Please