|Reviews for Champion League Finals|
| Rebekah Matthews chapter 1 . 9/16
This was incredibly detailed and so well written. Once I started reading, I couldn't stop! There was some cute Misty moments but the battle was intense! As you read, you can literally see it in your mind's eye. It was perfect. It could easily fit into the animé itself, showing Ash finally being a champion that we've waited for for years. You had Ash's personality written perfectly. I absolutely applaud you.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/10
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| anjumstar chapter 1 . 8/24
My first impulse was to say that there was no good reason for a story this long to be all one chapter. But after reading it...yeah, I don't really have a good reason, but it just makes sense like this. Otherwise, you'd have to falsely create a dramatic cliffhanger to split it off and, just no. I think you made the right call.
You really think that Sparky is Ritchie's first pokemon? I would have guessed Zippo. Since he's the starter that he owns. But hey, while I'm talking about him, I'll talk about the audience participation part of this story in general. I think you were trying to balance too many characters and I'm not sure that it worked as well as it could have. I liked them all being there, but making it a smaller group of people could have helped. However, I think that the best solution might have been separating them into cliques. It's hard to write an inclusive conversation between a dozen people because, well, they're not super inclusive in real life. In a group like that, there are usually a couple of leaders and everyone else struggles to get a word in edgewise. So there should have been a lot of different conversations going on at once and you could have cycled through them. That way everyone would have a greater say, more ground could be covered, and you could have explored other character dynamics a little deeper.
That being said, I thought it was a great idea to split this story up the way that you did. I've definitely read stories like this in which there's a big battle and we switch between it and the people in the stands, but doing that plus the addition of the flashbacks to the day before was a great touch. If I ever were to write a big battle story like this, I would definitely steal that idea from you. It also added a little bit of a mystery element. I love reading Pokemon battles, but long ones can get a little monotonous when they're not split up somehow. This was the perfect solution to keep you engaged.
I did have a few qualms with the flashback sections, though, and the Pokeshipping in general. It was just a little out of place. I liked the brief address of Misty's crush: she's tried to kick it, but somehow every time she finds herself around Ash it flares up again. That was believable and I liked it. But I didn't believe it as strongly on Ash's side. He disappeared for five years? I just don't believe that he would have developed a crush on Misty during that time. Ash is still Ash and if he was committed to training, then he wasn't having any hormonal realizations about a girl he hasn't spent considerable time with in years. And if he did realize it, then he would have acted on it as soon as he saw her again. So perhaps it developed in the time he's spent with her since coming back? That would be feasible, but I wanted that backstory. Without any explanation, the Pokeshipping just seemed convenient and a little something to entice readers. It had very little nuance.
I'm a little on the fence about that non-kiss moment. It was different. I like that. And I thought Misty using it as motivation for him was kind of great. But I also see her as more into him than he is to her, so I'm not sure that I can imagine her saying no. At least not without majorly kicking herself for it a beat later. And it did make the kiss at the end really adorable. And romantic. But the romance was too simple and fluffly for an Ash that has been so angsty that he disappeared for 5 years.
Maybe that's the part I'm mad about. I wish we had had more motivation for that. Seen why he did that and what it was like for him. I mean, he's not Red. That's something Red would do, not something Ash would do-Ash thrives with other people. Ash is a Pokemon person, but he's also a huge people person. People are their best selves around him and he's his best self around everyone (except Gary).
And then the nerves before the battle. All the pressure that he put on himself. I think that he really grew out of that after his first league. After that, he was always more excited. And always eager to pick himself up and move on to the next region after losing. So that added pressure was OOC for me.
I'd say that the best element was the battle itself. Very well-written. I loved the creativity. It's always tough for me, reading a fic where Ash wins-because Ash NEVER wins!-and so it immediately strikes my heart as OOC. But, nevertheless, this was as good as it gets. Cynthia was great. Her strategy with Spiritomb in particular impressed me. I don't think it was necessary to emphasize that it was a new Pokemon. Especially since he is one of the 'mons that we know her to have. I think if you were going to do that, you should have made it an actual Pokemon that she didn't have in the games. But that strategy and her one with Garchomp made her seem like champion material.
Then, in contrast, the way you handled Ash with Pikachu v Garchomp at the end was incredible. I mean, I think it was a little much for Pikachu, just since he'd been basically KO'd in his first match-easily solved by leaving him a little fresher at the end of that match-but the strategy was great. Only Ash would be able to make electricity work on a ground type, and I mean that literally. It's that kind of shit that he pulls that makes him special. Not that he's a great battler in general, but that he pulls out the weirdest tricks that shouldn't work but do. Nice.
My one little thing about the battle was the break in the middle. It wouldn't make sense to do that to me. It gives the Pokemon in the match a chance to recover a little, which would give one contestant a slight advantage. No bueno. Plus, it would probably psych any challenger out, as it did Ash. It wasn't really necessary dramatically either.
Okay, I should probably let all this be more than enough. I could say more, but this was written 5 years ago so...I'll take my leave. Good work!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/4
I m speechless... You rock man that's the best I have ever heard...
| DianapinedoI don chapter 1 . 3/18
I love it and it was not immediately available from my house in a row
The fact is the only way I am a little more of the best of all tin and I love
I just want to be the best way to go back in my room is the only way to
I don't have to do it all day today I don't think that it was not the
The only use a lot to do I it so I could go for it is the most beautiful and the best
I don't know why I have a nice day y I don't have a great way for a long day ahead and I don't have a nice person and the other side of the year and the only way to go to bed and I don't have the same thing to me I love the fact I don't have to do it all
The fact I don't have a nice dream of you guys have been the most recent update is so much better now than I am so glad to be able the only way you can do that for me
I love it so I don't think that it was the best way of saying
| Mistyfan girl chapter 1 . 2/7
Awesome story just awesome. This story felt like real episode. You and your friend got an amazing gift this felt so real it's favarite part was the kiss one it was just beutiful. So yeah I want to thank you and your friend for making this out of this world story in my opinion. That changed my life in a way. I hope you keep making more stories.
| bigb360 chapter 1 . 1/8
This was brilliant. I had goosebumps during Charizard and Pikachu's final go with Garachomp. It was just that well written. This has inspired me to do my best work when i get to the climax of my story. This was so fun to read.
| UsefulCriticOfGeniusFanfiction chapter 1 . 8/23/2016
Finally I have witnessed true EPICNESS from the greatest literary pokemon battle I have ever read.
This is the closest I have ever seen a pokemon battle come to perfection. I just KNEW it was possible, and you have proven it to me. Thank you for writing this story, and I fully agree with the length and format choices.
I am currently attempting to write my own pokemon stories and am overjoyed to have such an amazing example to learn from in the art of battle writing. Thank you for this as well.
At the moment I do not have the hours of time needed to dissect and review each and every part of this incredible story, but someday I will be sending you my full review in thanks.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/17/2016
This story was absolutely astounding. Never before have I read fanfiction so beautifully written. The entire time, I felt as though I was right next to Ash, viewing everything in perfect detail. Sorry, for rambling, but I just want to say you're a magnificent author, and I'd love to see more from you.
| Digitialwriter92 chapter 1 . 6/15/2016
Oh man I loved this Battle. Wish this was a series of battles though would of loved to see Ash's other Pokemon help him get where he is. But this was the best battle ever. Makes us remember that Ash sent out to be the best Pokemon Master. I think the show lost some of its meaning sometime ago.
| Enchanter's Nightshade chapter 1 . 11/1/2015
Awww the feeels! Thank you for sharing this awesome piece of work. Loved Ash and Misty, how you kept them in character (I'd forgotten how feisty she was P).
Your description of the battle was fantastic and detailed enough that I pictured myself there.
Looking forward to other work from you in future. Thanks for keeping the Pokeshipping flame alive.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/5/2015
It's 1.30 right now, oops
| Kitty Amadeus chapter 1 . 6/22/2015
Most awesome written battle ever. I would love a sequel with Red and Ash and Misty and more but it was spectacular. I loved it.
| QUEENSPELLER67 chapter 1 . 6/4/2015
Cynthia's Garchomp is female, by the way. Awesome we see Lapras again. Plus we see Pidgeot, too! Dawn has seen a Gastrodon and Milotic before, unless this doesn't follow the anime, but by the looks of things, it does.
Max has seen Ash's Pikachu defeat a Milotic, namely Lucy's and I think Juan's. I know he defeated Lucy's for sure. That was a good story, though.
| HelloOrlando chapter 1 . 4/24/2015
You know what I wish? That they had tied. Now that would have been a nice battle.