Reviews for Carnival
DobbyLovesSocks chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
Aww. :) This was really sweet father/son bonding. Well done! I recommend you look this over, though, because there was a handful of typos, but the story itself was very good.
dragonflybeach chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
Great job with using all the prompts and very sweet bonding moments with Ron and Hugo. But maybe if you had mentioned that Arthur had taken Ron to carnivals when he was younger or something, so the readers aren't wondering how wizards understand everything going on at a muggle event? IDK...
silver-nightstorm chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
At first I had a bit of a difficult time getting into this because I was hung up on the fact that "The Weasley's don't know anything about Muggles, how are they surviving in a Muggle carnival?" The I realized it's a wizarding carnival and enjoyed this. I love Parent/Child bonding fics and this one didn't disappoint!
Gamma Orionis chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
This was so sweet, and a little bit sad too, in a way. I really enjoyed the father-son relationship between Ron and Hugo. Their bond was very strong and it was lovely to read.
yellow 14 chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Really sweet, it'll certainly give me a run for my money. Keep writing
opaque-girl chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
I loved how you incorporated so many different prompts and I really liked the Ron/Hugo bonding moments.. I thought they were incredibly sweet :)
Selenehekate chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Wow, you used a thousand prompts within this piece. They didn't blend as well as the prompts normally do in your work, however kudos to you for fitting them all in. I like the way that you characterized Hugo; it was rather adorable. And Ron was so sweet! Overall, great job on this piece!
Tammi-Stark chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Aww! I loved this one! I love seeing the softer fatherly side of Ron and Hugo is just plain awesome! I really liked this one! I didn't see any mistakes. Great job!
The Last Poison Apple chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
This was plenty interesting. I loved to see how Ron's really grown and matured. Couple of grammar slips, but nothing that really detracts. Nicely done!
AmzyD chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Aww, that is so portray them really really well
inkteardrops chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
Aw, I want Ron as a father now! I love the Father/Son bonding moments and it really was sweet how Ron took Hugo to a carnival. This was excellent and really well written. Great characterisation and really well written! :)
still kat chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
You did a great job in incorporating in the quotes, but along the story I think that Ron lost some of his personality. I could see flashes of it, like at the end when, 'Ron replied quasi-dramatically,' but the story felt a bit hollow, if you know what I mean. It seemed slightly...bland, even though you had some interesting things happen.

I like that you had Ron take Hugo out on to a carnival for some bonding time, it was a nice, familial thing to do.
whatpassesformymind chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
It's really nice to see some Ron and Hugo time. Most next gen fics don't include much of the parents. I noticed a few small problems, like 'caramalised apples,' should be spelt caramelised, and 'beneath it in a smaller fond ' should be font. But otherwise, great :)
the lola chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
There was such a nostalgic quality to this story, which I really loved. I could completely relate to Hugo's excitement and all of his feelings, as well as how cool it seems to have a parent to yourself for the day. It was such a light story, which I really enjoyed, but the father-son and family bonds shone through strong in this story, which is I'm sure what you were trying to do. Also a huge well done on getting so many prompts in, that's pretty amazing!
autumn midnights chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Awww, this was sweet. I haven't read too much Ron-Hugo family bonding, to be honest, but I like how you've written it. Ron seems in-character, and I can definitely picture him planning something like this for Hugo's ninth birthday. Hugo is definitely a typical nine-year-old boy, and I think that his actions and dialogue made a lot of sense for a kid that age. I like the way you wrote it as well, it was simple and didn't go overboard on the details and pointless things. There were a couple little things that stood out, though - 'Nearless Headless Nick', for instance, should be 'Nearly Headless Nick', and 'Today there were nine candles, because that's the age Hugo had attained today.' - the second part of that sentence just seems a little obvious to me, and plus you had the word 'today' in that sentence twice. I really liked this, though - family bonding fics are awesome, and yours was really cool. I like the description of the carnival, and I think you did a really nice job :)
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