|Reviews for The Heart of Everything: Shallow Bay|
| RosevalleyNB chapter 46 . 1/27
Yay for me, I've finished the second installment. It just took me a bit longer than I'd expected, damn my social and professional obligations.
You've done a great job with setting the background for the story in this part, and I'll say it again; your writing improves with each passing chapter. Good job!
I hope that all characters will make it unscathed in the end and that you male characters won't get abused as much as they were in this part. Jeesh, your girls are violent! ;)
I can't wait to start the third part to see how this all ends. I've got a notification for ch42 for that one. And let me tell you, I have to refrain myself not to read it before reading the previous ones first.
I plan to review the chapters for the third part as I go. So, be prepared for some spamming in the next few days! :)
| Guest chapter 46 . 8/29/2014
I loved the light ending! It's kind of like a light in the dark sort of thing.
| Guest chapter 46 . 12/31/2013
So...since tomorrow is the first of January does that mean there's going to be an update? I can't wait and will keep asking until you do so!
| Guest chapter 46 . 12/8/2013
Great read! You really do get into the minds of your characters and I don't see that too often on this site. You still have them as cannon, but you make them your own and this really allows for the characters to grow. Plus, your soundtrack includes a lot of good songs. I'm glad that you didn't use too much main stream pop.
| Guest chapter 46 . 11/11/2013
What is with the long wait!? I want to know what she says!
| Harmony'sLoveHP chapter 4 . 11/11/2013
I don't think that when you put "gurgling" into your story that you meant that word. The one you were probably looking for was something similar to the word "strenuous".
In the flashback, you had "Why would not I be". You switched up your "not" and your "I".
"Flint is what nineteen?" would read better if you put commas in "Flint is, what, nineteen?"
"Is he hygiene good", should be "Is his"
Nice chapter, can't wait to read more.
| Harmony'sLoveHP chapter 3 . 11/11/2013
In the first paragraph, you started almost every sentence with "he". It feels too repetitive and you may want to be more careful of that.
"Workouts normally made his muscles fell". "Fell" Should be "feel".
"There is always loopholes" should be that there "are always loopholes".
I don't feel like you should use parentheses in the middle of a paragraph. Set it off with dashes or commas and it would read better.
"Most of the time none of them was . . ." "Was" should be "were".
In the flashback, you've inserted an ellipsis. When it comes at the end of the sentence, you need to have four periods instead of three.
Nice chapter and sorry that I'm so far behind :/
| Guest chapter 46 . 9/13/2013
Why such the long wait? I understand being busy, but I really want to know what happens next! I guess I'll just have to check back in. Great story, btw!
| MileyRowling chapter 46 . 9/3/2013
I love it, but I hate the long wait! Sighs...
| Guest chapter 46 . 9/3/2013
What! January! You are killing me here! Amazing soundtrack by the way!
| twilightlover427 chapter 45 . 9/3/2013
wait I have to wait till January to find out what she says? Bummer!
| MileyRowling chapter 44 . 8/27/2013
I love the capture the flag bit of it! It adds some comic relief to this story!
| MileyRowling chapter 43 . 8/20/2013
Great work! I liked this last bit at Hogwarts.
| Guest chapter 42 . 8/13/2013
You have a very good story going here!
| MileyRowling chapter 42 . 8/13/2013
So sad when Dumbledore died. Great chapter!