Reviews for Dark Angel
Psychopathic Enigma chapter 10 . 11/3/2014
UP-DATE! UP-DATE! UP-DATE! UP-DATE!
Ya hear that? That's the sound of Sisters Grimm country girls waitn on an update to this AWESOME story! Get on it girlie!
Psychopathic Enigma
Curlscat chapter 10 . 6/6/2013
Don't delete it. Just replace the documents. You'll lose all your reviews if you delete it.
Curlscat chapter 9 . 1/14/2013
When people are drunk, their words don't go liiiikkkkeeeeee thisssssss.
Curlscat chapter 8 . 1/14/2013
The 'Puck is a flirt and the captain of the football team' thing is overused. He's a SOPHOMORE. They wouldn't make him star quarterback.
Curlscat chapter 7 . 1/14/2013
THIS CHAPTER IS ONE GIANT PARAGRAPH I CAN'T READ IT HELP ME OUT HERE THANKS.
Curlscat chapter 6 . 1/14/2013
Oh dear. Blake's new friends just so HAPPEN to hate Sabrina?
Curlscat chapter 5 . 1/14/2013
You need more commas. A lot more commas. And capitals. Doesn't your iWhatever know that?

A class that gives you time off in the end to socialize? What is this?
Curlscat chapter 4 . 1/14/2013
Blake is sliding rapidly into Mary Sue territory. She's an Everafter with unknown powers and she's a NEW Everafter, her name is 'Blake Rebel Straight,' which, while a cool name for a band, and shorter than most Mary Sue's names are, is NOT a normal name anyone would give their kid. Give her a normal middle name?

You know 'your' and 'you're' are NOT interchangeable, right?

Sorry this is kind of negative, but I am very hard on Mary Sues because... Real people, please.
Curlscat chapter 3 . 1/14/2013
Blake's description should have had Puck and Sabrina both going 'boring.'

You never really explained how Blake got to be an Everafter, you know.
Curlscat chapter 2 . 1/14/2013
My biggest problem with your story, other than the mechanical errors, is that you rush everything. We need more time to get to know Blake. The CHARACTERS need more time to get to know Blake.

Also there's no Aeropostale in Ferryport Landing, where is Sabrina getting expensive clothes? You don't need to describe what they're wearing in detail like that. Just 'I got dressed' works in this case. The only time you really need to describe the clothes is if they're nice, unusual, or important to the characterization of the person. Like if you described Blake's clothes to tell us more about her, that would be okay.

Seriously. GRANNY WOULD HAVE TOLD THEM ABOUT BLAKE BEFORE SHE SHOWED UP.
Curlscat chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Hey! I'm here to see about doing some critiquing, as requested!

Tell me if I'm being too harsh, sometimes I can get a bit too caught up in corrections and forget to point out the positives too.

Your opening is a) missing the first word, b) a bit too abrupt. She 'had an eerie feeling'? That's not foreshadowing or anything...

'Wandered' and 'wondered' do not mean the same thing.

You're missing a lot of words. What would actually be easier is if you just sent me copies of these chapters and I edited them there and then you just replaced the content in the chapters with the edited versions, because this is a lot to critique through a review.

One thing that you want to know is that 'ya' isn't really a word. What you mean is 'YEAH,' which is a slang form of yes. 'Ya' means 'go horsie, go!'

Lots of missing capitals along with words.

Granny's explanation was too short, and you didn't give us any of the kid's reactions. Also Granny wouldn't do that. She'd tell people beforehand, and if she didn't, she'd ask Sabrina if it was okay for them to share a bedroom.

'Hear' and 'here' are not the same word at all.
haha chapter 8 . 11/14/2012
Awesome! Update soon with longer chapters!
timetoletgo chapter 8 . 11/10/2012
?
haha chapter 7 . 10/24/2012
Its awesome i love it! Update soon plz w/ longer chapters!
timetoletgo chapter 7 . 10/19/2012
Wow Blake! Just, dont make her so flawless. She needs to have at leats ONE flaw. Other than that...YOU GO GIRL!
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