|Reviews for He Who Protects the Living|
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/29/2013
This has been an amazing story thus far! I love the relationship between Saber and Shirou, and the Path this story is taking just keeps getting better and better. Hope to see more of this masterpiece soon, keep goin and stay golden
| isi chapter 10 . 4/17/2013
Please continue to write
| Kami no Uzumaki chapter 2 . 3/25/2013
Just the first chapter, and already I've fallen in love with the concept of this story's idea. I am seriously looking forward to reading the other chapters.
But I have to say I am a much bigger fan of Ichigo x Saber, and I would gladly discuss why in a message when you have the time...even thinking about drawing a picture of them...
Anyway looking forward to more
| Jerrac chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
There were a couple places in this chapter where you changed from third person to first person without discernible reason. You might want to fix that. Not much else to say since I've only read the first chapter. ;)
| MrNeedsToRemoveAllFavs chapter 2 . 3/13/2013
Saber would be shocked at a human using prana burst since it takes an amount that might be big enough to kill most magus.
Aren't those spiral swords Archer uses in his bow Noble Phantasms that explode on contact?
| MrNeedsToRemoveAllFavs chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
When the ghost scene happens Shirou says her even though it is a boy ghost.
Why would the circle at his house move when nobody is there?
White came out of his stomach, did it explode up onto his face to form the mask he smashed?
| No-One chapter 8 . 3/11/2013
Really great story so far! Hope you continue with the updates! Regarding this chapter, I though Shirou/Ichigo was dead for sure when he called Gilgamesh "Goldie."
| Just a fan chapter 10 . 3/9/2013
Not a review, but a need to address the complaints to a simpering brat who sees fit to flash-fry your story.
Shut the fuck up, you mewling pissant.
This is HIS story, not yours. You think he should modify the story to suit YOUR perception on what should've happened when most of his other reviews have told him that they like the direction for the most part? True, there are some plotholes, but hardly anything that requires a retroactive rewrite.
You do NOT tell him what to write. You ADVISE. Learn the fucking difference about your role as a reviewer. You are not his fucking editor. Hell, you don't even a freaking PAGE.
And learn to punctuate and spell properly before you criticize someone about their writing. You write like an idiot fresh off of Twitter. This is a site that practices the art of literacy, so use the words in the format that you learned when you were still in second grade English Class.
And Ichigo being Shirou DOES change everything, jackass. Ichigo, unlike Shirou, is not a complete human. It can easily be explained that Ichigo could maintain some semblance of his former self thanks to his half-shinigami heritage to prevent Angra Mainyu's curse from wiping away his sense of identity, which is why he is not as distorted as Shirou. Ichigo also lacks that complete lack of self worth that allows him to identify himself a thing i.e. a sword. Hence, Unlimited Bladeworks would be inaccessible to him because he lacks that alien perception about himself. There is NO absolute rule in Fate/Stay Night that says it can't be possible. That's the wonderful flexibilty that comes with crossovers; rules become malleable. Especially when this is a fusion of the worlds, rather than a meeting of universes with differing laws and cosmology. One world's rules do not acquiesce to the other. Understood?
And Ichigo/Shirou does not need Unlimited Bladeworks with the current powerset he has working for him. We have enough "Shirou is broken badass who curbstomps the competition with contemptuous ease" stories already. It gets old and stale pretty fast. It's good to read a story where he is powerful and can fight against other Servants without wankage. And if he progresses as far as Ichigo does in canon in terms of power, it's unnecessary.
As for your bitching about the Hollow mask, read the fucking chapter again carefully. Ichigo/Shirou DIED during the fire and was overwhelmed by despair. Now think: What are the two prerequisite conditions that cause you to become a Hollow? Kiritsugu brought him back from the brink with Avalon, which consequently left him with a dormant Inner Hollow until that awoke once Zangetsu was invoked. It is not the huge, blasphemous plot hole that you make it out to be.
Gilgamesh is the only legitimate complaint in your rant. Ichigo should've been able to harm in his fight given how he was able to wound Berseker and would've been fast enough to skewer him since Gilgamesh was never particularly good in close-quarters combat. Whether the author bumped Gil's stats to make him more than a remote challenge to Ichigo or did this as a way to create suspense in open to interpretation.
In any case, chill out and wait to see where he goes with this fanfic before you suggest that he hit the restart button.
| Guest chapter 10 . 3/9/2013
NOT A FLAME NOT A FLAME NOT A FLAME NOT A FLAME NOT A FLAME NOT A FLAME
EPIC FUCKING FAIL
For one you royally screwed up the fucking power scale. YES its true that Gilgameash Ea is a ex world destroyer class weapon and its also true that his ekudan can bind even the STRONGEST of divinity but if Zangetsu can take a number of Berserker S LIVES then he Can DAMN FUCKING WELL PUT A FUCKING GETSUGA TENSHO THROUGH HISFUCKING ARMOR.
Another of your fucking screw up is the fact that you have the gale to give him a fucking mask For NO REASON AT ALL. That came out of absolutely no where. He has NOT met any if the requirements to obtain one.
Last but certainly not least Shirou Emiya well always be who he fucking is Ichigo our not he walked throuh a fuckin fire STORM at ground zero. Ad that zangetsu is a sword and he was guaranteed to have unlimited blade works . You may not like it but because of Ichigo s tragedy and kiritsugu reaction he well always always always be distorted. Warped. INHUMAN. I CAN accepted him having both and you KNOW every other reader can. Accept him having both soul sword and reality marble as well.
As you said yourself this was ONLY a test run to see if people could get hooked. And obviously we have. You have made many many mistakes and it is now time fire you to correct them.
| Bucio chapter 10 . 3/4/2013
That was good and interesting this chapter, then so is a complex relationship between Saber and Ichigo, that if Hollow Ichigo appears, comes also Alter ?
(He called her his Queen)
By the way, I wonder if at Emiya interact with Hollow Ichigo, will trigger something else in him, because you've already shown before that had a kind of resonance between Ichigo and Archer, what would happen because UBW can be considered as the inner world of Archer and fighting the Hollow who is also part of the soul of Ichigo (another inner world), something would have to happen, right?
Also I found something manipulative to Rider, as she uses the love that have Rin for their little sister to kill Ichigo, because is obvious, while Sakura just wants to kill Saber, Rider and Rin want to kill him.
Rin for his alleged deception (and her own crush), and Rider for whatever reason he hates the Shinigami, which , by the way , sent "a clown" to investigate the situation in Fuyuki city
I hope the next chapter comes out soon to see how it will end the "literally" fight between powerful adversaries (Rin does not know the problem she got - and see if she and Ichigo can clarify things between them thereafter).
Good luck and keep it up
| Ma1a1 chapter 10 . 3/4/2013
Hollow Ichigo's dragon mutation seems a bit to fast for me... He didn't hollowfy this fully until his vaizard training, so I'm a bit skeptical as to why it appears now. Nonetheless, I'm sure you have your reasons. :D
Good work and update soon.
| UNTensaZangetsu chapter 10 . 3/3/2013
This was an interesting chapter.
I really enjoyed the appearance of Saber Alter and Hollow Ichirou. I am glad that you went with the dragon form instead of a lizard form for Ichirou’s Full Hollow form due to Saber’s influence. Is the dragon element only cosmetic, or has Hollow Ichirou gained the abilities of Nasuverse dragons, such as the dragon core which generates energy independent from her body simply through breathing like dragons or high-level Magic Resistance? Shinigami breaking spells through greater reiatsu is less like Magic Resistance and more like Caster’s Resistance. She can disrupt even completed spells due to her absurd amount of prana and because the structure of modern Magecraft’s spells are far inferior to those of her time. Caster negating modern magecraft spells as while something "solid" like completed spells cannot normally be overcome by a "liquid" such as prana, Caster compares modern magecraft to mud buildings that, while solid, can easily be washed away by the violent water current of her superior spells. Magic Resistance is different from the Resistance effect that merely rejects prana, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
However, one major flaw that really ruins the ability to enjoy is the power level discrepancies. Rin and Archer shouldn’t be able to take on Ichirou and Saber at all or force them back the way they have in this fic. You could explain Archer keeping up by saying that the soul resonance with Ichirou has allowed him to regain reiatsu which would give him the boost he needs, but Rin has no excuse. Ichirou should have been able to knock Rin unconscious in seconds.
It is pretty interesting how Archer is drawing parallels between Dark Sakura and Hollow Ichirou. It was a good way to give him a legitimate reason to want to fight Ichirou now.
I wonder how the appearance of UBW and the soul resonance will affect Ichirou. You already mentioned the soul resonance when Archer was chanting. Of course, soul resonance works both ways. Ichirou’s Hollow powers have affected Saber, I wonder if they could affect Archer as well.
I wonder how Gilgamesh will react to Saber Alter now. This could be bad. In Fate/Unlimited Codes, Gilgamesh loses interest in Saber after she becomes Saber Alter as he wanted to be the one to corrupt her and once she allowed someone else to do so, she ceased to be considered a treasure to him. In F/UC, Gil tells Saber Alter, “I have no use for someone like you who has lost sight of their ideals. You shall be swallowed up by the darkness that you yourself created.” In this story, Gil could easily decide to stop holding back and then they would be screwed.
Still, I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Your idea about Shirou summoning Kiritsugu as a Servant is pretty interesting. I am curious what abilities he would have as a Servant. The legend of the Magus Killer could give abilities as a Heroic Spirit that he didn’t have in life.
| Reishin Amara chapter 10 . 3/1/2013
ohhhhhh...riders hate of the course...
| Gundam Kaiser chapter 10 . 3/1/2013
I'm gonna have to say that I'm with Rin and Sakura on the one. Not to the point of killing Shirou, but I think he definitely needs to receive a definitive butt-kicking. And as much as I'm not a fan of Archer, here's hoping he's up to the job.
Go forth, fallen Emiya, and avenge poor Sakura!
| Asasininja4827 chapter 10 . 2/26/2013
Mother of God man, shit just hit the fan.
I honestly cannot wait until you upload the next chapter, the tension is indeed palpable, kudos to you for making such an engaging and engrossing piece of crossover. Like I said before, I can't wait to see what other 'crazy' ideas you'll be translating from your brain to the keyboard.
On to a more serious review of this chapter itself:
Grammar, Syntax and Mechanics: 9.5/10
It is fortunate really, that you have maintained a very consistent and fluid writing style. Your transitional phrases and sentence shifts have a solid flow, a bit of an oxymoron if I do say so myself, and I see that you have generally kept a third person - omniscient point-of-view throughout the story. That's good, writers often shift they're point-of-view without specifying the antecedent their words modify. However, some parts of this chapter, a couple sentences rally, are a tad bit choppy and could best be edited via semi-colon to preserve flow. But evaluating your work as a whole, this is a just a minor, if unintentionally, churlish concern. Regardless, a quick, and I mean quick, polish should smooth out those glaring sentences (I find reading what I wrote out loud, after reading backwards to remove the mental constraints formed when writing the piece, helps immensely).
In-Characterness and Canonical Consistency: 9/10
While I find the dynamics between the Saber and Ichigo's relationship to be a bit fast-paced (something I actually criticized in the Fate route of the visual novel), I can hardly fault you for adhering, mostly, to the pre-established canon, or canons in the case of Fate Stay/Night; this is something many authors neglect, for favor of taking the easier road of rampant out-of-characterness. As such, I'm glad you've followed the "Road not Taken."
As an IchiRuki fan myself, I find the romantic-nature and aggressiveness of the Ichigo towards Saber follows an interesting parallel to the Ichigo-Rukia relationship I've read many times, so questioning the validity of its application on a character (Ichigo) who obviously hasn't "got[ten] some" is a moot point. SaberxIchigo is a crack pairing anyways, so Y.O.L.O right?
Either way, Shirou and Ichigo similar miens when it comes to the protection of innocents, so it isn't much of a stretch to apply this same psyche to Saber and Ichigo. Nonetheless, this is a really fascinating pairing you have crafted, good job.
Over all, I rate this chapter 9.5/10.
PS: I am curious, will Ichigo's 'ponos' be "j-j-jamming it[self] in[to]" Saber's 'vagoo' anytime soon; or will maintain a 'T' rating for this story? ;P
Hope you'll be updating this story soon, as always, I'll be waiting to read more...hopefully on a day when I'm bored and have nothing to do. ;P