Reviews for Harry Potter and The League of Shadows: Rewritten
sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 1 . 4/4
Really? Good Voldemort? Extremely mind-boggling.
Lennart66 chapter 1 . 3/29
Nice already read things we'd do and it's good so far really looking forward to how this will turn out
Good luck
Lennart
amata0221 chapter 1 . 3/27
Thank you for rewriting the story.
Guest chapter 3 . 3/26
I take it back. I won't read further. Its bad.
Guest chapter 2 . 3/26
Such great potential. And most of it ruined because nothing says "for the good of magical Britiain" like killing an innocent woman and trying to do the same to her son. Voldemort is insane, I understand, that's why its acceptable for him to do so.

Howevern you tried to convinse, us, your readers, that Lily, Sirius and Remus joined the Dark Lord because they saw and agreed that his idea had merit. That means that whatever means are employed by Death Eaters are justifying the ends. Its obvious you are making most characters AU, yet it makes no sense why they would agree to follow Voldemort unless they are completly insane like Bellatrix Lestrange, believe in pureblood supremacy and take sick pleasure in their own misguided superiority.

Killing and torturing muggles, muggleborn is for the greater good after all, I am sure. Nevermind that the Dark Lord is a master of Legilimency (spelling?) and could have pulled the necessary information if needed (depends the route you want to take here).

Voldemort torturing Julia and trying to kill a magical child is obviously "ok" as well, because she is a wife of James Potter and that means she deserves it.

No sane person, not to mention a mother with her 2 year old son in her arms would condone torturing another woman (that seems innocent until proven guilty) and killing that woman and the woman's son.

That right there, in my opinion, is bad writing and a terrible execution of the plot that had such a great potential to be explored.

A better ideia would be making Voldemort not a such Dark Lord. He could be a political figure or an obvious "hand" pushing behind the scenes. Not a mass murderer on rampage that only cares about power and dominating "lesser beings". Magic is might. That way his pureblood campaign would have some merit.

He is a revolutionary and like any other revolutionary he is a mass murderer (most of them were). Yet, by making him less insane and not just a bipolar killer you would have more captivating plot where you don't kill every person that stands against him.

Rant over.

This is just my opinion and am being too emotional while writing this. Yet I still stand by what I wrote.

Great potential, terrible execution.

Still, I will force myself to finish reading this story, since this is just a first chapter. And 1 chapter does not make the whole fiction. Yet it feels like it, due to the directions you've taken with your characters so far.

:)
Mighty Pen 20 chapter 4 . 3/6
I'll give you points for your original concepts. False bwl on purpose, Riddle's fake death, canon good guys on the dark side with sufficient explanation. Really nicely done.

But in this chapter everything just felt wrong. The first part, which was the summary of Harry ( Orion's ? ) life during the timeskip was dull. I know you felt it had to be done, but let's face it; summaries always tend to be boring, especially if we read about things we were already expecting pretty much. The longer it is, the worse it gets.

Secondly, from the moment you made him step in Gringotts, I had that blasted deja vu and really really hoped I was wrong. But damn, you did it. In a few words, you gave him too many powerups, rare familiars, and artifacts, too fast. I am really curious, are you actually going to make use of all those things in the story? And if you do, how will you avoid the super! hero plowing through everything in his path with less than minimal resistance? ( And you have started doing that already; Voldemorts attacks with powerful spells, Harry lifts his hand and shields. Come on... )

Will check a few more chapters, in hopes that the inheritance cliche was a fluke, although evidence points to the contrary.
Guest chapter 12 . 12/25/2014
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
Please update!
ethancameron20 chapter 10 . 11/28/2014
I find it interesting to find the fact that I feel as if I have read this fic before. Oh wait. I have. Large sections of this have been taken from the fic "The Son of Lord Voldemort". So I'd like to know why you're taking some other person fic. Thank you.
AgorasDarkfire chapter 4 . 11/26/2014
I must say that you're a really good writer but ill be honest with you. Your naming skills suck! Sorry to put it so bluntly but you really overuse that whole twilight thing. Twilight magest and Phoenix sure . But come on! Twilight dragons, twilight robes, twilight armor, twilight cape ( by the way dragons don't have fur)-its really overkill. Same for atlantian, you don't even have to use that word, just twilight is completely enough. And that necklace called the twelve diamonds of antlantis is completely uneseceary . You could just say it was a beautiful necklace with twelve diamonds it doesn't have to be called anything if you can' make up a good name.
Guest chapter 7 . 8/10/2014
Um the correct spelling for potions I'd potions
Lennart66 chapter 12 . 5/22/2014
aww sooo good please continue 33333
Fr0stRa1n chapter 12 . 5/11/2014
update please!
DarkPirateKing69 chapter 4 . 4/19/2014
and this is where i stop, unfortunately.. i've never been a fan of stories where Harry gets a bucketful of inheritances and magical power ups. it says 'gradually powerful', but.. well, it's really up to personal opinion what people think about the word 'gradual', but this is definitely insn't the definition of the word as far as i'm concerned.

it's a shame to drop this, but not a huge loss overall. HP/DG is popular enough that you can find new ones fairly easily. here is few reviews for your troubles anyway, ciao.
DarkPirateKing69 chapter 2 . 4/19/2014
well, hopefully you aren't implying that Harry (i will call him that) will become enemies with Tom. i mean, the way you emphasized how he was unnerved by the green eyes of Harry.. well, maybe i'm just overreacting, but that's the initial feeling i got from it.

this is a refreshingly unique set-up that is a dying breed nowadays.
DarkPirateKing69 chapter 1 . 4/19/2014
when you have either Daphne or Fleur as a main pairing, i can hardly resist.. and with both of them.. i'm totally sold. now i just have to assume that you wouldn't have continued to write such long chapters with poor grammar.. at least not without people telling you about it. well, just gotta wait and see. summary was interesting, even without the part about HP/DG/FD, so i would have at least checked this out anyway.
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