|Reviews for Oracle and her Guardian|
| Concerned chapter 6 . 11/20/2012
Good story. Strange sentence structure and word usage. Minor spelling errors and tense issues. Overall good quality. Look forward to the next.
| Hawx chapter 1 . 8/22/2012
Wow, Arky. Really great work you have here. I like the background details of the story, and how you describe the characters. I can see how this can keep building up with identities and the relationships of Kaiko and Mikuo. I love it! Great job, Arky. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. :D
| japaneserockergirl chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
Well, I do love me a good Mikuo x Kaiko fanfic! They're incredibly rare, you know!
It seems like an interesting premise, even though the theme of 'prophecies and chosen ones' is rather common. But I have a few suggestions, if you don't mind?
For one thing, I feel as though things are little...rushed. It would be better if you eased into the situation a bit more slowly-portray a day in the life of the village first, then get to the excitement. Allow the readers to get a feel of the characters and how they interact in this familiar environment before it is taken away from them. That way, we can get a sort of before-and-after effect as they change and grow throughout the story.
Also, I felt as though there was more 'telling' than 'showing'. Instead of putting all the valuable information at once, try to spread it out a little more, lead into it bit by bit.
In addition, it would also help to describe the setting some more; try using your senses (mainly sight, hearing, and occassionally smell, taste, and touch-the last two are very rarely used, though) when describing things. It'll make for more vivid scenery.
I hope that I'm not discouraging you with my words; in fact, I wish to do the opposite: I really do want to help and see more of this interesting story!
Please keep writing and update soon!