|Reviews for A Rider's Frustration|
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/1/2014
you know, that's actually quite ironic... first time i rode, i mounted fine, second time- fine, third time my coach gave me a leg-up, went up too fast, wasn't really expecting the speed, misjudged my distances and nearly went off the other side thank God it was a patient horse!
Good short story update soon
| Mysteriously Epic chapter 3 . 9/30/2012
This is so funny! I was laughing so hard my ribs hurt now!
| S1lv3r3agl3 chapter 3 . 9/30/2012
I've never seen this before but it would probably be very funny, except for the person! Keep updating please! This is only story like this!... That sounded weird! Oh well!
| SeekerMaxia chapter 3 . 9/28/2012
Yay you updated :D Another good chapter, there were a few grammatical mistakes. I loved the bit where Will repeatedly fails to mount Tug - even with Halt's help. I would love to read the extra bit you have written, so can you send it to me please :)
| flaminglake chapter 2 . 8/29/2012
Haha, this is so original! I love Halt in this so much- his 'forty' 'sixty' sit up thing and the little scene with him and his empty coffee mug hearing Will yell his name. I can't believe english is your third language! It's my first (and only) and I can't write it any better than you! Awesome job, there's so much in there that I can say I like and nothing at all that I don't like.
| S1lv3r3agl3 chapter 2 . 8/25/2012
Ha ha! I'm a horse rider myself and I've seriously seen this happen before (only once and obviously without halt and his punishment)! Great chapter all round! Keep going!
| SeekerMaxia chapter 2 . 8/24/2012
I can honestly say I was laughing all the way through this! :D I love Will in this - he's in character especially at this part of the apprenticeship. Going off on a tangent here, but it's weird rereading the series as book 1 Will is so young and different from book 10 Will - gotta love character development.
There are some tensing issues - you keep alternating between present and past tense. For stories such using 3rd person narration such as this one, it's best to keep everything in the past tense, and it tends to be easier writing in the past tense too!
Just an example: "The apprentice had finished all household work in admirable time and fashion and is now left feeling exhausted..." This sentence switches its tense part way through, so instead of "...and is now left..." it would be better as "and was now left...". I hope that's clear. Also, It may help to read your writing aloud, it's easier to find mistakes that way - a trick I use when writing essays. I hope I'm not sounding too harsh here. If you sort this out I think you're onto a winner of a story :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
Being a rider who fell off horses many, MANY times myself...i really like a good story of Will getting kicked of by Tug :p
| SeekerMaxia chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
I'm feeling nice, so I'll give you a review :)
It's a good start, and I like the idea of it. I do agree that it is a bit unbelievable that Will could ride Tug straight away. Last time I rode a pony, it took me 2 attempts to mount, and quite a while before I felt comfortable sitting on top of a living creature! I was given a crash course on how to trot - I was told what to do, then went straight into doing it, which was daunting. If I had to jump - that would have scared the living daylight out of me!
Also, in Book 1, it's mentioned that Will spends time with Tug to help them bond, but it's not shown in the book, only mentioned in one sentence - so it's great to see someone writing about this process.
I look forward to reading the next chapter :)