Reviews for The Shallow Grave of Secret Longing
Elanshaw chapter 39 . 8/20/2014
I'm going to add to your hundreds of well deserved reviews to let you know that you did such an awesome job with this story.
I was shaking my head a lot as I read it because it went beyond fan fiction into something more..
Something awesome.
Loved it very much.
You should be very proud of this work of yours.
Thank you for posting.
Nadamalki chapter 39 . 7/25/2014
This is probably one of the best, if not the best, story I've read on . I'm more into Supernatural stories, but I pretty much ran out of stories to read and decided it to hit it with other TV Shows, Hawaii Five-0 came up, and I feel so damn lucky to have bumped into your story.
Your material is that of a publisher's quality. It's flawless in every sense of the word. The plot is gripping, the scripts are intriguing, the characters are spot on, the whole thing was just perfect I seriously forgot I was reading a fanfiction and not some Best Sellar on Amazon! Have you ever considered publishing stories as a real job? You have the skills, I swear it!
I read the whole story in one go on a weekend, I think it'll take me a while to get over it. The emotions you piled on Steve were just so raw and infectious. I have no idea how you managed to string the whole story around those emotions, what a story... what a story. I can't even call it fanfiction anymore, its just too good.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 22 . 7/9/2014
I regret everything I said about Steve in that last chapter now. *whimpers* I want old Steve back! Him in a button-down that does not include black dress pants over brown boots should be forbidden (and, yes, I noticed he did that a couple times in season one. Don't judge me...).

Kamekona is a wise man. And I love how you've brought in the extended ohana to help. The more the merrier!

*glares at author* Kip's gonna make me cry isn't she? Woman, this better not turn into a competition between her and McGarrett as to who's going to break me first.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 21 . 7/9/2014
Seriously, I cannot stress enough how much I want Danny and Kip to meet right now. In fact, I would probably pay as much as Danny would to get her on the Five-0 payroll as a nurse or something. Because they are mutually fantastic.

Now to Steve. Don't run you...*throws hands in the air in futile gesture* That's it. I'm done. I'm out of nice things ti say and I would very much like to see any member of the Ohana give that man a swift kick in the ads...followed by a hug. Idiot.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 20 . 6/29/2014
First, OMG! I want Kip as my grandmother or something! That woman is an absolute, firery de-light!

Second. Hmm. What job in civilian life could Steve possibly do that would employ his particular set of skills? Oh, I know. How about being the head of Five-0 again?

*sigh* At least it's nice to see the McGarrett we all know (a.k.a. the brash idiot getting himself stuck in situations he should know better than) is still in there, provided he's in the right frame of mind. We just have to figure out how to make those windows of time last.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 19 . 6/27/2014
Bad plan again! Bad plan again!

Whoever these bitter, unhappy people at the end are; I would highly recommend they not mess with Steve. It would be a worse than bad idea.

Aw, poor Kono, though. Danny, stop people choke on their gum! It's not polite! Hmm. Now I really want them to buy the watch.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 18 . 6/26/2014
Seriously. Trouble is a cute, little, yapping, Labrador puppy that follows at Steve's heels because it's got nothing else better to do. Can the man not catch a break?!

That said, I think I am going to really like Kip. She's sassy; and, since the dummy ran off without his back-up, the perfect sounding personality to deal with Steve...provided she doesn't get killed first.

*whimpers* I can't decide yet if I think Steve needs a hug or a slap upside the head or both. I'm leaning more and more towards hug, however.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 17 . 6/23/2014
Stephen J. McGarrett, get your bony ass back to your ohana this instant! AUGH! *throws hands up in exasperation*

Apparently running away is also a genetic disorder in his family...Well, hopefully the old woman will be able to break through to him. I get the feeling she's had some experience in these matters.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 16 . 6/23/2014
Shit. Shit shit shit shit.

This is not good. Not good at all. I simultaneously love this story and hate it at the same time. Mostly because I'm simultaneously on both sides of the spectrum with Steve and Danny: sad and furious.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 15 . 6/23/2014
I...I don't know how to react to this chapter.

Well, okay first, CHIN! Yay yay yay yay! Very little gets past that wonderful man! And woot for Kono! I know that hug was rough on Steve; but hopefully it'll be something we can look back on as a marker for how far he gets.

Esquivel's okay I guess. I haven't really constructed an opinion of the guy yet other than he's a shrink

Now for the last section. Am I a terrible person for being glad this happened? I mean, on one hand, my heart's breaking for both the boys and I can definitely understand where Danny's coming from at least (I can only sympathize for Steve, unfortunately). However, I feel like they needed to hit this wall. A rock-bottom base to build on, if you will. I just hope Steve is far enough from the edge he won't do something ridiculously stupid...for him.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 14 . 6/23/2014
I love kids. A little salt. A little pepper. Delicious.

Okay, yeah. That was a terrible joke; but I'm sure Danny would have approved in that particular kid's case.

*sigh* OF COURSE Caldwell gave Danny a heavy anti-psychotic in case Steve completely breaks from reality. Because there's no way in hell THAT's not going to happen. Oi vey. They just love tempting fate, don't they?

And for what feels like the millionth of the probably zillion times I will say it, poor Steve. I'm glad he got back to the the ocean; but I just wish there was a magic button to cure his guilt. That said however, if he's planning on doing what you and he seem to be hinting that he's planning on doing, any member of the ohana has my permission to resurrect his stupid SEAL ass and kick it. Again, thank goodness for Danny. The man has the patience of a saint. Your writing is spectacularly in character for him (and for Steve during his, er, "sane" mments) so Kudos.

Finally, Kamekona's sauce sounds absolutely awful!
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 13 . 6/22/2014
Because you, Danny, do not climb. You dig your heels in and wait for the walls to break themselves.

Oh, Steve, sweetie.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 12 . 6/22/2014
I like O'Mara; but clearly he and Danny suffer from a similar form of short-site when it comes to their partners. Danny is not great with the subtle and O'Mara seems to have forgotten that.

So there's a woman, her baby, an apple, and a guard; huh? Well, with Steve being Steve, I get the bad feeling it didn't end well for her.
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 11 . 6/22/2014
Oh goody.

*rubs face* Okay, next time Steve has a mental break down, Danny can be the awesome one who brings him back from the brink; but, for the love of God, he is not allowed to be the pick-up man ever again. What part of no stress was not made clear to him?! I mean, I know trouble follows these two like a puppy; but this is getting ridiculous. Oh my goodness.

Well, time to brace myself for the rough time to follow. This next chapter's gonna make me cry, isn't it?
Sci F.I. Warper chapter 10 . 6/22/2014
Here's an idea. Why don't you TELL HIM?! God. You stupid, stubborn...*grumbles*

Can I just say, I didn't think it was possible; but you made me love Danny even more. Just watching him be his usual, obnoxious self giving Steve a hard time about getting drunk brought the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. It was just so...normal in a situation that is anything but. Because Danny is made of awesome!
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