|Reviews for Gravity|
| Ryane-Foxx chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
First, I feel there is no reason for anyone to give feedback on anything other than the fact that this was beautiful. I may not studying literature for a PhD or take English courses but I know a lot about it; & this is a beautiful piece of work. I loved it :) it was deep, meaningful & just plain beautiful :) so glad you shared
| Na.Shao chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
I am so glad I stumbled across this. It's absolutely breathtaking- the way you have with words, the way you work around them. I adore this piece of writing, it's raw to its very core, and I love your characterization.
| TheEndofTag chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
Again another WOW!
I totally love everything in here. I just especially love how you changed the pov and yet the voice is still Kakashi. :D You really did a brillant job focusing on Kakashi's emotions for Iruka.
I LOVE IT!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
Oi - just a comment. You might want to move the author's note to the top. That way people can understand what you are attempting/writing/conveying before forming their own opinions of it with their usual expectations.
Most readers are familiar with the fact that introspective/head pieces jump like Joyce - even if they've never read Joyce.
| ManyVoices chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
I re-read this one and the idea is great but I can't follow it easily. I thought I'd mention that the punctuation is a bit off on this one and the other you posted the same day. If you use comma's, like these here, the information inside the comma's should be removable and leave what's left a complete sentence on its own. I can help if you have questions about punctuation.
| Cardboard Bike chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
This is a very nice piece, fraught with jagged emotion and very in-the-moment. You have a beautiful way with words, but it's not good to change from third person to second halfway through. I can see why you did; the second half would be particularly hard to write with multiple, confusing 'he's and 'him's, but still, it's quite jarring and pushes the reader out of the story so they have to find their way back in again.
Also, you should post it as complete? I assume this is a finished piece.