|Reviews for Together in France|
| Lanna chapter 9 . 12/13/2014
So Cute :3
| inuyashafan139 chapter 9 . 9/18/2014
It took me two to three days to finish reading it! It's really a wonderful story! I like to read finished work then reading undone works, cus I hate to wait. I get to excited for the next and it kills me everytime! Really love this story! They are soo cute! Really want to read how Harry will do it on Draco!
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 9 . 7/28/2014
Hmm all those declarations of 'I've loved you since Hogwarts' just makes this ending seem too fantastical and dreamy! It just knocks the rest of the story off-kilter, too lovey-dovey for the angst that was in this story.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 8 . 7/28/2014
This chapter needs major revision; you've stated that Harry is getting cutlery and plates ready to dish up more food for Draco, and then all of a sudden he's shocked because Draco is still there? It's literally like two different universes colliding.
Also, there's far too much short tempers here; Harry suddenly doing a personality 180 and spitting at Draco when he says the evening was '"wonderful'". If anything, you could have written it as, Harry being sarcastic, or snorting with disbelief, but all these exclamation marks and spitting and snarling -they might as well be too rabid dogs. Also, Ron's sudden outburst seems out of place considering that they're all meant to be 'grown ups' and both he and his sister work / see Malfoy regularly.
I think you just need a beta to go over this and then repost it. I know english isn't your main language but some of the sentences just seem like two different scenario's jammed together and it disrupts the flow a lot. This story has so much potential, it just needs some polishing up.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 7 . 7/28/2014
Ginny has a pretty baseless assumption for why Draco would be in love with a french girl.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 6 . 7/28/2014
Ahh! I really enjoyed the kinky kissing session in the barn ;) that was a nice little twist there
Where Draco is confronting Harry, it seems a bit off that Harry's playing thick, since he knows exactly what he's talking about. Also, angriness isn't a word. I think you just meant to say, 'anger filling his deep voice'.
The word 'freshman' sort of sticks out like a sore thumb. I think yo should change it to 'he felt like a first year' since a) British people don't say freshmen, senior etc. and b) they didn't go to a normal school anyway.
Also, right near the end, you said that 'Draco looked up into Potter's grey orbs-', which is an easy correction.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 5 . 7/28/2014
I enjoyed this chapter and I knew there would be some muddiness at some point!
A Few pointers:
When you were saying that as far as Harry knew that Ginny and Seamus were together, I think you can just erase that, as in the previous chapter you stated that they were engaged to be married.
When Harry goes into the shower, a lot of that sentence doesn't make sense. It should be "he removed his boxers [or whatever he was wearing]. I'm not sure what you meant by 'swollen limp' either :/ Also I got a little confused. At first you said Draco had completely changed into fresh clothes, so why would he do that and then go and take a shower? It seems redundant. It's also sort of bugging me that all Draco can do is sneer, when Harry is being nothing but nice to him at the moment.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 4 . 7/28/2014
Great chapter, the only mistake really was when you were talking about Hermione's hair for her wedding. I think you meant to say, "Her hair was styled so elegantly, like when she had gone to the Yule ball."
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 3 . 7/28/2014
Great chapter. I wonder if Draco is going to fall down in the pig trough.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 2 . 7/28/2014
Poor Draco! That must be so humiliating to happen.
| Belle A Lestrange chapter 1 . 7/28/2014
Funny first chapter. Nicely paced. A few grammar mistakes here and there but other than that I can't wait to read the rest!
| InkedBaby chapter 9 . 5/6/2014
This is nice, very cute. They act and talk like their 14 years olds though, not adults. You could use some work on continuity, originally Harry knew Draco was head aurur, then he got mad because he didnt know. You also use the word stuff a lot, which ive always learned is never to be used in writing so i guess it just sticks out to me. I dont know, i feel like this is just a bit young sounding. Like i said, this is really cute, though.
| Silverstar1219 chapter 9 . 4/7/2014
Aww that was a sweet little story.
| Drarry4eva chapter 9 . 1/19/2014
Great story, really it is. But it just made me so mad that Harry couldn't tell Ron to back off or to tell him not to barge in on him at home. Why are all your stories like that with Ron acting like a total dick. Amazing story though.
| Sakihinata chapter 9 . 12/7/2013
wow, that was cute and hot at the same time ;)