|Reviews for Universal|
| Dragonmaster870 chapter 20 . 1/31
*sniff* Why does it have to be over? The ending's so happy it's sad...
| The GAR chapter 20 . 12/24/2013
BRAVO BRAVO ENCORE!
The GREAT ANONYMOUS REVIEWER says, "Congratulations on completing Universal!" It's not easy making a cohesive, epic story, nor is it easy ending it. Infinite praises to you.
I am tempted to ask, but... I mustn't! This is your time of celebration, I have no right demanding sequels!
eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrRRRRAAAAGGHHH! Forgive me!
Would you ever consider doing an AU where Sayaka and Co. interfere with Rebellion? Just to point out how stupid it was? Or maybe a what-if AU where Sayaka goes back to the old world, and has to keep her power a secret from the Kyubey and Homura, or she won't find a way back home because Madoka can't find her and bring her back to her own universe?
I just have so many plot bunnies running around in my head! That's what good stories do! They multiply! And you've given us a world that is both overpowered and yet so far from God-Mode Sue I can't even describe it. In fact, the greatest part of this fic was when Sayaka and the readers try to wrap our heads around concepts like nothingness, infinity, eternity, and omniscience. What is a god? How do you describe a god? These moments made the story feel like it was greater than the words it was written in, and I want to see that same attitude applied to other works. Heck, you could make some great crossovers with Sayaka and Janev beating up Mass Effect's Reapers, or Halo's Covenant, spreading Madoka's message of HOPE around the galaxy.
Thanks for the good times, and I hope to see more of your work soon! Keep plugging away on that keyboard, Shadow's Forge! PEACE!
"I don't flame, I bitterly critique." - The GAR
| Dragonmaster870 chapter 2 . 12/15/2013
Hmm...Yep, I get the feeling this is something I'm going to read obsessively.
| Sergio Turbo chapter 19 . 11/17/2013
Great chapter. Kyoko's first-person narration is even better than Sayaka's, and that was already awesome.
Also, thank you for writing an HomuMado scene. After watching the third movie, I really needed to read something like this.
| The GAR chapter 18 . 10/22/2013
The GREAT ANONYMOUS REVIEWER is ashamed to admit that when he first saw this story, he dismissed it as a lost cause. The first chapter held names and titles that had no meaning, and the second explained less than the first. Just as the Mass Effect/Halo section is known for its timelines, this fic seemed doomed to be nothing more than a pointless info dump lost to time.
I have never been so proud to be proven beyond f*cking wrong.
Maybe it was because I still hadn't let the full scope of episode 12 sink in. Maybe it was because I was still on an anti-OC kick that week after some particularly bad reading choices in the Harry Potter section. But you've gone beyond my expectations and delivered a fic that, while not perfect, seeks to put pure concepts to words that in anyone else's hands would fall flat.
Just the way you attempt to portray who or what an Existence is, and how omnipresence, omnipotence, and omniscience would work, blows me away. Once I could understand the setting and characters, the technical stuff became fun to read and to think about. Portraying gods as, well, GODS is no easy task, and the few that do either make them so powerful that they serve no purpose to the plot or the characters, or have to be nerfed in some way in order to be, well, a CHARACTER. So bravo for keeping Madoka in character, while still turning her into a metaphysical concept.
If I had to choose some things to complain about, it's the beginning and ending. The "Glossary and Dramatis Personae" is confusing, boring, and a turn off. Character sheets don't make characters. Stories about characters make characters...I should write that one down, it'll help when I trek through the time travel AUs... Ahem! You do this perfectly...in the following chapters. Lose the overly pretentious God Encyclopedia, or move it to the end of the Prologue or Chapter 1 so we actually know what's going on before getting an info dump. Most of them aren't introduced until Chapter 7, anyway, which is, naturally, where we should learn about them first.
The second complaint? This chapter seemed...rushed. I know Sayaka says that she can't tell if they had been fighting for days or weeks, which is supposed to be an indicator of time passing, but the sentence itself took 2 seconds to read. It doesn't FEEL like they've been fighting for a long time, the Nothingness was only introduced...4 chapters ago? Really? Huh...shows what I know. Still feels rushed.
It's the same thing when a writer types out 2-3 paragraphs of beautifully choreographed battle scene, and then states, "all of this happened in 5 seconds."
Really? Then why did it take me 5 MINUTES to read it?! I know it's supposed to emphasize their speed and how powerful they are, but it still pisses me off! Here I am, imagining Sayaka, being a total badass, kicking ass with kicks and flips and turns...and then someone pokes a hole in my daydream and says, "Nah, that's wrong. Ya gotta speed it up a little." Hahaha NO.
Okay, rant over. You can go back to creating the greatest Puella Magi fanfic ever that isn't a hundreds-of-thousands-words-long space opera. Which I will never read, because the first chapter is boring as sh*t. I never thought you could have too much world-building, but damn. Hieronym is freaking insane.
Keep plugging away, Forge! PEACE!
"I don't flame, I bitterly critique." - The GAR
| Sergio Turbo chapter 18 . 10/20/2013
Not sure I understool all the stuff going on here, but it was awesome. I also love your rendition of Sayaka, I usually don't like first-person fics but Sayaka's thoughts are... uhm, not sure I can find the right word. Funny? Awesome? Something like that.
Great job here, keep it up!
| anonymous chapter 17 . 9/16/2013
you deserve more reviews because this is awesome!
facing the darkness in yourself is always challenging...and makes for a great read.
| AKAAkira again chapter 17 . 9/16/2013
Uh, my bad, "worst" is apparently an adjective too... But the point still stands, it should be "worst".
| AKAAkira chapter 17 . 9/16/2013
The saying's actually, "Give me your worst". "Worse" is an adjective. Bit awkward there.
But otherwise - wow, you're going really strong still. That trip through Regret Alley for Sayaka was nicely rendered, and culminated into a really sweet moment of resolve.
| Marine3950 chapter 15 . 7/16/2013
I read fifteen chapters to get THAT? A cliffhanger ending? Dang it!
| 00 chapter 15 . 7/13/2013
Looks like next chapter going to be Sayaka vs Oktavia.
| kaito136 chapter 14 . 7/6/2013
FINALLY. argh after so long I finally have the time to read this chapter!
And oh gosh. o_o this is complicated. Seems like someone messed up all the wishes or the universe. Geez now we know what they're waiting for, I can't wait to see how they're gonna handle it.
keep updating yeah. I'm always here reading!
| TsukixnoEvernight chapter 14 . 6/18/2013
Did you stop because of no more reviews? D: This is awesome! Seriously, and your sweet touches of romance... c: Really nice there. The personality you portray for the cast is amazing: quirky Sayaka, hotheaded Kyouko, wary Homura, homely but careful Mami, and even Madoka as the Lady of Aspirant Radiance! I love the way how you added other Existences and explained "phenomenal cosmic power." LOL. "Nigh-omnipotence" and "omniscient" was a wonderful explanation of the Existences' abilities too. :3 And you wrote it so in Sayaka's fashion that us readers would understand it to a basic level of what's going on. :D And enough to be able to read on. Quite a nice tap of imagery too; I was able to vividly imagine your descriptions of the monsters! xDDD Especially when you first described the Lord of Unsung Sorrow and the Lady of Infinite Helix. (Did I get the Lady right? It's still difficult to strangle my mind for the words. xD) All in all, a wonderful, hilarious, sweet, and action-packed fanfiction that really, really needs to continue. I sincerely hope you do! :3 I'll be kindly and patiently awaiting for that thirteenth chapter!
| Taeniaea chapter 14 . 6/14/2013
| kaito136 chapter 13 . 5/12/2013
The end of another chapter. Oh man. Gotta wait again.