|Reviews for Porcupine Love|
| First Movement chapter 1 . 7/27/2013
This story is simply awesome! I'm not really reading Triela - Pinocchio story, but this story hook me up! I thought first how the characters could be fit in with the plot, but it turned out to be amazing, the character was just perfect! Great work :)
| lastarbiter chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
Cool one shot. Really awesome concept. Good character portrayal.
| kami kyuubi sama chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
What cruel monster writes such a great fic and only makes it a one shot.
| Dessel Ordo chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Interesting little fic. Enjoyed it quite a lot.
| Kuroi-Yasha chapter 1 . 2/6/2013
This story is nothing short of amazing. Short and sweet, but masterfully told in a way that keeps both characters true to themselves. A chance encounter led two people destined to kill one another into each others arms instead. And though the passion was short lived, perhaps it was the most alive either of these two characters ever felt? Such a deliciously forbidden pairing and to have it written so well was a joy to read. So, thank you for such a wonderful read.
| YukiNoSamurai chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Awesome story! Totally cool Pino and Treila with a hint of darkness. I really liked the way this was written, and although it wasn't very long it was very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
| LunarLand chapter 1 . 12/23/2012
Oh, so many feels. I love it. It's amazing. I think you did a great job writing about them both. It was in character and very interesting to read. Ugh. Now I want more. If I could rate this one-shot, I'd rate it 4/5. Not 5/5 because it needs to be continued! I just want mor snow! It's really, REALLY good.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
This is the story I like. That relationship between enemies just adds such depth to a story. A depth that you have managed very well. Good job.
| taerkitty chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
Summary and Title: fitting and strong. The summary combined with the listing of canon characters involved made me go, "What the..." immediately followed by, "Of course!" They are very much yin and yang, and their paths cross far more than any other pair of Padina / SWA characters.
Opening: Jumps right to the (post-)action. It's a bit cliched, but works for the characters involved. However, when combined with the summary, it leaves an odd taste: the summary asks a compelling question, and the introductory paragraph immediately answers it.
"I don't have a soul." Very nice!
Real opening: after the glimpse of the happy(?) couple, we see how it came about. This one is strong, with a fantastic sense of place and culture.
"She'd" and "he'd." I'm guessing these are short for "she had" and "he had", but those are words that get marked in red in most writing classes. I would drop the "had", contraction or not.
"She'd drawn her 230". My personal view is that fanfic is fiction first, so this isn't sufficient for non-fans, or even passing fans of the canon. "SIG 230" would be almost as short, but likely sufficient.
"Were you young once?" Should that be "weren't"? Aside from that, it's an inspired setup and situation - the Mexican Standoff turned into the "we have to pretend to be lovers" situations.
However, the "kiss and swoon" is something that bugs me. It's a dated plot turn, a trope even. Triela has always been the "older sister" / "all business" type - it's even in her clothing, a tailored suit and trenchcoat. The only time I can think of her being feminine is when she complained about menstrual cramps.
It might work if her hereunto-unknown longing for a young man's touch was foreshadowed. The wish on the bull is a possible point, or a prior conversaton with another cyborg, perhaps about her businesslike veneer.
The stand-down is equally deft, as is the repurposing of the "lover's walking embrace" as mutually enforcing the truce.
Closing line: strong, final. My one question is how long this all took - the "lover's" banter seemed to indicate a more ... lingering experience than the wham-bam-etc. that Hilshire's query would suggest. Her looking *him* over for evidence he had done something foolhardy seems the pot calling the silverware black, though. Would she realize this, and how would she react?
| skywiseskychan chapter 1 . 8/28/2012
Now this really is a mind twister of a story. It brings up all kinds of shifting emotions, hope, desire, sorrow, pitty. As you read it makes you want to somehow see a happy ending but all the while you know in your bones that it can't happen. That no matter the outcome this is a trajedy not a comedy or romance.
One bit of critisism, on this line
He had a pistol in his hand. She almost leaped before she realized it was resting in his palm and not pointing at her. "That's mine."
Because of the shifting subjects of each sentance for a moment the "speaker" becomes lost in the flow of the sentance and I actually had to reread it to make sure I had the details straight.
As simple as it may be I think putting "thats mine" on a fresh line by itself might serve as just enough of a break that the speaker would once more be clear. Or if necessary a "thats mine" she echoed his earlier words etc. etc.
| Atrile chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
Well written ... but oh god, what did you do to Triela!?
I liked it, yet at the same time I feel somewhat traumatized.
Is this a one-shot?
| Asukaforever92 chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
An interesting start though I should point out Henrietta was the one who was gang-raped, Triela was rescued from a snuff film which entitles being tortutered though I guess they're could have been sexual abuse as well.