Reviews for The Secret Marriage
CreativeGirl29 chapter 9 . 10/7/2017
Just read this in one go. A sweet but sad story and poor Scott! Your writing is really developing nicely. Well done!
Bow Echo chapter 8 . 7/8/2017
Scott as a single parent when his heart is broken, it's like he's living the life of his own father. His family will pull him through and his little one couldn't be being brought up in a better one.
PurpleBlackCat chapter 1 . 7/4/2017
The first person view is very interesting. I have read it toroughly and I must say it gets better as you go. Nice story.
akimakel chapter 7 . 5/25/2017
great story well done love it
PurpleNightwing chapter 7 . 2/19/2017
The story is great
bubzchoc chapter 7 . 2/9/2017
Great chapter
Agent Nova chapter 6 . 10/17/2016
Although this chapter is quite short, you've managed to write the whole piece without too much dialogue. It's starting to read more like a story now, and not like a script. It's good to see that you've acted on the advice of your previous reviewers.

With the help of a beta reader, to tidy up a few minor grammar niggles, this story has much potential. Your writing certainly is getting better. You've come a long way, and you should be proud.

Well done, Jo :)
bubzchoc chapter 6 . 10/13/2016
Great chapters
bubzchoc chapter 5 . 8/3/2016
Great chapter
Guest chapter 1 . 8/3/2016
I think your previous reviewer has given you sound advice. The extensive dialogue in this and other you have written tends to detract from the particular storyline and gives us no insight whatsoever into the characters. It would be lovely if you could take the time to actually 'write the story.' That way we could appreciate your take. Good luck.
Guest chapter 4 . 8/1/2016
I've been reading this for a while, and firstly, I want to congratulate you on how far you've come in your writing. You have grown from when you first started, and it shows.

One thing I think could help, though, is if you use less speech and more descriptive paragraphs. Currently, most of the story is in dialogue, and as a reader, while I know what's happening, I don't have a complete understanding as to *why*. As an example, you mentioned that Scott is feeling "so alone". Perhaps this is something to elaborate on, as a short reflection into his psyche at the time.

I don't intend for this to be flame, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. The only reason I mentioned it was because I think this story has so much potential, and it's just missing that one thing.
bubzchoc chapter 4 . 7/31/2016
bubzchoc chapter 3 . 7/23/2016
Great chapter
bubzchoc chapter 2 . 12/9/2012
AwkwardKatsudonNerd chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
Aww poor Scotty :( this made me cry! Fantastic story though!
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