|Reviews for Linfred|
| Incy Little Spider chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
HELLO SWEET THANG. IT IS I! STALKING YOU THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN! YOU SHALL NEVER BE FREE OF MEEEEE!
AHHHH LOVE IT LOVE IT LOOOOOVVVE IT, LINFRED YOU CRAZY SEXY MAN! AHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Seriously though, this is really, really cool. I love how poetic and epic it is...epic gothic love poem. It reminds me very much of Anne Rice. Anyway, you have a great flowing, poetic way of writing. It even makes ripping someone's head off seem lovely. By the end of the story, I defintetly had a big soft spot for Freddy boy. *hugs him and gets heart ripped out.* And I defintely want to know WHAT THE HELL IS HE AND WHY DOES HE HAVE AN ANIMAL SIDE THAT KILLS PEOPLE?
On the critisism side (YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU), I think sometimes you might have to read over your work a few times, because there was some missing words and spelling mistakes that took away from the reading experiance at times. And sometimes I would say "show don't tell," cause you were pretty heavy on the telling us everything that was happening, but then this is the prologue so you need to get it all out. Just slow it down sistah.
But I loved Linfred before he went to war, wandering around, getting into fights and drinking and then saying "fuck it, imma open a library." Epic cool. (I wanna live in a roof above a library goddammit.)
And I found myself really interested in the narrator. It reminds me a lot of Lemony Snicket. 8D
The climax was very intense (not like that) perfectly gruesome and scary. And it didn't seem weird Linfred becoming attatched to the girl right off the bat, which I was a bit worried about when you first told me about it, so you did a great job handling that. I loved how he was like dayyyuum nice titties! Pervy Freddy's a perv. XD
So yeah, it's very addicting, raises a lot of questions and makes us want to read more and more. The characters are really interesting and it's wonderfully gothic! However, keep on proof-reading and you don't always have to tell us everything that's going on at once. (I thought this defintely got better as it went along, as the first few paragraphs before the town killed him were very infomation-packed.)
You gotta keep writing! And I shall write as much as I can my lovah!