Reviews for Unworthy
WeasleySeeker chapter 1 . 3/15/2013
I've always thought the idea of a Squib!Black is a brilliant one, and I always like reading about Marius (even though I haven't many times). And you did a great job with this!

All the characters seemed really three-dimensional to me - first Marius, with his desperation to learn magic, and how he constantly blamed himself for it when he knows it's not really his fault. But I suppose a lot of that's due to his upbringing; he's basically been taught that Squibs are disgusting animals and it's so sad that he almost thinks that of himself sometimes. The most powerful scene for me was when he was trying out his mother's wand and got all hopeful that it might just work, but then it didn't, and the despair came back.

I thought his father was also brilliantly done. It was so sad how he punished Marius when it wasn't even Marius's fault that he couldn't do magic... but I think my favourite thing about him was that despite it being perfectly clear that Marius was a Squib, he couldn't accept it until the day the Hogwarts letter came and he knew it for sure; he couldn't accept that he'd produced one.
lowi chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
Oh, wow! This was so interesting to read - and so tragic. I felt so bad for Marius, and you definitely managed to capture his frustration and stress.

The ending really struck me; I definitely juddered at the thought.

I wonder what happened with Marius after this, if he survived...

Brilliant work!
The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
:O Poor Marius... Blacks really were a family full of bastards, weren't they? I liked this though, and I really loved how you managed to convey Marius' feelings and despair at the thought he would never be able to do magic and just how much he wanted to.
And that last line was just perfect.
Good work!
keeptheotherone chapter 1 . 3/2/2013
Well, I'm really angry at Marius's dad right now, so well done! Marius's desperation, his attempts to make it work through looking up information and trying other wands, were good demonstrations of his desire to fit in.
dragonflybeach chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
Poor Marius! This was difficult to read from the standpoint of how awful his family treated him and how badly Marius wanted to be a wizard, but unfortunately, from what we know of the Black family, it's spot on.
AmzyD chapter 1 . 9/22/2012
This is so sad, but written greatly, you can feel the emotions getting more and more tense, and its explained very well
silver-nightstorm chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
Heartbreakingly sad, but so very Black Family. Awesome job with this one! You manage to properly convey a child's hope for parental approval as well as Marius's desperate desire to fit in along with the Black's prejudices. Awesome :D
Gamma Orionis chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
This was absolutely heartbreaking - poor Marius! You did an amazing job of making us feel for him. The scene where Cassiopeia and Pollux tell him about Hogwarts was especially heart-wrenching.

One small criticism: at the beginning, you say "Marius simpered" - I think you might have meant "whimpered"... :)
The Original Horcrux chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
Oh wow this was really good and really interesting. It was different to see a Black being a squib and I think you did an excellent job with it :) You captured the Blacks rage perfectly and I really enjoyed it :) great job :)
slightlysmall chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
This is so sad. It's realistic and I love the way you wrote it. It really breaks my heart. Your prompts are tied together flawlessly and all of the characters come to life in this piece. Beautiful.
Selenehekate chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
This was such a sad piece! I love the way that you focused on a comparatively minor character within the Black family. But poor Marius at the end! His father is just so cruel to him. The last line, I've got to say, is absolutely brilliant; great job with that. No spelling or grammar errors that I can see within the piece either, so well done there. Overall, I really enjoyed this story. Nicely done!
Tammi-Stark chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Poor Marius! I actually feel really bad for him! This was well written and I didn't see many mistakes.
The Last Poison Apple chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
That was harsh. But a good piece of writing. I really felt for Marius as I read this one.
ProfessorSquirrell chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
aww poor Marius. This is a very realistic look into the Black family and how disgraceful being a Squib must have been. I feel so bad for him and this was a fascinating story on a character we don't hear anything about. Nicely done!
inkteardrops chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
I have never read a Marius Black before and I have to say that I really, really like it! I think that you have characterised the Black family incredibly well and I feel so sorry for Marius. I also like how you have portrayed his struggle with trying to find the magic within him, very well written! :)
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