|Reviews for Your Safety|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
write more please!
| SheliaLuvsWTR4EVER chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
So loved this great read. Thanks for sharing ;-)
| persevera chapter 1 . 10/3/2012
You often see stories that have a man feeling that right after a woman has been violated in some way is the perfect time to make a move. It's not that calculating on this man's part but portrayals of that scenario always bug me a little. Yours is better than a lot I've read though so maybe I'm painting this with a bigger brush than it warrants.
[he'd offered to take them to some sort of festival and she jumped on the idea.] -For continuity, there should be a had after she.
[grab her arm in a vice grip]-Correct word is vise
[Nico and her started speaking]-Her should be she.
[He could see the fear in her eyes – and the hope – and wasn't sure which had him more worried.] This was my favorite line in the story. I like the idea that he's afraid of disappointing her.
| Legendary Biologist chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
I'm not familiar with this fandom but from the actions, I can picture the characters. Nice describing! And this metaphor is excellent:
Dani's heart beat like thunder through her body
I think I noticed something strange here. This part:
Nico and her started speaking at the same time, "I need to..." "I canceled..."
This is unclear, maybe you're meaning this?
Nico and her started speaking at the same time, "I need to... I canceled..."
Then, I found a spelling error here:
Dani looked up at Nico, half-smiling in thanks before she tried to peak over his shoulder
I think it should be 'peek' instead of 'peak'.
Anyway, keep up the good job.
| Verran chapter 1 . 9/29/2012
Although I'm not familiar with any of these characters or the background I was drawn in by the tension in this scene. You set it up well, with the mention of pony heads (eewwww!) and when Nico challenges Hilo I really felt that the outcome of this story could have gone either way.
There were a few fragmented sentences throughout this piece, an example follows here: 'At the same time she couldn't help but feel how his hand had moved across her skin. Goosebumps rising as the implied message replayed through her mind like a broken record.'
Either put a comma between skin and goosebumps, or if keeping it as two sentences is preferred, then change 'rising' to 'rose'.
Otherwise, a captivating read. Thanks!
| SkywardDiamond chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
Oh damn, hotness!
This was wonderful. A different style than your other oneshot featuring this pair.
This was suspenseful and you built the tension well. The way that guy was touching her, I was like, "Oh nooo he's gonna rape her."
But yay, Nico saved the day.
As much as I like the suspense in the beginning, I like the romance in the end even more. The way he traced the exact same path on her that mr. criminal had taken to help her forget, that was just...sweet and hot all at the same time ;p And of course that kiss in the end and the way you described it was rather delicious. This is great! I certainly enjoyed this one. Nice work.
As an afterthought, I noticed there is a 'peak' that should be 'peek'. :p
| Sierraoscar154 chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
Awww. So sweet. I think I've overloaded my daily allocation of WAFF, but it was totally worth it. The beginning was tense with her captor and the standoff, but Hilo was dealt with and Nico and Dani get together. All is right with the world :)
| zebraboymom chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Growl! That was exquisite. Very romantic and all hero to the rescue. I love your portrayal of Nico here. I think you nailed him 100%. Loved it. Just loved it. I'm going to read it again. Smile:)
| Anon chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Please continue pretty please
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/31/2012
| DevilsAngelSaphire chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
oh, I think i like this one more than the day off I just read. Very nice. No cackling this time just the gripping of the desk wanting to know what happens next. A wonderful pleasure to read such a treasure.
| vmhgonzales chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
I loved it! Can't wait to read more!
| Lattelady chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
Wow, that had an emotional punch. I really enjoyed The Godfather reference. You tool us on a great ride, good plot, tense at times, but romantic at the end. Well done and thanks for sharing.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
I have to say, this story has become my number one favorite. Just the way you have written the tenderness, respect and emotion between Dani and Nico is amazing. Good and beauty always come out of bad and ugly. Dani and Nico share one soul. Please continue your fan fiction writing, it is greatly appreciated.
| ladyofkeegan chapter 1 . 8/26/2012