|Reviews for Forever and Ever|
| PopRockShawty chapter 78 . 9/19
Usually your opening sentences of each chapter are pretty cinematic, just like this one. That’s a feat.
Lilliandil would not say “guys come on” it’s way too characteristic of modern-day language. Overall, her character is so effing bland and has zero development whatsoever. Not well done.
Nice writing from Peter’s POV. It was pretty convincing. Lovely. Even lovelier that you managed to make me not hate Lara (you know how I feel about babies and kids in general). So not bad on the whole, really.
I don’t give a shit about Ariel and Hal whatsoever. Boring as fuck, cliche as fuck, bland as fuck, utterly uninteresting and brings nothing to the damn plot.
With Lucy and Andrew it’s not TOO bad, but there’s nothing about them that makes me want to see more of them together.
I have a question. Is Emily the eldest of her siblings? Because if she has an elder sister, there is no way she would approach Elsa for advice about the consummation. It sure is hell is going to be her own blood-related sisters. So stop trying to make everything be about Elsa.
Even if she is indeed the eldest, there’s still her mother around, presumably, so it still shouldn’t be Elsa that Emily is approaching. Elsa is so overrated in your series and many of the other OCs are under-utilized, which is a fucking waste because they have so much potential and yet they’re just there, in the background, with no development at all. This is partly why there’s nothing exciting about Edmund’s wedding and even though I don’t mind it, you’re not giving me any reason to be looking forward to it.
| fabulousfriends chapter 11 . 3/5
This is one of the best stories every written! You are an amazing writer and I will read this story until the very very end and then re read it and when I am finished again I will read it all over again if that even makes any sense...yeah...
THIS IS AMAZING!
| PopRockShawty chapter 77 . 8/5/2015
Peter kissed the top of Elsa's head...and ignored everybody else.
I like Ed's attitude in the scene where the boys were bonding. While the conversation on the whole was a little bland, it was better than no bonding scene at all. The scenes with the sovereigns from foreign states were also pretty boring, but I guess it’s better than nothing as well.
Peter's overprotective side is getting really, really boring.
I don’t like that Ariel is one of Elsa’s close friends since they were children. If it really is the case and they were such close friends then how come Ariel was never mentioned? Also, the “she was a nice girl” part is bland as hell.
A strapless dress for Lucy? Isn’t that anachronistic?
Why must Elsa be the one to ‘handle’ Peter? Can’t his own siblings handle him? It’s ridiculous. His siblings are much closer to him than Elsa is.
Wait, so Sandra is Caspian’s ex? Again, no mention of her, ever?
Royals don’t refer to each other as Mr. and Mrs. (surname). And it’s not romantic, so quit it.
Ariel and Hal. Predictable couple, nothing interesting. I hope I don’t ever see them again if they’re not going to be any more fascinating than they are right now. And I’m talking about both the characters and the (nonexistent) relationship.
| Clare chapter 8 . 6/30/2015
I'm hoping girl
| PopRockShawty chapter 76 . 5/5/2015
The first scene just reminds me so much of Edmund and Gilda in our 1x015 haha :P (but I still don't ship Lu and Andrew just so you know)
ugh another child so soon and all the other couples have NOTHING.
Jesus Christ; this is unreasonable. I know that Susan is older than Lucy but BOTH of them lived till their twenties/thirties in the Golden Age and Peter STILL doesn't know to trust Lucy's judgment? Honestly this is ridiculous. I don't have a problem with Peter's natural protective instincts over his family, but here he's just being paranoid and lacks trust in his sister which is just absurd, and not fun to read about. NO.
I also don't appreciate Elsa's patronizing tone when speaking to Peter. It's not a family moment, it's not a couple moment, it's plain self-important.
But, I will say that both Elsa and Peter are good with children; it's obvious when I observe how they behave around Lara.
I like grumpy Peter though :P make him as grouchy as you want haha.
I find it illogical that Glenstorm says "some of my men"? I believe you're referring to human men rather than male centaurs? Because you haven't made it clear if he's leading a team of human soldiers or his own species.
| PopRockShawty chapter 75 . 3/30/2015
Lucy seems really childish, especially toward the end of the 3rd paragraph. She doesn't do that; just no. She's way more mature than that.
I like that Edmund and Peter are bonding and talking about their marriages. It seems a mature thing to do, as Edmund hasn't otherwise been the most mature King around. It's just a bit hard for me to believe that Ed's a virgin.
It'd be more realistic for Elsa to hum a Telmarine lullaby rather than a Narnian lullaby. You can leave the Narnian lullaby to one of the Pevensies.
Honestly, there is no reason why Elsa would say that Andrew could potentially be Peter's brother-in-law. It's not like Andrew and Lucy are courting already. All Andrew did was help Lucy back to the castle. If that hadn't been a boy about Lucy's age, if it had been any other guard or servant, would Elsa still have made that remark about that guy being Lucy's spouse and therefore Peter's brother in law?
| PopRockShawty chapter 74 . 2/21/2015
I liked Ahmed here because he doesn't falter. Even though I know that he will eventually be defeated, because the antagonists should always have a sad ending while the protagonists should always have a happy ending, I still feel like he has a strong case and he has a point at times too, especially since Rachel was bewitched into working for him. I also liked that he proposed a duel, but it seems too honorable a thing to do since that was what the Narnians suggested when they were fighting against Miraz. And Ahmed should know better than to die the same way his enemies' ex-rivals did.
| PopRockShawty chapter 73 . 1/2/2015
I like the first paragraph. It's a little poetic. :P
I don't like that it's always about the Kings and the Princes. The Queens aren't getting enough involvement. Not just in terms of military, but in many other aspects as well.
Wait, something's wrong. How come King Edmund is just "Royal Highness"? I thought he was supposed to be "Royal Majesty"?
And I don't think wedding invitations have to include "The Just".
Is Emily a 'Lady' or is she just a maid? Because she can't be both.
Tbh one of my favorite things in your story is Peter's humor. In a lot of fanfics nobody really portrays his humorous side but you've managed to do so brilliantly.
"Everyone is in the Tear Room right now." I know it's just a typo and I'm not supposed to be laughing that hard but it was just funny. :P
| PopRockShawty chapter 71 . 11/28/2014
It seems rather unrealistic for all of Archenland to keep the fact that Peter's alive a secret. After all there will be spies in the Archenlander court. It did happen in the books (The Horse & His Boy).
Aha, Lucy is the Queen and Caspian shalt not defy her!
Zach isn't getting enough attention. I need him to have a more important role than just being Susan's love interest. He's supposed to be the Crown Prince of Archenland; shouldn't he be more involved in Archenlander politics?
| PopRockShawty chapter 70 . 11/21/2014
the Kings' interactions are the best! but I have to admit that Peter isn't the only one who hasn't been spending enough time with Lucy ever since romance got in the way. what about their other siblings? i mean sure they have snowball fights and see each other every day but they seldom get any alone time. like one-on-one, you know? i think that's very important too. especially Susan with Lucy, because Susan's probably going to go to Archenland with Z after she's married, which is why I want the two sisters to spend as much time together as possible.
| PopRockShawty chapter 69 . 11/12/2014
I love this! The Kings being silly in the kitchen and causing a mess. And I cracked up at the word 'homogeneous' hahaha. I love that they keep dodging responsibilities, especially when Pete said that they are warriors; they've fought battles and planned wars before so why should making a cake be a challenge? lol
Susan would make a good secretary.
| PopRockShawty chapter 68 . 10/21/2014
This is very minor but I don't think Adele should say or think that she can speak for everyone. Just speak for herself or for her family. I would like it better if she only just voiced out her own opinion and spoke for herself, while all the others unanimously agreed with her.
I want Lilliandil and Emily to have more involvement. More scenes, both together and separately.
| PopRockShawty chapter 66 . 10/9/2014
"in the High bedroom" lol :D
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE SUSAN AND ZACH OH MY GOD I GET FEELS
| PopRockShawty chapter 65 . 10/5/2014
I actually think Edmund, instead of Caspian, would be the one to hate the winter and the cold, because it's when Edmund got captured by the White Witch, and she cast a spell that would cause winter forever and never Christmas. Though now, winter seems to be high time people get engaged!
Anyway, I still think it's very thoughtful of Caspian to give his parents' ring to Lilliandil.
| PopRockShawty chapter 64 . 10/5/2014
Btw Peter and Elsa sounded like really proud parents when they talked about Edmund growing up and finding love and now getting married. And that was some rather professional talk amongst the heads of the nation, but I do wish that Susan and Lucy and Caspian (Edmund can be exempted because he has to propose though) could have been with Peter and Elsa when they talked to Tariq. After all, they're not the only ones in this. Caspian had a big role in helping 'Ian' fit in. I feel like Su and Lu are rather left out.
The characters keep saying that Emily is going to be a good Queen, but I'd really like her to show more of her queenly side. Sure she has positive traits and qualities but then I still feel like she's a character pushed to the background even though she is courting the Just King and is supposed to be more influential.