|Reviews for Worth more than a penny|
| carlos3101 chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
the whole idea is great not bad for a first attemt as you can probaly tell im new to ff and am tryingg to get to know everyone
i already know greysouthpaws
| luv2readgirl chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
LOL! plz continue this is so funny!
| emmadactryl chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
That was quite cute :) Nice bit of banter between them all and good to see their individual characters coming through in their interactions with each other.
I will give you a bit of critiquing feedback, though: to put it as simply as possible, don't rush- and I can say that because I'm more than guilty of not following that guideline, lol :P I know it's a short little story (and I do love lots of dialogue), but try and remember to paint a picture, feed in a few more details, give the reader a bit more of a complete scene that they can imagine while reading. It's a fine line between the right amount of description and too much, but adding even just a little bit more interwoven in with the dialogue and action parts will make a huge amount of difference and pace the story a bit more, if that makes sense. Grammar and formatting can be as tricky as nailing the right ratios of description, action and dialogue; couple of little tweaks you need here and there and just remember to watch capital letters and setting up dialogue tags correctly.
Really solid effort, though- especially for your first fanfic! I remember my first (first few- quite a few, actually, oh my) which I wrote when I was about your age and it was... dodgy, to say the least, lol :P Really happy you're open to feedback, hope I've been helpful and please don't take anything I've said to heart or let it discourage you; not my intention at all. If you have any more questions, want a bit more in depth analysis or a proofread, don't hesitate to shoot me a message.
Lovely to see you breaking into this section, hope this is just the first of a lot more stuff to come from you and very exciting to see another young person getting into this wonderful world of words :)
| Greysouthpaw chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Loved the story; very funny, well written. That is pretty much how I imagined a lot of the group's earlier training sessions. Alex's dad is right about the fraternisation within a unit...
Well done :)