|Reviews for Special Cake Night|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/26/2014
hmmmmm...lemon cake huh ;-)
| don't-even-ask1 chapter 1 . 8/16/2013
Very yummy (like cake)!
| Neko Pelzig chapter 1 . 3/12/2013
Me: YOU ARE A YAOI GOD! I WILL OBEY YOU AND YOUR LAWS!
Sara(my big sister):KAOI(me)!WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WORSHIPING PEPOLE!
Me:*looks down sadly after being yelled at* sorry Sara but it was so good that I felt I needed to obey her.
Sara*looks at her litter sister with a face of defeat and sighs* as long as you learned your lesson for the tenth time I guess I'll let it slide this time.*walks outta of the room*
Me:*smiles evilly* I got her wrapped my little fingers!*laughs evilly* thanks for the story it was delicious *winks at you*
| Shadow Ravon chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
:-) :-) :-)
| LifeOfA-FallingStar chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
-giggling fit- love it!
| FallBubblegumFailure chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
YUS *dies of happiness*
| SherlockXJohnWatson4Life chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
All I have to say is AWESOME! I love this story since I can definitely relate to Mori on his own accord, but I love how the cake, the sex, the... EVERYTHING how it all mixed together, and that, akes me VERY happy. Thank you.
| mellorey chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
HAHAH! lemon, i get it XD how cute honey 3
| An Insane Nobody chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Alright, pointers pointers pointers. Beware Mikami, the truth can hurt.
First off, you need to go through it again due to grammatical and spelling errors, as well as a format flaw. I can't tell if "This is speaking" or "This is thinking." I use either 'this' or italics to indicate thinking, some people do this but it really doesn't matter, it's just not as confusing. I understand, you tell them Honey thought that, but when I'm reading I make the characters speak whatever the hell is in quotes , making them backtrack just confuses the fuck out of me.
Second, it's kind of redundant. You repeat some phrases which I think is because you just skimmed over it before you posted, I do the same thing, no big deal.
Third, you trying to make it sexy wasn't sexy at all, and you need more detail when it comes to the sex scenes. What I mean is that having someone absolutely DRIPPING with sweat isn't appealing. Just imagine what you would want with a girl and apply that. We WANT the cute helpless uke. Just saiyan.
Finally, it's kind of out of character. And that's good every now and again if I can buy it. This is just...I don't see them acting like that. I mean, a good writer can make Light a fluffy bunny in the right context and people can BUY IT, and I'm not saying you're a bad writer, you just need more experience with this couple.
You really need a beta too.
Stick with Major.
AND THIS IS ALL SAID WITH LOVE IN THE HOPES YOU DO BETTER WRITING PORN NEXT TIME.
I LOVE THE IDEA
IT'S REALLY CUTE.
JUST...WORK ON IT MAN.
It's not terrible, but it needs more work.
Again, I love you man...
You can go post mean things on my stuff now.
| AnimeAmie chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Very cute and hot! ;D
I love that Mori used that palm technique to immobilize Honey; though when he was first doing that, I was like, 'what the hell!? he's beating up Honey?'
I like the lemon cake ending. :3