|Reviews for Droxy's Folly|
| Cause-and-Author chapter 14 . 4/8
Oh, I simply LOVE Lucius' little monologue to himself. Honestly, half the fun of any Snape-centric story is getting to listen in on all the twists and convolutions of a Slytherin mind.
Another entry in the "damn that secretive old poof, why couldn't he just spell something out for once in his miserable life" column of Dumbledore's sins. Honestly, I never loathed him so much as when the totality of his life and schemes were revealed in book 7. Fanfiction has yet to disappoint me in this regard - most SS/HG authors, at least, take the same dim view of him that I do.
Overall, excellent - EXCELLENT - work. I appreciate everything you did with the prompter, the title, the folly as a plot point, and how you worked it into your story. I'm extremely pleased at how you worked us along to the happy reconciliation, and very much impressed by your ability to believably portray furious-but-still-in-love.
I like to think that your Snape (ab)used his position as Foreign Secretary to establish an underground railroad of sorts, but perhaps he's not quite so willing to stick his neck out for any non-order members. Still, you saved the Lupins, which was cause for a big grin, and you applied glue to my broken heart for at least implying that some of the Weasley clan survived.
A possible launching-point for a sequel might be to have the Order regrouping in Magical America - a kind of double-secret-inverse D-Day invading Occupied England to free them from the Vazi Regime. Could be fun, or could be awful - you left it at exactly the right place to close the book on this story and leave open the possibilities for everybody to imagine.
Thank you - so much - for making this story a reality. You've achieved something wonderful!
| Cause-and-Author chapter 13 . 4/8
Exquisite work with the alternating viewpoint. I love the idea of these two lovers laying in bed, exchanging all the secrets that nearly broke them before The End. I am also stealing the "kindle" line.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 12 . 4/8
This is something that I have discussed with people before - Snape should be much more comfortable with hand-to-hand and muggle-fighting than he is ever shown in books or most fiction. So you win a thousand points for giving him the wherewithal to go Muggle and go for the kill. Another thousand for using his defeated, Stunned enemy as a shield against the unblockable curse, and another thousand for giving him the willingness to kill in defense of his lover.
EXCELLENTLY well done.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 11 . 4/8
Oh. OH my. You used the ward plot point like a scalpel, I'll give you that. Her loving him was and is monumental; in spite of his everything, she forgives, accepts, embraces. THAT is the spirt, the heart and soul of any SS/HG fiction, and you've .. not captured it, per se, but lured it nearby so that if we're quiet, we can see it in life.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 10 . 4/8
You know, I'm starting to think that Pansy is my kind of witch. She seems fun, which is a pleasant change from many other fictions' depictions.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 9 . 4/8
Have I mentioned how much I love this Snape? Patient, methodical, devious, ruthless - and in love. You played this whole scene exceptionally, brilliantly well.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 8 . 4/8
"Newly awakened Slytherin-Hermione" may become my very very favorite trope in all of fanfiction. I don't care how she got here, I don't care what the backstory is - give me a Hermione who is as full of cunning, guile, and manipulation as she is courage, indignation and fury.
The revelation with Ron, and his subsequent fate, was the most painful thing I've read all morning. His tumbling between lucidity and insanity are heartbreaking, the more so because he's just so earnest about it all. I never particularly cared for him as anything more than the obligatory side-kick until I read this.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 7 . 4/8
A) I crave the delicious angst of misunderstandings and misinterpretations between lovers, and you're providing it in spades. Excellently done.
B) This is a Snape I can respect and admire. I also assume that he's subverted the portrait? Well done him!
| Cause-and-Author chapter 6 . 4/8
This setup is almost too good to spoil with my sad little words. Their relationship, such as it was, and their passion and their damned secret-keeping struggles. Damn Albus, that old poofter! I absolutely adore the plot-point about the wards, which is something I'll gleefully steal.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 5 . 4/8
Okay, the dance with Snape was a disturbingly good read. You're playing them all against each other, and doing it brilliantly.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 4 . 4/8
Okay, I see my mistake in the timeline. Derp! I'm hooked on your plot - I love Phineus Nigellus, and felt that the entire mechanic of moving portraits was underutilized. Argh! I'm supposed to be _working_, but I can't stop reading!
| Cause-and-Author chapter 3 . 4/8
Glad to see I was right about Snape's assumed loyalties! Now decidedly confused about Hermione's rescuer, but what's the fun in extrapolating the entire story correctly from the first chapter?
I gather that this chapter is set two years after the previous? Hermione has been working under Lucius for this long? Intriguing! You gloss over much of her "I'm out of prison" recovery, but leave tantalizing hints in the form of her taste for coffee and her casually-crude friendship with Draco (which I'm very glad to see, by the way - I know he's a fun punching bag for fanfic writers, but I truly believe that given better options he might have had redemption.)
| Cause-and-Author chapter 2 . 4/8
Voldemort killed harry? If we assume canon compliance until the final battle, this implies that all horcruxes are gone. Can Voldemort make more? He knew they were after them, after all, but the Potterverse presupposes a soul that can be segmented. Eventually, you run out of soul to split. This might be an interesting plot point in the future, so I'll be keeping my eyes out.
I love how well Hermione hid out - you've portrayed very believable for a defeated, shellshocked survivor. I'd like to think that her past experience being on the run might have helped here more, but then again she didn't have any friends, hope, or moral support. I find myself very curious about the thing slipped into her bag, and the password, and the weird intensity of Dumbledore. Was there a plan she was supposed to be carrying out? Why didn't she just go full muggle and try to restart her life? Looking forward to the answers!
The description of Hermione's prison sentence was gut-churning, absolutely heart-pounding. "Brutal Honesty in Fanfiction" has become something that I rather expect from TeddyRadiator, so I was not at all surprised to see a complete lack of sugar-coating on her time in the worst prison ever imagined. You put me completely off my coffee, which is saying something.
Love the "I'm trying so hard to be a femme fatale" look of Pansy Parkinson. ESPECIALLY your description of her as as "teetering" around on her trying-too-hard shoes. I'm curious about Snape's death and rebirth and status, but if I had to guess I'd say that Voldemort really did mean it - he was sorry to have to kill his most loyal, most useful servant. Genuine regret. And since Potter charged in like an idiot to avenge Ginny, he never got the chance to either see or expose the memories Snape had given him. To the Death Eaters, Snape was always on their side.
That brings up the question of "Did Hermione ever know the contents of those memories?", and I'm thinking that the answer is "No." It'll be curious how she reacts to eventually finding out that it was he who saved her in the final battle (I'm just guessing here!).
EXTREMELY well done so far! The loss of the entire Weasley clan is a keen one, and a part of me hates you for it, but I have faith that you and TeddyRadiator aren't just playing with my battered heart like a cat with a particularly entertaining mouse.
| Cause-and-Author chapter 1 . 4/8
One of the things I've always found most difficult to accept about "Lord Voldemort" was his cartoonishly evil ineptitude. It should have been immediately obvious to anyone with more than a handful of braincells that the pureblood supremacy movement, if carried to its logical conclusion, could have only one outcome: the death of Wizarding society. That Voldemort was incapable of seeing this, and seemed to encourage it in his followers, was always one of those things I felt was aimed specifically at her audience: "See, children? Discrimination is wrong, because that's what Lord Voldemort does, and he's Evil."
So it was with a very high eyebrow that I read the story setup: The poster boy for pureblood supremacy talking about a kinder, gentler distopia? Welcoming all those of magical blood, regardless of birth? Well, not full citizenry obviously - what is this, the Americas? - but a reprieve from the Snidely Whiplash theatrics. It's actually kind of brilliant: Rally the purebloods and whip them into a supremacist frenzy so that they'll win your war for you. Then, after the war is over and they've had a chance to settle into being on top of society, you open the doors to start allowing the rest of your magical population back in. Why? Because you need them, and you only needed the purebloods for their money and fervor. In a dozen generations or so, the halfbloods and muggle-borns might even think that this was their proper place in society (I'm thinking of the caste system of India, or the various IndoChinese empires that have all practiced various forms of classism). Le Voila - a tiered society where the muggle-borns are the breeder class to keep the wizarding world alive, and the purebloods coast.
I also appreciate both your depiction of Azkaban and the lasting impression it left on Malfoy. I picture him a cringing, nervous wreck of a man hiding behind his robes and appearance charms and his role. An excellent beginning - and I'm absolutely DYING to know more.
| Clarine chapter 14 . 4/7
Très belle variation AU. J'ai aimé comment vous avez peint les personnages principaux, leurs interactions passées et présentes.
Beaucoup d'émotions avec Neville, Arthur et surtout Ron. Vous avez écrit des moments magnifiques avec lui, à la fois terribles et bouleversants. Vous avez très bien réussi à rendre compte de sa psyché fracturée. Chapeau bas !
Et en plus : un soupçon d'aventure, du suspens, quelques méchants duels (verbaux ou magiques)...
Vraiment excellent ! Sûr que j'aimerais bien lire une suite mais je comprends bien que ce n'était pas votre intention initiale (laquelle était de répondre à l'invite de Droxy). Votre HEA laisse toutefois espoir d'un dénouement complet finalement heureux et c'est déjà très bien.
Merci à toutes les deux (et à Droxy)