Reviews for The first Rebel
TheEmeraldMage chapter 24 . 7/24/2016
This story would be good if not for the following things that irritated me such as... The spelling was all over the place and words would occasionally just not flow right especially with a lot of sentences, dialogue felt way too simple and didn't feel well constructed as fights felt like they were written like a video game script complete with certain phrases from certain games. Then there are the characters and their interactions with the OC, I really felt that they ranged from what is this guy to let's fight together to I love you now. I don't know but to me it felt a bit slack-jawed and not focused at all especially since they instantly fell in love with the guy. Finally Juan: ok so with him questions pop up like why is he a so called rebel, what is this Rebellion he keeps mentioning on about, how is he good with guns and a sword, why does he butt in on affairs including the Queen's Blade, how come the girls like him a lot including the girl who is 18 years old and he's 20, why does he act like a wannabe badass who by your description reminds me of Dante, how come he is a Nephilim, how is he on Earth at all if he is a Nephilim and why oh why does he flip from being a jerk to being a harem protagonist to being a nice guy and back again. Now I know that throughout the story you do explain this but even so, all of this just felt really confusing, anger inducing and head scratching even when his personality just kept changing with no consistency. Overall I say this because I read the story a long time ago and I thought it was good but now after rereading it again I find it to be average and please don't take this the wrong way as I will give you credit at least the Queen's Blade story is actually done and you improved a little bit in certain parts but I hope this helped you in some way and sorry this was so long and I hope you understand.
7 chapter 24 . 6/8/2016
I can't wait for the sequel
7 chapter 23 . 6/8/2016
You are super awsome
7 chapter 22 . 6/8/2016
Super awsome
7 chapter 21 . 6/7/2016
7 chapter 20 . 6/7/2016
awesome sweet
7 chapter 19 . 6/7/2016
slime girl is back
7 chapter 18 . 6/7/2016
the bad guy is so low
7 chapter 17 . 6/7/2016
that was so sad
7 chapter 16 . 6/7/2016
I always cry at that ep
7 chapter 15 . 6/7/2016
on man
7 chapter 14 . 6/7/2016
stay tune
7 chapter 13 . 6/7/2016
this story is like dmc
7 chapter 12 . 6/7/2016
yes nyx does deserves better
7 chapter 11 . 6/7/2016
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