|Reviews for Circle of Souls|
| Royed Mustric XD chapter 2 . 12/29/2012
awww, i like this story its really good, keep up the good work *Thumbs up
| Nayru Elric chapter 2 . 12/10/2012
Whoo! Sorry it took me so freakin' long to read it! I've been caught up with... (never finishes sentence)
Ahem, nice chapter! There were quite a number of grammatical mistakes, and sometimes I think you drawled it on too much with Marcoh and Danielle's conversation, other than that, pretty good
| Lady Island Rose chapter 2 . 12/7/2012
Wow! So cool!
Nice work! and I would give some advice as well, but LeFay did that quite nicely already.
| LeFay Strent chapter 2 . 12/2/2012
I wonder if she ever told the trio about her abilities. I kinda want it to be a surprise to them and see what their reactions will be.
I really liked this chapter but one big thing bugged me. The stone Marcoh possessed was not a Philosopher's Stone. It was a Crimson Stone, an imperfect version of the Philosopher's Stone that holds great alchemic power but is risky to use because the alchemist never knows when it could rebound. There's a great difference between the two.
I look forward to your next update.
| LeFay Strent chapter 1 . 12/2/2012
Oh wow! That was an exciting way to begin the story. I wonder why those people were chasing her in the beginning? But I like how you had her end up with Marcoh. I'm guessing that Ed and Al will find her there later when they come to see Marcoh. Oh, and I love her name! It's so pretty!
So, great job with the beginning. I'll be honest, there were some grammar/spelling mistakes so be sure to proof read your chapters before posting them. If you already doing that then I suggest having someone else to look them over for you. Having another pair of eyes look over your work can do wonders for your writing.
| crazyman90 chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
| Lover of Emotions chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
that is really good. update soon please.
| DragonRaiderBlood chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
It was a great chapter. Mysterious, interesting. I like that in a story
| Confusedrambler chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
O-kay! Not bad for the first chapter of your first story! I can tell you've got plenty of potential and with a little practice, your writing can become so much more!
There are a few grammatical errors that I spotted and your dialogue could use a tidbit of work. Details are good, but they swing from extremely detailed to sorta detailed rather quickly. I think having a Beta would help you grow in your writing by leaps and bounds.
Plot progression so far is good and you've done well with giving us just a taste of what's to come.
One other thing- watch out for your characterization with Danielle. Right now she seems like a nice enough girl, but she's rather flat. I would suggest you include a few more scenes to flesh her out in your next chapter. It doesn't have to be anything major- maybe she has a habit of tossing her hair out of her face, stuttering, or fidgeting. Maybe she loves bugs or trees or the way wind feels against her face. Even little things like that can make a character really come alive.
I'll keep an eye on ya in the future and I hope to watch you flourish into the amazing writer I know you can be! I hope I haven't been too harsh in my criticism and I'm looking forward to reading til the end!
| Lady Island Rose chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
Hmm. . . I like it :) its got a nice, mysterious start. Danielle shows some promise, and her mother being in the stone? Fascinating. I can't wait to see how you let it unfold.
| Nayru Elric chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
Ooo! Very interesting first chapter! And the writing was very good. (better than me, cough)
I am interested! The only thing I must complain so far is that the chapter was so short! (whines) Other than that, I am thoroughly impressed there is nothing else I can find wrong with it. It's the perfect amount of description and mystery! I think you are going to be the second story ever on my follows list. Great job.