Reviews for An Empty Life: Hollow Desires
Mzr90 chapter 6 . 9/19/2012
Cool chapter yeah Sen's luck just fluctuates huh?

Also curious with his unique skill something that reflects Sen well I'm looking forward to how that works into the game.
oldman543 chapter 5 . 9/19/2012
Interesting.
Littica Marek chapter 5 . 9/18/2012
Really nice, I hope Sen finds his [Truth] before he end up losing what makes him human, you act like he did in most of that and the act slowly becomes reality and to be honest.

It would be a real shame for him to really lose himself to his chosen persona and become the heartless Warrior he is portraying.

I way suggest a situation much like with Sachi and Kirito, if not the situation itself.

Some true emotional turmoil like that may be just what he needs to change him... or it could go on to push him into darkness even more...
d.greynight chapter 4 . 9/16/2012
Okay I get his dual wielding is not [dual blades ] and that's cool. I also get that he wants to accomplish things on his own power but I don't get him not distributing his stat points at high enough levels monsters will tear him up because the system that runs SAO is gonna limit his body's movements compared to his mind...
FrostyMouse chapter 5 . 9/16/2012
As you yourself admitted, a lot of it is taken from (with the addition of Kisen) Aria of the Starless Night, so there's not all that much to say.

Technically it's Yuuki Asuna and would be Yuuki Sen by Japanese standards. In Mother's Rosario, the girl's first name is Yuuki, not her family name, so there is a difference, even though it's only very minor.

For ideas, you could always work on some long quest type thing, such as how there's the Elf quest from the third floor to the ninth floor. Perhaps some event thing like that which grants a unique skill and Sen wins a competition, and the rewarded unique skill would fit whatever type of weapon you used, and in Sen's case, a unique skill without sword skills.

I did smile at how Sen's more like an actual game player where you would make your own food as needed and repair your own gear in the middle of everything, as it would just be too much trouble to go back to a blacksmith every time. In Elder Scrolls games, we all carry armorer equipment around in the form of hammers.
Mzr90 chapter 5 . 9/16/2012
An all right chapter seems like Kisen may get his own troubles soon with his reputation and know you don't like OC's but maybe Kisen could start a guild mix with canon and OC characters.
Kagehana.Tsukio chapter 5 . 9/16/2012
Oh my god this was the most AMAZING chapter yet! I cant wait for your next chapter! Great job finding a way to make sen have a ereal connection to the canon storyline. Having him he close acquaintances with Agil aka Danny Miller
Mzr90 chapter 4 . 9/13/2012
Cool chapter seems like Kisen is anti-social yeah can see the benefits of being alone but the risks seems way to much.

Yeah can understand if you don't want to bring in another OC you could always have him intersect with Lisbeth or Silica also not sure but you could bring in Sinon or Yuuki earlier.

Yeah go for [brackets] and looking forward to the next chapter.
FrostyMouse chapter 4 . 9/13/2012
The chapter was decent, but as you admitted, not that much happened.

Kibaou's just Kibaou. :P

We do know that the Cardinal System could create lore and stories based on things in the real world. Even though the Volume 10 Chapter 1 explanation makes it sound as if they didn't have intelligence or stories of their own, that's because it's all programmed in. They still experienced and could react on their own, but to some degree, it was all a program, not true AI. I will agree that NPCs can interact on their own, however.

Well, the BT guys use [thing here] for terms. Either that or your bracket system is usually fine as it makes terms stand out from the rest of the text more.
Kagehana.Tsukio chapter 4 . 9/13/2012
oh mi god cant wait for the next chapter!
Fallen Vanguard chapter 3 . 9/10/2012
None too shabby, but I'm looking forward to later chapters so I have more to comment on.
mafia king chapter 3 . 9/10/2012
i belive the SAO system limits them to one weapon unless the posses the dual blade skill
Drago pirate chapter 3 . 9/9/2012
That was a good chapter on how he will not use sword skill but his own skill instead.
FrostyMouse chapter 3 . 9/9/2012
It was definitely different, that's for sure. I take it that you're not going to give your character Dual Blades at some point. I mean, if he worked on this enough, perhaps he could've had a higher reaction speed than Kirito, so it could happen, but you're not going that direction, so...

The writing style itself is quite good, so that all works. I'll be curious to see how you make this work out, especially as it's so much different than any other SAO fanfic.
Mzr90 chapter 3 . 9/9/2012
Cool chapter I like this so far. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought that the duel wielding skill was unique only to Kirito?

Just wondering if your OC will just be on his own or will he perhaps join or form his own guild?
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