|Reviews for Burning Skies|
| Red Crown chapter 1 . 8/13/2013
Okay, finally got around to reading this. I like the direction it's going. I see one fundamental thing that you can do to make this a lot better: Only introduce a few characters and focus intensely on developing them while you have the plot progress from their point of view.
You introduced too many characters at once. It is hard to follow the switches. In some cases you introduced some characters with no advances in the plot or any indication of how they fit into the plot. If you'll notice one thing I did with High Calling was to made a select few characters and build on them. There are even a few instances where I have whole chapters dedicated to a single character. A character with a background story and a personality with quirks is an interesting character. You don't even need to reveal their entire background story in a chapter, just parts of it and little by little as your story progress.
Overall, I like this and I will read more.
| KnighteWolfe chapter 3 . 8/13/2013
Okay, I am somewhat disappointed with this story. It has potential. Hell it has a lot of potential, however it is just Choppy. As. Hell. There's no flow to the story and the rhythm is absent. You're not linking events and are just jumping from action to action with no way to link in a comprehensive manner.
Truthfully, I like this story. Like I stated earlier, it has potential. Unfortunately, until you iron this story out and work it so there is a semblance of both rhythm and flow, this story will not reach its true potential. I suggest reading the Ace Combat stories of Red Crown and Rei Ronin to help with smoothing this story out and and eliminating the choppiness.
Keep working on this and polish it up. I highly recommend a beta-reader to help you smooth this out and reduce some of the choppiness. Two other points I must bring up, you keep misspelling barely (its b-a-r-e-l-y, not b-a-r-l-e-y. And it is a Slava-class cruiser not Salva).
| Jarle chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Nicely written! And nice introduction! Only thing i can say is that some of the sentences was long and difficult to understand. But that may just be me, as my native language is not English. I'm looking forward to reading the rest!
| Sean chapter 1 . 10/3/2012
Well written, reminiscent of Tom Clancy in level of writing !
| Trainalf chapter 2 . 9/4/2012
The concept and plot are fairly nice, even possible in the real world. But at times the writing turns into a giant wall of unspaced text that simply turns people off. You may want to work on that.