Reviews for Asylum of the Daleks REVISED
dar40mn chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
This seems like the exact same version as the TV episode. I don't see any difference.
AspenTree97 chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
This helped me understand a lot better. Thank you. I can't tell you how confused I was while watching the show, especially with a family who keeps asking, "What's happening now?" As though they don't have eyes! God, it's annoying!
RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
i'm going to be honest i didn't see any differences maybe it's because it's been over a week since i've seen the episode, who knows? it was still brilliantly written nonetheless.
Pixie105 chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
Brilliant :D xx For another fic you could write one on the new ep dinousaur on a spaceship were the computer did show how much the doctor is worth and he went after him instead. xX
Guest chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Should have changed the end so the Daleks remember him
Guest chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
I love this. When I watched this episode I couldn't understand it at all. Thanks
JaneScarlett chapter 1 . 9/7/2012
So I liked it, but on first read-through didn't catch the edits either, actually had to rewatch the episode before I could comment. But, think i caught everything now. Certainly reads smoother than the episode (though without a few of the funny lines. Or much mention of the Doctor trying to fix the Ponds before it happens. But I guess that's not really the point of the episode, more subplot.)
Like how you changed the appearance of the human daleks. Actually they would've been far creepier like that!
Pelahnar again chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
Whoops, I did notice that you changed the description of the human/Dalek puppets. I think it works well as a story description, because it can clearly be pointed out that their eyes look Dalek - I'm not sure it would've worked as well on the screen.
Pelahnar chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
Truthfully? Other than changing 'parliament' to 'convocation' and making the controls to taking down the force field be jammed rather than just _on_ the planet, I saw little difference. It's no worse than the episode (which I thought was awesome, by the way) but not significantly better, either.

And you didn't address the one thing in the episode that really rang...not wrong, exactly, but strange to me. The Doctor put his bracelet on Amy, Amy and Rory made it clear that they didn't think he truly thought himself immune (with expressions, if not with words) - and if these nanogenes are related to the ones introduced in The Empty Child, then they _do_ work on Time Lords. But it's never mentioned again, there are no detrimental affects on the Doctor.

My theory? This is on purpose. Since we're watching from the Doctor's point of view, if his perceptions have been altered by the nanites (was that word used in the episode? I don't remember), then we wouldn't be able to tell. Well, the only thing that he saw that disagreed with anyone else's reality was Oswin as a Dalek.

Who's to say that it was _she_ who was in a dreamworld? What if it was really the Doctor's perceptions that were messed with so he only _thought_ she was a Dalek?

My theory continues that, while Oswin might have been able to shield herself to some degree, spending a year by yourself - Daleks trying to break in, nanogenes all around - might've sent her a little psycho. This would account for trying to make souffles without milk. Which didn't turn out right, of course.

The Doctor's suggestion that things weren't as they seemed to her could've sent her over the edge, so she started believing it, hence the memories (fake, in my theory) of being converted. Then, still believing herself to be a human-turned-Dalek-but-still-trying-to-act-human, she saves the Doctor (from herself). As she's surrounded by Dalek technology and evidently has quite the ability to control it, then I could totally believe that once the force field was down, she could use that conveniently vague term 'Emergency Temporal Shift' and end up in Victorian England. To be found by the Doctor later.

Her mental state and memories at that point are questionable.

There, I have subjected you to my theory on how Oswin will become Clara. I've spent the better part of the past few days thinking that up. So, do you think it's more, or less insane than what Moffat will actually give us?
thephoenixandthedragon4ever chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
Loved it. Maybe you can rewrite the ending to the library and give us a happy ending.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
I'll take it as a compliment that people haven't noticed how many changes there actually are. Especially if the story reads smoothly enough for people not to notice them. They weren't supposed to stand out, but to seem like a natural part of the story, as if they'd always been there.

The point was not to rewrite it as a new story, but to edit it to clarify the story we had. To fix those "WTF? That doesn't make any sense!" moments, so that they don't pull the audience out of the story.

There are actually quite a lot of changes, added lines, extra scenes, changes in dialogue, one full costume change, and a redesign of one of the main monsters.

I guess you could call it a treasure hunt, find the changes.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
Not great, to be honest. You only changed a few lines: otherwise it was pretty much just the script for AoTD copied out. You could have fixed plot holes like Rory (a time traveller) touching a Dalek and it not repairing.
One more tip: you should really add at least 1 original scene if it's supposed to be 'rewritten'.
Amethyst Kitsune chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
I liked it. Fantastic twist you did to it. So good.
Reader4077 chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
I really didn't see any difference...
Mariquita-Gatanegra chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
Definitely made more sense than the actual episode. Well, just a bit. Well, it was pretty much the same. Well, it was still good. :)