|Reviews for The Moose on seaQuest|
| murphycat chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
Very cute! And very in character!
| Edhla chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
My apologies for not realising I was tapped out on your multichapters; chose this because after drowning in angst all evening I could use some cheer... like reading about mooses on seaQuest. :D
"I'm already good at poker..." you tell him, Kristin! Ha :D
I completely love Kristin and Nathan's mother-and-father relationship with Lucas, and Kristin scolded a shame-faced Nathan for letting someone who is essentially their son play poker underage is hilarious.
"Like pride."- I giggled. Nicely called, Lucas.
"He had a very..." this seems to tell a little bit; if you're up for making any changes on this (and considering it's a challenge one-shot, I wouldn't blame you if you weren't) I'd toy with this so that you can't see the author, so to speak.
"What is that?" LOL! I'm grinning by now. I love the light-heartedness of this piece.
"Why a moose exactly?" "Why not?" - Bless the RLt. :)
I share Kristin's sort of disgust at stuffed trophies, so Ben's probably-not-true explanation that he found it dead already was hilarious, and says a lot about how well-meaning Ben is.
The kiss. HA :D I wouldn't kiss it either! Gross. Though it's kind of hilarious that she caved in and went to kiss it anyway, I suppose that's not any more disgusting than the idea of giving Ben a foot-rub. Gross, Ben. Really gross.
Enjoyed this muchly... reviewed with a smile on my face :)
| Sierraoscar154 chapter 1 . 9/24/2012
That was actually pretty funny. A moose? The heck? But it quickly becomes a part of the story, not getting in the way, but augmenting and allowing the characters wacky hijinks to ensue. A nice, fun, one shot that's good for a laugh.
| PlainSimpleGarak chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Very cute and clever! I like you how brought out the characterizations through the banter and how the moose was put into the work. This was a very fun read, and the dialogue reads very nicely in character for the show! Still loving this challenge :D
| MalkieriJester chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
I love the stuffed moosehead idea to get a moose into seaQuest. There's some good banter in here between characters, and I really like the Dr. staying aloof in front of the others and biding her time till she can get alone with those mooselips. :)
| SkywardDiamond chapter 1 . 9/13/2012
Moose have a special place in my heart, being my favorite type of animal (besides horses). So I'm loving this moose challenge. Seems this moose gets around.
"Oh, I see you've brought the moose."
Love the nonchalance of this line.
"Dare I ask where you found it?" Then, she thought twice. "Please, don't answer that."
Ben smiled. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway."
I love, love, love when ridiculous stories are implied, or when the readers catch the tale end of something absurd. It's wonderfully clever in that it leaves a *lot* to the imagination.
So I'm going to assume that after visiting Loki, the moose went for a swim, got a massive butt cramp (think Spongebob), drowned and washed up on shore, ready to be decapitated and stuffed. . . .
"Don't forget to kiss the moose!"
Ha, ritual moose-kissing.
"I will not be kissing this moose; not now, not ever!"
You so sure about that? ;p
Heh, this was clever and creative. The concise writing fit the spirit of "parody". I enjoyed this oneshot. Good job with it.
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
Oh noes! Exposed! :O
Well, that's one way to incorporate the moose into everyone's favorite game, though I'm not sure what having it be a stuffed moose means for our poor mascot. :P
I guess everyone needs a lucky totem though. :D Even if the effect is purely psychological, it's still present. Now, the question is, was it affecting her, or the other players of the game?
...Or maybe I'm just thinking too deeply into the matter. In fact, I almost certainly am thinking too deeply into the matter.
Anyway, good story. :P Fits the requirements for sure, and is good besides.
As a final thought... Poker. Poker poker poker poker poker.
| ShadedRogue chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Ah, Mr. Moosen. He's getting quite famous now. I love this story, it made me laugh. I don't know how to play poker at all, maybe I should take lessons from Nathan too. I definitely loved the ritual of kissing the moose for luck, although I'd probably be in the same boat as Kristin for not wanting to kiss the moose. Mounted heads kind of freak me out. I also liked how you had Kristin and Nathan bonding for most of the story, they were all really sweet moments; especially at the end there when he catches her kissing Lucky.
| IrishPanther chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Quite an amusing fic you've written here! Loved the appearance of Lucky (at first read, I thought that he was real...that would have been amusing, a moose playing poker P)! I also loved the little Nathan/Kristin bonding throughout this story, and the little ritual that everyone did with Lucky (who knows, it could help). No grammar mistakes here so great job with your proofreading! I loved this little one-shot and I hope that Lucky makes more appearances in more fics by more authors; long live the moose! :)
| krazieneko chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
This is so cute! I need to learn how to play poker too.
| mirage24 chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
So cute! And someone indeed now has moose-breath. Love it :) I always loved that they played poker. And after a week of being Ben's maid, I have NO doubt Kristin will be sure to win next time!
| MelonLady chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
Ha Ha Ha hilarious!
| StormyMonday chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
"Someone has moose breath." Lol. That was cute, Darkin. Your moose is lucky (no pun intended). Mine gets eaten. :P
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 9/7/2012
Why does this not have any reviews? I love this fic and I love the poker game. Great one shot!
| The Death Frisbee chapter 1 . 9/7/2012
The integration of the moose worked well! I for one was wondering how a moose would survive underwater, so this was a good twist to the idea. The writing felt fluid and the length was appropriate for a one-shot.
'buzz with excitement/some of the senior staff noticed' - show; don't tell. It reads too woodenly there.
When all the staff are sitting here and there, it read flatly - why do we need to know where Katie, Tim, Chief Crocker, and the rest of the senior staff are sitting, if they have nothing to do with the scene? Katie has a line of dialogue but that's not really enough to make it worthwhile. Have them either sit interestingly or do something interesting.
Hope this was helpful! SPAG, incl your question in Randomness, follows.
I know; I'm trying - comma splice
young man greeted - said-bookism; he's obviously greeting them anyway if he's withing them good morning
But she needs to stop/But really - repeated 'But,' delete one.
Ben countered - said-bookism
She turned back to him and said - petty, but the 'and said' stuck out to me. Just 'She turned back to him' would suffice.
Caught ya - needs no apostrophe
re. what do you do with it exactly, since you asked - needs no comma. 'What exactly would you do with it?' doesn't take a comma, and so the same applies with exactly at the end. 'What do you do with it, so to speak?' takes a comma, because 'What, so to speak, do you do with it?' would, if that makes sense.