Reviews for Of Steel
Fireminer chapter 6 . 7/6/2013
Only word can't describe my love to this story. Mana's journey is so beautiful, but also full of tragic!
Archnecromancer King chapter 6 . 4/8/2013
A brilliant job as always! Thanks! I always thought Mana deserved more prominence in Evafics, she has so much potential and I'm glad you used the character masterfully. Sincerely hope you make many beautiful and sad stories like this with Mana as the protagonist.
Thank you again for your hard work and for sharing your story with us, good luck to your life and work and your muse bless you more and more!
KendrixTermina chapter 6 . 3/25/2013
...I guess something like this was... to be expected.

I liked your writing style on the opening paragraphs, the way your choice of words and sentence structures conveyed those detached thinking patterns, of someone who was molded into a machine, cept that petard blew up in the faces of those who crafted it -
He ended up triggering some PTSD-thingy in her, didn't he, maybe combined with the... unhinging that comes with doing certain things before you're ready, in ways that are wrong.
Maybe that is the reflection that what she wanted from him was not exactly his love, but something else that produced behavior patters that were similar enough, but behaved differently at key points, like a function and an approximation, like a tailor polynimial.

I guess this is the sort of thing that I can't resist despite the feelings of infinite sadness it causes me, some... little light of self-purification that honestly wanted to shine, but couldn't conquer that vast, personal darkness. There are lots of those moments in EVA, and this fic, to a degree, conjured up that same feeling of avoidability, that it did not have to go to hell.

That final confrontation has many such little moments of light, that get lost in the shuffle and fail to establish a current. ("Tell him the truth", "You're Mana"), but in the end, you could feel how his willingness to blame himself (and he practically acted that way with Asuka until she finally pushed him too far) looked like a... seductive oppurtunity to her, and she just... couldn't let go of those thinking patterns that were so deeply engrained into her...

"girlfriend of steel", in this particular case, meant as much as "broken machine"...

Well, another genius fanfic by one of the great masters, what
qwertyui chapter 6 . 3/23/2013
The ending felt a bit rushed, and I was hoping to see more interaction between Mana and Misato/Asuka, but it's still not bad.

Your stories are always interesting and well writen, each time I re-read them I get something new from them, so thank you. Looking foward to your next one.
Hickabickaboo chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Very good ending, if only because it ended the way it did. Great story all around.
H-MangaEnthusiast chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Dear Mister Adam,

Well, what needed a closure got a closure. Still a bit disappointment about the lack of redheads and purpleheads, yet… nah, they had only one scene so it’s unnecessary to take it as something bad. The focus was Mana, and it was very well executed. The ending was great and fitting, yet it’s wasn’t anything unpredictable. Let’s be real, the tone from the first chapter can spoil everything if you pay enough attention. With that said I must one again applaud your subtlety. Good writing and really engaging storytelling. I’m glad I witnessed to this version of Mana. Hope you’ll do more things with her. Untill next time then. Great stuff.

p.s. love the way you went all soft in the omake ;)
Sun S. Li chapter 5 . 2/6/2013
Ha ha love your omake. I'm not sure I've reviewed yet but i want to tell you it's been a bit since you've written something i can grip and appreciate the subtle writing of. Not to imply you're incapable, just that your other fics don't draw me as such. My point being i like your emotional examination of mana and I'm excited for the finale
qwertyui chapter 5 . 2/3/2013
I don't know 100% of the 'Girlfriend of Steel' but I love that you have made Mana less sweet and more cunning. Which actualy makes sense considering she's a child soilder with a mission to seduce an Eva pilot, and it makes it seem more realistic.

I hope you add more dailogue for Asuka and Misato in the next chapter.
KendrixTermina chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
Yeah, that was intense and brilliant, as usual. I like how you've sneaked the... problematic things in through the backdoor, subtle and ignorable at first, but cumulating in the end.
Getting used to seeing yourself as a victim means that you might miss the moment where you cross the line and become a perpetrator instead... and Mana is getting intoxicated with the control that situation provides her, with the power she wouldn't have over him if she really was a normal girl.
There were those stings of guilt at his confession, so it's not over the top evil, but these last lines could imply *gulp* a lot...

Other bits I liked were your analysis parts concerning Shinji and untidy rooms (that actually does seem to be a common denominator amongst the otherwise so different chicks surrounding him XD) and the part with how he plays his instrument - was that bit about him as a creature of habit inspired by Q? You might try writing Q-verse, the movie looks like one of your fanfics, anyway...
Hickabickaboo chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
Great chapter, had just the right amount of dark undertones. Kinda nice to see Shinji and Asuka's strange relationship being used to interrupt Mana's plans (a bit). Though Mana's inner dialogue does make her as desperate as Shinji in a way. Omake was hilarious.
amitakartok chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
I'll be honest. This is the best Shinji/Mana fic I've ever read - and there aren't many of these in the first place. Knowing your usual style however, the "shit hits the fan" part is making me a bit worried about the next chapter. Granted, I don't mind some drama but please, PLEASE don't make the kids' lives a living hell just for the hell of it (like you did in Heart Catcher's omake).
H-MangaEnthusiast chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
Dear Mister Adam,

What a nice fiction you have here. I’ve just caught up, and am I pleased? Quite so. First off, I never thought I’ll see an active Mana enthusiast here. Seriously. My first take on evaverse was that game GoS, and that was a while ago. I always thought that I’ll have to be the one doing justice in this fandom… but boy… you’re doing a fine job. Yes, I’m very, very pleased.

Every time Mana appeared in fics, from what I saw, she was just a side thing without much importance, exploration or characterization at that. That was a while ago, and it was usually shit. The time passed, and I thought that her presence died here… how happy I am to be so wrong… oh boy. There is a chance that I missed a lot… though, damn me for being too lazy to check up something that’s not on the front page.

Now… the fic. It’s generally good. There is an excellent build up, the pacing is admirable and character drop is amazing. You managed to keep them in character and give them a lot of attention. Some more than others but who cares. It’s really respectable. Managing to make something similar, yet quite different to original content is brilliant. It is. If one oblivious soul asked me about Mana I’d probably direct him here. This is quite possibly the closest thing in my vision of her character. And whoo, you even realized the importance of background in these kinds of stories. When I was younger I didn’t see it as bizarre as this… though, it fits. Her perspective is well made, and there was enough material for us to realize what’s going on in the heads of other characters. Subtlety. I like it.

As for the greatness… I don’t’ know man. It’s great. It’s not linear. It really gives you the feel and makes one part of you wish that they could work it out. (bwaghahah) Though, that’s probably my feminine side… or my uncontrolled inner shipper. In reality, I probably know where this is going. Damn me for that. I wouldn’t exactly say that I know what you’re going to do… but still. Who knows? This is one of those things when ending determines the greatness of it as a whole. Hope you have something in store that might surprise me. If not, it doesn’t matter that much. I’m adding this to my favourites for great writing and a lot more reasons, but mostly to show my appreciation for Mana enthusiasm.

In the next chapter: Mana finds out that having sex with misanthropic boys was not as life-changing, self-defining as she thought it was, and on top of it all, she didn’t have an orgasm. Blame it on inexperienced teenage years. Asuka is jelous because Shinji was fist in something, so she hooks up with pen-pen. Kensuke’s harem, consisted of his tablet pc, Toji and his right hand finally resolves. Misato tests her wit on a whole new level… in staring contest with a mailbox. Rei makes an entrance… and does nothing. Shinji Angstsaurus Ikari kills everyone with his misery given human form… probably from death of his beloved. In the end, he finally comes to term that he has an uncontrollable fetish on immobile girls… Gendo approves.

Best of lucks with the final chapter, and thank you for sharing this story with us, mr. Adam.

And if you’re a reader, looking at the reviews to determine if this is worthwhile… it IS. Do it.
Hickabickaboo chapter 4 . 12/10/2012
Nice chap, really shows how twisted and sterile mana's training was. Plus, the omake was horribly funny.
NemesisZero chapter 4 . 12/8/2012
Honestly there's nothing particularly surprising here... all of this, or at least something like it, should be taken for granted just from the little we know of her background. Asuka and Rei's training was probably much the same.
qwertyui chapter 4 . 12/7/2012
i'm disapointed that this is nearly over. While i'm glad you gave Mana some backstory, I would've liked to something from Asuka or Misato in this chapter. the lines you write for those two are always perfect in my opinion.
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