Reviews for Kingdom Hearts: Endless War
forevermagik13 chapter 36 . 7/24/2013
Mind your tenses! You start out the chapter in present tense, as opposed to past tense.

Interesting what happened to Wonderland. You put a lot of thought into that.

So... does that mean Ray is not protecting any of the former Princesses' Worlds?

Also, this might screw with your headcannon, but feel free to ignore it. I always figured that when one Princess died, another was born. Is such the case in your universe? Or even if it is, the new Princesses would be really young, depending on your timeline? Or have no new people been born because everything's falling to pits? Feel free to ignore me.

*snicker* This combination of people you've got here are amusing. I started laughing right about where Ray wanted to stab a blade through Sephiroth's chest.

Ahaha... that really happened to Alice, didn't it? She was institutionalized? Or am I crazy?

Heheh, Sephy says he's not going to help people, but he does.

"'Cause that's never been done before." Man I love Braig's dry-humor.

Wait, I thought Alice was dead. Or is this like some remnant of her?

Twenty-six should be hyphenated.

Oh, are you following that other Alice video game? (the bloody knife tipped me off. And it would fit with the black hair.) Ah, yes. Yes you did.

Lea just carries around a cloak? Or was he already wearing one?

Don't you mean Wonderland made Ray mortal? Or am i misinterpreting this?

Agh! Was that Sora or Ray? I'd believe either.

Okay, I think that's all the questions I have for you.
forevermagik13 chapter 35 . 7/23/2013
Is there a particular reason why it was just Isa that joined them and not Lea?
Also, Liam, stop being cocky. You're just going to regret it. Also, get your anger under control!
Oh, I was going to say something, what was it? Um... oh yeah! Ray, sleep! Ansem says so!
Rinoa! Except... not. *sniffle*
Depressing that they have to kill the ones they love. Not a new idea, but certainly a powerful one.
Wow, Liam just saved Ven. Impressive.
"Come to" has one "o".
Oh Liam... you and your anger...and your chaos... (It's like Riku and darkness, except worse.)
forevermagik13 chapter 34 . 7/15/2013
Wow, dare I say it, am I caught up?

I really appreciate your use of the word "whilst." It's an underused word.

So, if Liam's fire, and Elysia is air, do you have a water and an earth?

Wow... like... "hot" jokes, really?

Lots of tactics, interesting to read.

Side note: "the group regrouped" is awkward and a tad repetitive. Consider "They regrouped"

Wow, you had me on the edge of my seat at the end there.
forevermagik13 chapter 33 . 7/14/2013
Wow, that chapter moved really fast. Lots of strategy and such. Really good! Not much else to say...
forevermagik13 chapter 32 . 7/13/2013
Ray! No! Dafuq! Stop! You just...! No! You can't! STAHP! Grr. Like... You are EFFING KINGDOM HEARTS! You can't just give all of that up! Despite the peaceful life you're being offered! You'll never ACTUALLY be able to live with yourself! ARGH!

See! You are already regretting it! *mutters insults under breath*

I just... ugh. Like... What is everyone else going to do?!

Side note, "so-called" and "care-free" have those hyphens :P

Listen to Fallan, Ray. Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about.

Heheh, that moment when I have to laugh a little about Rar's Riku... and why Edd's meddling forever intertwined rar's universe and mine. And how they're always going to be like that. Because Riku's never going to leave. Vexen might, I'm not sure yet.

Ugh, that moment, when Becca and Riku are a thing. And... ugh. Love triangles.
forevermagik13 chapter 31 . 7/12/2013
Well. That was interesting. Time travel is a funny thing. I don't really have much to say. It was good. I'll save questions for later. They'll all be answered by continuing reading, I would think.
forevermagik13 chapter 30 . 7/11/2013
Oh. Duh. Magik. Wow. Why did you think Radiant Garden/Hollow Bastion when you KNEW Castle Oblivion. And then you get confused, but it's your own darn fault. Anyway. Yeah...

What is Ray up to now?

Uh-oh, what is freaking Auron out? Like seriously, what now?

Heheh "home sweet home". Gotta love Repliku.

Gotta love Repliku's new powers. And him dodging all that stuff makes me think of one of Rar's recent chapters... heheh...

Ansem sounds like Luxord here. All that talk of cards.

Was it necessary for Auron needing to know he was going to die? Or could he have just chosen to die for his friends and the universe without that knowledge?

NURRRRR! Like, I wasn't all that upset at Auron's death. It just... I dunno. I mean, it's sad and he sacrificed himself. But if Even and Ienzo... *sniffle* Grrr. And that interaction between Repliku and Even. FEEEEEEELS.
forevermagik13 chapter 29 . 7/11/2013
I really liked how you set up for the battle. If I could have listened to music at the time, I would have, but I can't have music playing atm :P (Work.) Anyway, it seemed really good.

One thing I think might have worked better, is if you split up the giant Eclipse battle and then Ansem talking about what will be happening next/starting up the Replica project (which I am excited about.) It felt like a lot, all showing up in one chapter. Each individual part is powerful and well-written, but putting them right after each other, with no chapter break, felt a little bit... hmm, what's the word I'm looking for. It felt a bit much for one space.

That's my two-sense.
forevermagik13 chapter 28 . 7/11/2013
Who's the person thinking that at the beginning? Riku? Ray? Sora? Technically, Riku started this all when he was fifteen...

So Becca's pendant is keeping Riku safe? Because she got it in the Stardust Realm? (I may have missed something here.)

"Sideline" is one word :P

What is Ray up to?

Gonna take a guess... it's Sora writing.

*sniffle* Jiminy!

Ah! New Keyblades! Do you have pictures?
forevermagik13 chapter 27 . 7/8/2013
Something to think about: words like "shouted" and "bellowed" carry very specific connotations. Is everyone in your story always just yelling, or are they simply just speaking loudly? Sometimes the word "said" can go a long way, even if you add words like "angrily" or "happily" or "sadly" after it.

Hmm, remind me what Squall's past was? I've forgotten.

I do appreciate the imagery of the Memory Skyscraper going on here. I also find it interestingly amusing that they kept getting thrown into it. I have a sick sense of humor. Granted, I think I found it more amusing that the skyscraper itself didn't fall down from all the damage they likely did.

I am glad you didn't kill one of them there. We've had enough deaths for the moment.
forevermagik13 chapter 26 . 7/8/2013
Sometimes I wonder if Ray should go to anger management classes.

Hrm, now I should teach you the wonders of hyphens! They're a wonderful tool.

Ugh, is Elysia going to be okay? I mean, I'm sure she is but...

So what made Ray's locks on Liam break? The building chaos?

Why is the King hiding himself away so? Is it because he feels he failed? Also... wait... Elysia's attacking him now? Oh goodness! Like... well then!

I do like the characterization you've shown there, though. The "she's just a normal girl, not some princess of heart, or with the power of a god" or anything else. It's really interesting. And the pendant thing is cool, too. Anyway... moving on...
forevermagik13 chapter 25 . 7/8/2013
It's funny... I have more time to read when I'm at work than any other time. Wow. Okay.

I find it oddly amusing that everyone is dressing up for the funeral. It seems like something low on the list of priorities, given how they're kind of fighting for their survival.

Huh, after all the perceived hype about Vanitas, I was not expecting that. It does seem too simple of a solution for Ray to just block things like that, but at the same time, I know Ray has that power, so I guess it's not too far-fetched.

Oh, Chaos. I was hoping you had lost your hold on Liam. And why did Milo have to die? That's just uncalled for. Like, I know he was kinda a random character, but I don't think he needed to die.

Murrrr. I forgot about that prophecy. I don't like that prophecy. *deep sigh*

Welp. That was depressing.
forevermagik13 chapter 24 . 7/5/2013
I should probably read in here, as opposed to spending all of my time responding to your PMs.

Hrm, what are Lea and Isa up to?

Interesting take on Terra's powers. I kinda like it. One less thing to worry about, honestly. We already have Riku having issues with the darkness. We don't need Terra having those problems too.

Ah, okay, that's what. Okay then. Also, you capitalized both letters in "HE" when referring to Axel once. Now I can't decide if that was an accident, or intentional.

Xion was mentioned. ASLDKGHS:LDGH:ALSGHG

OMG, Braig is hilarious!

Oh man! You brought VAN back? Eff. Dang. Now we have to deal with HIM. Ugh.
forevermagik13 chapter 23 . 7/3/2013
So, not that I'm saying the massive amount of character development "on stage" is bad, I'm only mentioning this because you made a big deal of not so much plot development but character development in it's place. You CAN do character development and then have it NOT be in the story, or in a side-story like Rar and I do. *shrug* Then, of course, there are chapters that you, as the author, really just need to devote to character development "on stage". It happens. So long as SOMETHING is developing, it's okay. You're allowed to have fluffy chapters, or chapters where people are just sitting around playing cards. Yup.

*snicker* *snicker* SoKai. *snicker* *snicker* Heheh. Kids. *snicker* Sorry, I mean, I know they're technically a lot older in their heads, but sometimes I still see them as kids, so THEM talking about kids is just funny to me.

Erm, you never mentioned that Ray's nose was bloody. Then someone's handing him a tissue and he's wiping blood away. I think you're missing something there. (Or I was missing something.)

Oh eff! No, Riku, bad!

Funny story about Ray, I tend to imagine him looking like Pit from Kid Icarus. With wings and all. It's interesting and I don't know why. Sorry if that's weird.

Well then! On a scale of one to pissed, how is Ray?
forevermagik13 chapter 22 . 7/2/2013
Still kinda miffed about Aerith. *sigh* Hmm, but what does Zack being SOLDIER have to do with him not seeing her in the afterlife? That's what it seems to read like. Unless, you meant that because they were in different universes, they wouldn't go to the same afterlife? It was a bit confusing.

Glad to see some survivors' guilt. Makes it more real.

Nurr. I miss ZackxAerith.
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