|Reviews for Mass Symphony|
| Detective-Mason chapter 3 . 2/9
The mental image of Garrus huddled under blankies is adorable.
The first sentences about switching the other slot randomly, then the preternatural sense of choosing who would be in the field, it gave me quite a chuckle. Almost because that is walking the fine line of omniscient gamer and instinct Shepard decision. Also "floating sugary pillows"... hehe.
Liara's pacing and rechecking her pistol is a prime case of showing the reader the emotion without saying it. You can tell (rather Garrus can) that her nerves are up and a million thoughts are running through her head. The interaction between them is very endearing because Garrus is trying to cheer her up, and the way he does it is very much a big brother to a little sister (funny since Liara is quite older). Makes more sense since he does have a younger sister. Not sure if that was the intent, but it gave off that vibe.
Garrus' last comment about his mother gives me the feeling she isn't doing so well with her illness, and realizing the connection makes the tune more poignant than I thought.
Short and sweet; leaves us with more questions. From this chapter, I have a feeling family is going to play a part in this story. Good work.
| DONOVAN94 chapter 14 . 1/23
I started this last night and finally finished it! I love it!
You write Garrus extremely well, and I enjoyed reading the story from his point of view. It gave us some variety to the story we already know, and it showed how much insight you have into Garrus's character. You mixed in some AU elements that didn't have a big impact on the plot, but it did impact the characters.
One thing I was very surprised I enjoyed, was your Shepard. During the first chapter I almost turned off. I thought: "Oh no, this will be another ass-hole Shepard". But actually, I was extremely wrong, in a good way. I actually really liked the fact that you wrote Shepard differently from others. Everybody else seems to write her as this witty badass, or hard-as-nails acts-rather-then-talks. But I like this Shepard that was quiet, a paragon, and genuine in her love of her crew even if she didn't always show it.
I loved the mystery of finding out Shepard's past, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I got misty-eyed when she told Garrus her story.
The humour was also good. Sometimes people don't always nail the humour correctly, but I'm so happy to say that I giggled more then once or twice during this story.
The only thing that I can think of for you to improve, would be to watch your tenses. In the beginning there were a few words that slipped into present tense, but those got a lot less regular as the story progressed. Other then that, you have a very strong grasp of use of language and a very compelling method of storytelling.
I'm not sure if you'll read this, but I still feel compelled to say that I loved this story, and I highly recommend it to anyone who's checking out the reviews before they read. I'm so happy there's a sequel! So off I go to the next one!
| Detective-Mason chapter 2 . 1/1
I suppose I am biased to this chapter because I like to work on cars, but I did very much enjoy the addition of fixing the Mako during Shepard and Garrus' conversation. The action with the dialogue is both visual and never makes it feel... forced... for lack of a better word. This comes across as the first real conversation these two have had. Shepard still remains a mystery to Garrus and he only has bits and pieces of what the woman is really like.
You made this scene your own and it paints the personality for this Shepard. The backstory is given and glimpses of her psyche explain why she does what she does. Just how she knows how to fix the Mako is a testament that this isn't something new. Akuze, on the outside anyway, made her know the ins and outs of her enemy. Very much a calculated hunter, almost borderline obsessed. Her mask is still on, but I think the further this goes, the more of Shepard Garrus will see.
The little souvenir was a nice touch. Its perfect that Wrex responds by pulling his own.
| Elizabeth.Electrica chapter 14 . 4/19/2015
I love your work!
| theherocomplex chapter 9 . 2/16/2015
Oh, the slave collar - I'm a little wigged that Garrus thought it would be okay to touch the marks, without warning, because that can be a HUGE violation of privacy/bodily autonomy.
You captured Shepard's anxiety so well. We can feel how trapped she is - no, Garrus, sorry, you're not really the trapped one here - and her unexpected sympathy with Saren hits just the right note. And now the fun begins.
...but did she hook up with Kaidan?! I know, I know, not the biggest priority, but I want to save all characters I can from that fate :P
| theherocomplex chapter 8 . 2/14/2015
Oh, no, Shepard, don't do it! Don't let Kaidan comfort you! That's some serious self-punishment, heh.
I love that Garrus is able to see Shepard so clearly - her self-blame, her fury, and that he seeks to act as a balance for her. His ferocity is enough to balance hers, and that's what makes their eventual coming-together so effective. There's protectiveness and trust and respect.
Short chapter, but a lovely one!
| theherocomplex chapter 7 . 2/10/2015
Oh, poor Shepard :( Her loss is so much more poignant now that we've seen how much her family loved her, and what she was on the cusp of before the slavers hit.
And it's so lovely that Garrus knows too, and his first instinct is to keep this away from Shepard so it won't hurt her, but that he still hopes she can reclaim her past. Good man, Garrus.
You tell this story with so much conviction, and yet I still find myself craving more with every chapter. I want more of this delicious pain and longing and curiosity!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/24/2014
I never review. I'm a total ass as a reader and never, ever review. Until now. This is my second time reading your 5 part series and I just wanted to tell you thank you. I have a lot of favorite FF regarding Garrus/Shepard pairings but this story is beautiful. Your Shepard is alive. She is so much more then your standard copy and paste Commander you tend to read about in the majority of these stories. The progression of their relationship is an amazing thing to watch. I tend to stick to Garrus and Shepard based FF (Because there is NO Shepard without Vakarian) but I love your writing style so much that I am going to read your AU character stories as well. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story with us.
| TheWerdna chapter 9 . 8/4/2014
Well guys, I think Shepard has finally snapped. Was bound to happen eventually, lol.
Yeah, joking aside, I really don't blame Shepard here, screw the damn council. In that regard the writting was brilliant, you can just feel the rage and bitterness and frustration. Didn't even need to tell us once, it was all shown. Seriously, great job here, I have nothing but praise on this chapter.
| theherocomplex chapter 6 . 7/15/2014
Ah, what a lovely little interlude. I like the depth you're giving Liara here, and how it's clear she wants to help but won't let herself break Shepard's trust. What a nice, economical way to show her integrity.
Garrus' emotional state is beautifully communicated; he's frustrated, a little heartsore, and so very tired. But he has some hope now, and a friend in Liara. I can easily see her being a comfort to him, even this early in the games.
One note - make sure that you're closing dialogue tags correctly. For example, when you wrote 'That last was said so very sadly, that it pulled at Garrus' heartstrings, "You...admire her, too.", the comma after "heartstrings" should actually be a period.
Lovely, evocative work, as always!
| TheWerdna chapter 8 . 4/16/2014
Well, for such a short chapter there is so so much here to talk many confused and conflicting emotions here, each perfectly befitting the situation. On one hand you have the sadness of post Virmire, with everyone's reactions just making it hit hard. I don't even like Ashley that much, but just simply describing how some of the other members of the crew reacting to it, particularly with Wrex being visibly distraught, really hit it all home.
Then there's Garrus's being jelious over Kaidan, mixed with his fear that Ashely's death might drive Shepard to sacrificing herself. You really can feel Garrus's entertainment due to all this, fear of Shepard finding out how he feels, envy for Kaidan there, and worrying about Shepard. Its this conflicting feelings, and the confusion it brings, that is portrayed so beautifully here.
So yeah, I really loved this chapter, probably my favorite in the story thus far. Serious props go out here, you fit so much emotion into a very small amount of words, which is a very difficult thing to do. So without further adue, time to stop rambling and go onto the next one.
| TheWerdna chapter 7 . 4/14/2014
Awww, that is sweet, seeing Garrus finding more about Shepard's past, but also deciding to hide this footage of her as a child for the time being. Really shows how much Garrus cares about her. I wonder if he'll get together with her in ME1 in this story, or if She'll die before that happens and it'll have to wait till ME2
Besides that not much noes to way here. Great job, and onto the next one!
| TheWerdna chapter 6 . 4/12/2014
I liked the dialouge here between Garrus and Liara, was very well written and both characters sounded like they should. I even made it through having to read a bunch of Liara dialogue without wanting to bash my head against something to put me out of my misery, so thats really something. What? I don't like Liara... at all.
Though I have to say, a fart joke? Really? Really? . . . Really?
Anyhow, writing was solid over all here, few minor issues here and there, but as you've gotten past those issues in your later stories I won't bother you about it here. So yeah, great job, and onto the next one.
| TheWerdna chapter 5 . 4/9/2014
So, Garrus found out a bit more of Shepard's past, and with if some of the scars she carries. I like how he is a bit unsure what to do with this info, which makes sense. There is a good chance this sort of thing could upset Shepard if she's reminded of it more.
| TheWerdna chapter 4 . 4/8/2014
Ah, it's been awile since I last read any of this story, which means I'm once again caught up on your more recent stuff. As I've said before, it's really cool to see a story of the games events from the perspective of someone who's not Shepard. Writting is solid as well, though not quite as mastered as your later work (for obvious reasons). Anyhow, solid work overall, so as always onto the next one.