Reviews for Mass Symphony
Elizabeth.Electrica chapter 14 . 4/19
I love your work!
theherocomplex chapter 9 . 2/16
Oh, the slave collar - I'm a little wigged that Garrus thought it would be okay to touch the marks, without warning, because that can be a HUGE violation of privacy/bodily autonomy.

You captured Shepard's anxiety so well. We can feel how trapped she is - no, Garrus, sorry, you're not really the trapped one here - and her unexpected sympathy with Saren hits just the right note. And now the fun begins.

...but did she hook up with Kaidan?! I know, I know, not the biggest priority, but I want to save all characters I can from that fate :P
theherocomplex chapter 8 . 2/14
Oh, no, Shepard, don't do it! Don't let Kaidan comfort you! That's some serious self-punishment, heh.

I love that Garrus is able to see Shepard so clearly - her self-blame, her fury, and that he seeks to act as a balance for her. His ferocity is enough to balance hers, and that's what makes their eventual coming-together so effective. There's protectiveness and trust and respect.

Short chapter, but a lovely one!
theherocomplex chapter 7 . 2/10
Oh, poor Shepard :( Her loss is so much more poignant now that we've seen how much her family loved her, and what she was on the cusp of before the slavers hit.

And it's so lovely that Garrus knows too, and his first instinct is to keep this away from Shepard so it won't hurt her, but that he still hopes she can reclaim her past. Good man, Garrus.

You tell this story with so much conviction, and yet I still find myself craving more with every chapter. I want more of this delicious pain and longing and curiosity!
Guest chapter 1 . 8/24/2014
I never review. I'm a total ass as a reader and never, ever review. Until now. This is my second time reading your 5 part series and I just wanted to tell you thank you. I have a lot of favorite FF regarding Garrus/Shepard pairings but this story is beautiful. Your Shepard is alive. She is so much more then your standard copy and paste Commander you tend to read about in the majority of these stories. The progression of their relationship is an amazing thing to watch. I tend to stick to Garrus and Shepard based FF (Because there is NO Shepard without Vakarian) but I love your writing style so much that I am going to read your AU character stories as well. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story with us.
TheWerdna chapter 9 . 8/4/2014
Well guys, I think Shepard has finally snapped. Was bound to happen eventually, lol.

Yeah, joking aside, I really don't blame Shepard here, screw the damn council. In that regard the writting was brilliant, you can just feel the rage and bitterness and frustration. Didn't even need to tell us once, it was all shown. Seriously, great job here, I have nothing but praise on this chapter.
theherocomplex chapter 6 . 7/15/2014
Ah, what a lovely little interlude. I like the depth you're giving Liara here, and how it's clear she wants to help but won't let herself break Shepard's trust. What a nice, economical way to show her integrity.

Garrus' emotional state is beautifully communicated; he's frustrated, a little heartsore, and so very tired. But he has some hope now, and a friend in Liara. I can easily see her being a comfort to him, even this early in the games.

One note - make sure that you're closing dialogue tags correctly. For example, when you wrote 'That last was said so very sadly, that it pulled at Garrus' heartstrings, "You...admire her, too.", the comma after "heartstrings" should actually be a period.

Lovely, evocative work, as always!
TheWerdna chapter 8 . 4/16/2014
Well, for such a short chapter there is so so much here to talk many confused and conflicting emotions here, each perfectly befitting the situation. On one hand you have the sadness of post Virmire, with everyone's reactions just making it hit hard. I don't even like Ashley that much, but just simply describing how some of the other members of the crew reacting to it, particularly with Wrex being visibly distraught, really hit it all home.

Then there's Garrus's being jelious over Kaidan, mixed with his fear that Ashely's death might drive Shepard to sacrificing herself. You really can feel Garrus's entertainment due to all this, fear of Shepard finding out how he feels, envy for Kaidan there, and worrying about Shepard. Its this conflicting feelings, and the confusion it brings, that is portrayed so beautifully here.

So yeah, I really loved this chapter, probably my favorite in the story thus far. Serious props go out here, you fit so much emotion into a very small amount of words, which is a very difficult thing to do. So without further adue, time to stop rambling and go onto the next one.
TheWerdna chapter 7 . 4/14/2014
Awww, that is sweet, seeing Garrus finding more about Shepard's past, but also deciding to hide this footage of her as a child for the time being. Really shows how much Garrus cares about her. I wonder if he'll get together with her in ME1 in this story, or if She'll die before that happens and it'll have to wait till ME2

Besides that not much noes to way here. Great job, and onto the next one!
TheWerdna chapter 6 . 4/12/2014
I liked the dialouge here between Garrus and Liara, was very well written and both characters sounded like they should. I even made it through having to read a bunch of Liara dialogue without wanting to bash my head against something to put me out of my misery, so thats really something. What? I don't like Liara... at all.

Though I have to say, a fart joke? Really? Really? . . . Really?

Anyhow, writing was solid over all here, few minor issues here and there, but as you've gotten past those issues in your later stories I won't bother you about it here. So yeah, great job, and onto the next one.
TheWerdna chapter 5 . 4/9/2014
So, Garrus found out a bit more of Shepard's past, and with if some of the scars she carries. I like how he is a bit unsure what to do with this info, which makes sense. There is a good chance this sort of thing could upset Shepard if she's reminded of it more.
TheWerdna chapter 4 . 4/8/2014
Ah, it's been awile since I last read any of this story, which means I'm once again caught up on your more recent stuff. As I've said before, it's really cool to see a story of the games events from the perspective of someone who's not Shepard. Writting is solid as well, though not quite as mastered as your later work (for obvious reasons). Anyhow, solid work overall, so as always onto the next one.
theherocomplex chapter 5 . 3/21/2014
SHORT RANGE BALLISTIC LISTENING. DONE. I AM SO DONE.

Interesting to see the differing perspectives - how easily Tali got information, but how closed Shepard is to her crew. I NEED to see what makes this Shepard tick, with her heart like a metronome and her Mindoir past.

There's such great energy here - Garrus' curiosity, his banter with Tali - that small mistakes are easily skipped over. One thing: it's Kaidan, not Kaiden :) And the paragraph beginning with "FEROS!" is a bit confusing - I would consider breaking it into two sentences for better flow, because it's hard to follow as is.

Getting closer to peeling back this Shepard's layers - oh, Garrus, when will you release she comes to talk to YOU, no matter what she allows Kaidan?
theherocomplex chapter 4 . 3/13/2014
A short chapter, yes, but since you're dealing with events with which (many) people are familiar, it makes sense to move ahead a little quickly.

I did see a few too many adverbs - I'm generally fine with them (see what I did there?), but I would try to find more direct, action-based ways to describe events. Place us in the characters' heads by what they say and do to each other, rather than smushing it all to one word.

I'm so jealous of your energy level; there's so much passion rolling under these events, and every inch that Garrus peels back Shepard tantalizes me even more. What IS going on with her?

All in all, a good chapter - if anything, I'd like to see more. Don't tell me the fight is furious, show me how, show me Garrus' frustration and fear in trying to protect Shepard. I think that's much, much easier said that done.
TenDollarT chapter 7 . 2/24/2014
Good characterization. I like the performance as a means of making the comparison.
Good Tali last chapters as well. Almost note-perfect.
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