Reviews for Chuck vs Sarah, Sam, & Lady Valkrie Writer's Cut
Hotski chapter 3 . 9/29/2012
Sorry, really sorry for such a late review, I'm behind like 50k words in different stories for the last week, a new expansion for World of Warcraft and school makes it hard to find any deadtime to read fics on. Anyways,

Good chapter. So the Emotion Altering Intersect made it look like Sarah doing those stuff with the guys. Am I following it correctly?
wassupchuck chapter 3 . 9/25/2012
loved it the first time loving it again, can't wait for more. Thanks
Paladinobr chapter 3 . 9/24/2012
Very good chapter. I hate Shaw and what he did to Sarah and Chuck! Can't wait for the next chapter.
uplink2 chapter 3 . 9/24/2012
Great chapter.I had to go back and reread the original as there were somethings I didn't remember clearly and thought you had changed up some things but I was wrong. Just more detail that was really needed. I know we haven't hit bottom yet but this is definitely a better version.

What I always liked about this story and even more in this rewrite is you really are taking so many great shots at so much of the ridiculous storytelling that the Final Exam, American Hero, Other Guy story arc has. Final Exam has the whole offensive story of government sanctioned murder as a final test for agents, Hero has some of the biggest plot holes ever on the series with Other Guy full of them as well but we are just supposed to excuse them because we got 3 great Charah scenes and they end up together. None of the dangling plot threads are resolved but just thrown out because it was 3.13 and they had to put them together. As absurd as much of this version is, and I mean that with great affection, it is so far more honest, real and plausible than canon. Here yuo do end up resolving all of those threads. Bravo my friend.

Looking forward the improvements coming as we are really now into the meat of the story.
KryptonitePoison chapter 3 . 9/24/2012
Shaw sure was despicable in the stoty, he was on th show too. Chuck saving The log never sat well with me. I was always like, LET HIM DIE!, LET HIM DIE. But that's Chuck would do. He wouldn't sleep with those women though, but that's for another time. Well, Shaw is dead. On the one hand, OH YEAH! YAY HAY HAY! On the other I wish he wasn't so when she learns the truth she can cut it off and shove it down his throat. She got the recording device. She'll see what looks like Chuck killing Shaw. Along with what that slime bucket told her, and that drug in her system. She'll believe it. Chuck should have figured out Sarah was being drugged, he is a genius after all. I can't wait for Sarah to learn the truth. I ment to write this earlier. On the show after Chuck saved Shaw. That should have proved to Sarah that he was the same Chuck right there. She was still going to leave with that pile of crape! Well, thanks for writing. :)
lardybloater chapter 3 . 9/24/2012
I have read the first edition of this story recently to compare this and the old version.

This version for me is getting better and better, I like the way your a fleshing out the story more, giving us more detail in whats going on.

As you say the story is a hard story for quite a few chapters, I'm looking forward to the rest of the story being given more depth.

Well done, look forward to the future chapters and what you do with them!
tw200 chapter 3 . 9/23/2012
Well Shaw is dead that is a huge plus.. Thank goodness that Sarah picked up the tape she did or she may never believe Chuck. It will be interesting to see what happens when she and Chuck put all the pieces and parts together and she sees that she has been drugged and used for some time. That is not going to sit well with her or Chuck. If Shaw were around when she realizes what has happened she would take a knife to him and cut off whatever she wanted. Tooo bad he died, I would have liked to read that. Hope we are through the rough waters and we can look forward to a little clear sailing.. Thanks
esardi chapter 3 . 9/23/2012
Wait why did you decide to cut it off here? I think that what happens next is what you needed to show. That is my opinion anyway.

I liked that there is much more explanation then the original; however, it will serve you well if you allow yourself to have longer chapters. It is much better if you do that than cutting off a chapter because it is getting to big.

Thanks for the update.
phnxgrl chapter 3 . 9/23/2012
Good action chapter. I loved how Shaw even dying tried to manipulate Sarah's emotions! Please continue.
KryptonitePoison chapter 2 . 9/19/2012
This was a terrible time on the show. I hated so much of season 3. The way Sarah treated Chuck was despicable. Yeah Prague was a mistake. Yeah he's a different guy. But he's no killer. Unlike plywood man. You put in a lot of good things in the scene in castle. A lot of things I never thought of. The thing I always hated about the scene in castle is that Sarah told Chuck she saw him kill the mole but she didn't, she couldn't have. I wish Chuck had pointed that out to her then she would have had some doubt and maybe she would have believed him. That might have changed everything. I'm just wondering in your story is Sarah going to tell the log her real name? And is she going to wear earrings that he gave her after he tries to kill her and after she's with Chuck?
uplink2 chapter 2 . 9/19/2012
So I went back and reread a bit of the original to remember more of what this story is about, I had read it long ago. Now I remember how much I enjoyed it. Sure the first five to ten chapters are a rough ride but I think the "redux" version will be even better than the original. I loved what Bill has done and think this one will be the same especially in light of these first two chapters.

I agree with you about that scene in Castle. It was manipulative as most of that story was back then. It was the first time Sarah didn't trust Chuck in the series and you are right they should have dealt more with that. But they were facing a deadline of getting them together 42 minutes of screen time later. So they just poked the angst button on full and then ignored it from that point on. One of the many dangling plot holes they never dealt with so they could have their stupid trapezoid. It was all contrived to get them to 3.13 and none of the story mattered it seems by the huge holes and dangling story elements that were just thrown away. It seemed they felt as long as they got them together in 3.13 people would forgive how badly they wrote their journey there. The destination was great but it wasn't enough of a payoff for the misery they put us through. Many of us felt they didn't earn DYLM they were just handed it because it was 3.13. And no matter how badly their contrived story was we were supposed to forgive that just because they gave us Sarah's "yes".
Musical Mania chapter 2 . 9/18/2012
I enjoyed this chapter. Looking forward to another one. :)
tw200 chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
Yes there is every such a small light at the end of the tunnel. You are a great writer and storyteller. I understand that the sun just can't shine all the time... if we didn't have some clouds we wouldn't appreciate the sun. So my philosophy is, , the darker the pit we finally dig out of the better we will feel being out. Sooo don't blow Shaw's head off quite yet, and I will feel soo much better when you do. Am I too understand from this story that the Ring guys, the ring director, is going to shoot Shaw thinking he can have Sarah and force Chuck to do whatever they demand? Maybe I misunderstood that. Perhaps a re-read is in order... Thanks tw
Paladinobr chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
A necessary chapter but a good one. You reminded me how much I hate Shaw, lol.
phnxgrl chapter 2 . 9/16/2012
Chuck had no chance against the poison Shaw was telling Sarah! He zoned into her guilt and used it against her. She listening to that wormtongue was her undoing! Please continue.
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