Ash's wish didn't remove her from the social hierarchy. It placed her at the highest position in the hierarchy. The nobles have the ability to control their commoners like puppets through their implants. Ash does the same to nobles and commoners alike through her magic. It's only natural that said magic manifests as puppet strings. Her wish wasn't worded like most, but rather was a command (to give a command) to leave Lily alone. Not too unlike the kind of command the nobles tried to give her after her wish that, due to her magic placing her at a higher position than even the nobles, she was under no obligation to follow. Calling her costume "doll's clothing" just furthers the metaphors of a toy to be played with.

She's certainly using a lot of magic from this though with no way to recover it.

Ah, so this would be the rogue colony that was implanting mind control in its citizens as mentioned in "To the Stars" wouldn't it? Full military intervention in the end and all?

Looks interesting. You've caught my attention, if only because it was a hell of a shock.

When I first discovered this story, a fanfiction of a fanfiction, I was a little skeptical...

Totally glad I gave it a shot, this is rather awesome. I am wondering, however, why the MSY hasn't made contact with anyone.

Enjoyed story. Hope you decide to continue it.

So far a compelling story. I like the attention to detail with the world you created. It ties in well with To the Stars.

I'm not sure how I feel about this story. It's darker than what I usually read and seems a *little* thin compared to "To The Stars" proper but it's still a damn sight better written than most of what's out there. As far as nitpicking goes, I have to wonder why Inky is letting Amy show her powers in front of normal people and even encouraging it. I also have to wonder how Felwater was able to issue commands to his...people...after he freed them. F...damn this story is dark.

You have an interesting interpretation of how Godoka made the self-interest of the Incubators benevolent.

Good worldbuilding too.

Hope to see whether Mark is a good guy or not.

Did you draw from influences outside of "To The Stars" by the way? I saw a story like this done poorly in a good sci-fi show.

Anyway, obligatory blah blah good story hope you continue.

This is some fascinating worldbuilding. I love the intricacy of the various mind-control methods, and the action scenes are really well done. "Inky" is downright charming and helpful, for his kind :) Can't wait to see how Ash's adventures develop.

The plot thickens I see, sadly for Ash she's really no good at keeping operational security, so one expects logically that things will get quite messy really quickly... probably. Excepting whatever Inky or potential infiltrating people might do.

For the rest everything still seems to fit the source materials as well ,and the over all writing level is more the sufficient, good work really.

Please write out the numbers as words. E.g. "she cried out the loss of the last three years"

Damn, the mother's still alive. Well, I guess it was too soon to throw Ash into a fit of rage and despair. Maybe later. But overall I'm satisfied with the outcome of this chapter.

I've just noticed but, you know Juan is a male name, right?

Also, since it seems the higher ups know she's Ashley Rake, why hasn't the local equivalent of the military stormed her house yet?

Oh my, at least Andrea is safe and an ally has been found in Mark. A bad guy had bitten the dust and Ash is gaining popularity, though I wonder what Juan is thinking? You did it once again, giving an epic story with an epic ending. You're doing Hieronym proud :3 Keep up the good work; I want to keep coming back for more!

I see where this is going, but... didn't he have to free his collection ifirst/i?

This chapter seemed to be tacked on with no mention of the MSY and the MSY had finished Globalization by Later 21st century-Early 22 century. And yet they have no mention here! And being part od the MSY should be mandatory and the Incubator should have mentioned the organization.

Your timeline is wrong. Human Trafficking in TtS timeline could be abolished before the unification wars of 2160-2230 by the MSY's use of the Soul Guard to crush such things thus this occurring in 2370 makes no sense