|Reviews for Dragon Ball All Together|
| Tam Briefs chapter 2 . 11/22/2014
wow I mean that ! tisfuru that he wants to make these filthy estateresrtes eggs in pan ? wow fantastic segiloo facinooo mee bayyy
| Tam Briefs chapter 1 . 11/22/2014
uyyy intrigues happened to bread ? XD I encantooo much muchooo uyy great trunks and bread are married xd bayyy
| Miuyun chapter 18 . 11/10/2013
çool story even though i spoiled the story for myself since i figured some stuff out before it happened but i love your story
| Miuyun chapter 7 . 11/10/2013
i AM guessing that her mother was pan right and i have not read ahead since i just started to read the story witch has an excellent plot
| CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY LOVE chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
WOWEEEEE...its cool, but i dont get why the dialogue doesnt have " but instead.
| Jaedeon Sierra chapter 3 . 9/15/2012
Your story idea I find interesting, it has a lot of potential.
Having a bit of problem reading it...I could get through the grammar issues but the blocking overall ...my eyes fel bombarded with print and uncommon puncuation. May take qute a few chapters to get used to this style (got used to my grandmothers...she came from another country, so I have no doubt I can get through this).
I think I'm going to let go of my usual critiquing for this one .
Positives: I see where you're trying to block your scene changes...its subtle but helps.
You are blocking ok.
The Length of your chapters seems to work for you.
Weaker areas: Takes a bit to get used to the unusual puncuation marks. Hard to see visually as I'm reading at times (as one reads we do kinda 'visualize' the story in our heads); there's a disconnect that happens pulling me out of the story from time to time...but not sure why...it'll become clearer as I read on and can pinpoint whats going on with that.
Overall : Good story idea, its interesting.
Until next time...later.