Woaaaaaah
You're a good writer. There's a care in the way that you write, like I can lett that you were thorough and honest in your portrayal of Mass Effect and the characters too.
You captured all of the squadmates voices and kept each of them true to their respective nature. I'm sincerely impressed. Consider me a fan.

Again, pretty faithful rendition and capture of the tone. Very evocative of the memories I have in-game.

Will be interest to see where things diverge in terms inner thoughts and dialog - the way you've set the stage is good and I'm now looking forward to unique insights and little moments the game didn't show.

Re: Chapter 1

I like the narration tone and style of this - it's easy for me to get lost in it like it's some kind of official in-house write up of the script. Found myself reminiscing as I went along.

I think I would have liked it if Jenkins' death was focused on a bit more...but then again, I just like watching him die, so that's just me.

"Why do we even bother?" Loved that line from Wrex.
Great job as always, brains ma-boy! Wonderful squad interaction and and true to the canon, but in a good way. look forward to more!
Yours in service, Bahoogasmif

Awesome retelling of that mission, expecially the explantion for what happened to the rest of Liara's freakn team (something the games never really explained. Was she alone? Were there others but were killed? Did they all fall in lava randomly? Bioware: "Fucked if we know")

Cool chapter too!

One critique though: I didn't mind when Tali called the Mako a tank, but I don't see Ashley doing it. It isn't a tank-tanks have tracks. The Mako could probably be better designated as an Armored Personnel Carrier, or possibly Infantry Fighting Vehicle, depending on your definition (I know my dad only considers something an IFV if it has firing ports for it's passengers, but that might be because of his old Cold War ways).

Oh yes, this definitely made up for your story's inactivity. Loved the character interaction and the fight scenes—all very well written.

Only caught one or two errors, so I don't think you need to worry about editing.

All in all a wonderful chapter!

Excellent chapter! I loved the tension between the newly introduced squadmates as well as some responses to the silly things people sometimes said-though I would have liked a line about Saren not being without resources since he apparently had an army of Geth working for him...I never got why the Council didn't take that part seriously.

Good stuff, now do moar.

Oh boy, I really like those interactions!

Shepard you are acting like a moron again! GET AN AUTOPSY OF NIHLUS IF YOU WANT TO PROVE SAREN WAS THE KILLER. Come on even forensics in the modern world can track a gunshot wound to the gun it was fired from and from there track it to the killer. That is the most definitive piece of evidence you need and is much more valuable than a fucking recording of Saren's voice. Once again Shepard is a moron, and to continue the list of moronic leaders, Anderson Hackett TIM Dalatras Wrex Wreav Kirahae Tali (I JUST WENT THERE) Garrus Miranda Jacob and any of the other all the Xenos loving hacks in mass effect.

Ha! Love the Mako ride, Tali's reaction was hilarious. Really liking this story, so keep it up!

great stuff and the final "quarian with a stomach ache" line from ME2 was a side splitter :)

looking forward to the next!

Not bad, but I think that first part with Ashley is a bit exagerated. Army isn't democratic and has it's military secrets. How many frendly krogans you gona met in ME1? Turians are the bigest humanity's competitors in galaxy. An if I remember corectly she never told anything bad about Tali. Ashley has a good reasons to be cautious. And I think that Wrex will eat Garus alive for such "soft" talking.

good way to introduce her to the mako, give her a little first hand experience huh?

glad you finally pumped this one out brains, its a goodin'!