|Reviews for Past Imperfect|
| rrstarlight chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
I loved your story, it was written so well, and the characterization of Dean was very well done. I can't comment on Sam's as there didn't seem to be much of one but since it was Dean centric, that makes sense. Loved Dean's inner dialogue, but would love another chapter with Sam's thoughts.I'm a 'dean-girl' but actually prefer most stories from Sam's point of view. I think Sam would be horrified about what he'd done and would take care of Dean so I was disappointed it was left as it was, making Sam seem a bit cruel for leaving Dean on the ground,no matter how angry he was at him. Hoep to see more stories from you. Thank you for sharing them with us.
| PsychoPicasso chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
I loved your story! I do see where Sam was coming from; he was angry, hurt, and felt 'betrayed'. I would love to see a second chapter! I really love this... I can't wait for more stories from you! :)
| Hundley chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
I wasn't going to comment, given that the reviews are a back and forth Dean -vs- Sam thing. There's so much of that coming from the Sam-favoring fans these days where the show is concerned, I wouldn't have thought it would work its way over to fanfic...but, the story was too well-written to leave it on that single note.
I really like the the concept you have based the story on. I like Dean's internal dialogue; since he is the one who is hurt, it makes sense that the POV would be him. If it were from Sam, the story would be different than the one you planned. As it is, you have brought out exactly where Sam is coming from. That, along with what we saw in the show, gives a solid foundation to Sam's side. What I'm saying is, the way the show ended the episode of Amy's death, I think Dean's side is more rich for exploration in a fanfic.
I hope this isn't the only chapter. There's a lot more than can be explored in the story. I saw no weakness in your writing. Enjoyed it very much.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
Thank you for your thought out and well written response. All valid points, and thank you for taking the time to come back and make them. You're right, Sam doesn't have much of a voice, but that's for two reasons. One, it's written from Dean's point of view. We can only see Sam's motivation through Dean's ability to suss it out. And two, this is because Dean has always been my Point of View character. He just seems to 'talk' to me more than Sam does. My other two SPN fics are also Dean's POV, mostly, too. I imagine if you were a writer, you would write from Sam's POV, since he seems to speak to you more than Dean does.
RE Sam's anger: again, you're right. In canon, Sam has never really shown 'hatred' toward Dean. However, we're not with them every moment, and the question that rolled around in my head was "what happened that night between the police station and dumping the heads?" It went with the question "What would make Sam mad enough to hit Dean?" which is what started the whole thing in the first place. Maybe if Dean had left well enough alone, maybe if Dean hadn't poked when the emotional wound of losing Amy wasn't still open and gaping, Sam would have done what we always know he does and just swallowed his anger, wrapped himself up in his hurt, and left. But then I wouldn't have had a fic. So Dean had to poke, had to push and push in the way only Dean can (no one can get under these two brother's skins like each other can) and got himself clocked. And without Sam's point of view, we don't know what was going on in his head afterward. Maybe he left because he was so upset about having crossed the line with Dean that Amy was just an excuse at that point. Maybe after he went into the room, he came back out for Dean. Maybe it broke the dam in him and he had a good cry in the shower because the situation was too effed up for words. We just don't know. The boys didn't tell me that part of the story.
As for Lisa, I never said I wasn't trying to make a comparison because you're right, I was very much trying to. The overlapping scenes were intended to show that the last time he was hurt like this, there WAS someone there to comfort him, and there's a kind of guilty want of that. What I did say is his reflection on it wasn't a commentary on his relationship with her, or my interpretation of the suitability of the relationship, only a reflection on slightly happier times. We know Dean is prone to bouts of overwhelming depression, moments when he's just ready to lay there and throw in the towel, usually when Sammy is concerned. (Croatoa for one). So while in a day to day dust up Dean might have lashed back, he's already wondering from the start of the story if this one action of his has been enough to finally push Sam away for good. So, I think it's perfectly in character for him to lay there a minute and reflect on something else, something that might even be bittersweet in his mind.
I've never thought one brother is better than the other, they are both so deliciously flawed. And that is the joy of writing in the SPN fandom, because even the villains are more flawed than evil.
BTW, I just have to say the best compliment I have ever gotten is that my writing is good enough for you to have expectations of where the story is going to end up. Thank you for that. You should consider getting a account, I think it would be interesting to debate motivation, but not out here in the open on the review board. Thank you again.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/13/2012
Admittedly, I was offended for Sam as a character when I read your story initially, and my review was the direct result of my feelings after having read it, without my 'filter,' so I do apologize for the vitriol. I stumbled across the story and was sucked into it (which is actually very well written) before I understood what it was about and then felt blindsided by what seemed to me to be one sided writing and a Dean bias. Having seen your rebuttal, I felt that I owed the story another viewing, and tackling why it irks me in a cooler more critical way.
It's true, you do bring both sides of the brother's argument into the story in the dialogue section. But other than this one area, we get nothing of Sam's views what-so-ever. No inside monologue as you gave to Dean, no reflection of past events and relationships, as you gave to Dean, and no motivation for actions, as you gave to Dean. You even go so far as to define Sam's anger in Dean's terms, in his eyes, and with his reactions to it. But nothing from Sam's perspective at all. It's actually so much like how the brothers are written in the show it's scary. You say that the story is just a little blurb and not long enough for much character development, which is a valid point. Yet, Dean's character seems very well defined; his motivations are clear, his thinking is complex and understandable. Sam? Not so much, as in really, not at all.
You compare Sam's anger while they are in the car to when Lucifer nearly beat Dean to death in Swan Song. When, in canon, has Sam ever shown that level of anger or violence toward Dean, so that he was literally "seething hatred?" Why would you apply to Sam a level of anger that belonged to Lucifer (and not to Sam at all) and then use that against him? Dean implies that he is worried that Sam will attack him, or hit him in his anger, but when has that happened in canon? Almost never, as that is not how Sam deals with things; it's actually more the way Dean deals with things; Sam walks away. Not necessarily a better solution as far as Dean is concerned, but it would have been more true to character.
Re; the Lisa situation and the two episodes of falling down the stairs that are depicted. You said that you weren't intending to make a comparison between how Sam and Lisa treated him after each event. But my response is, how are we NOT supposed to make a comparison when the two events are so similar, written so closely together, and when it is clear we are to prefer Lisa's treatment of Dean to Sam's treatment of Dean? Sam comes across as cruel and wonton where Lisa is warm, loving and concerned. You set up the comparison and Sam comes across as lacking which in turn implies criticism. How could anyone side with Sam when he is being so callus and mean? He literally knocks Dean down the stairs in anger, and then doesn't appear to care one bit. If this had been Soulless Sam, I would have gotten it. I wouldn't have liked it, but I would have understood or accepted the motivation. But with Soulful Sam, when have we ever seen such cruelty in canon toward anyone, let alone Dean? Never; so again, 'out of character' IMO, with nothing from Sam's side of things to show if he felt guilty about what he had just done or why he did it in the first place. And Dean's reaction as well seems out of character to me. The Dean I know and love would never have put up with crap like that from Sam or from anyone. He pounded Soulless Sam into the ground for less cruelty than he shows in this story.
I guess this story bothers me more than others like it because it IS so well written. I expect a writer with abilities like yours to be more well rounded I guess, more thorough and more objective. There are many, many stories all over this website that paint Sam as the "Bad" brother and Dean as the "Saint," but most are so poorly written that I can happily write them off as uninformed and immature. Yours, not so much. And to be fair, I am not a writer, just a reader, so the issues of balance are probably much more complex than I realize, I'm sure. I am sorry that this is so long and that I am so critical, but I felt, after your (very reasonable) response, that you deserved more from me than just my ire. You requested a less heated response, so here it is. You can write Sam however you please, it's your prerogative as a writer. But even after a second, and more careful reading, I'm afraid that haven't changed my opinion.
| birthsister chapter 1 . 9/13/2012
I'm sorry that you don't seem to have read the same story I wrote. Personally, I think they're both acting like *ssholes...Dean crossed a line, Sam is hurt and angry, and neither is acknowledging the issues between them. Neither is ever a saint, and Dean certainly isn't portrayed as such (at least, I hope he isn't). As for Lisa, I never said she was perfect for Dean, or even better for him than Sam...only that in a moment of pain, he thought back to a time that didn't suck quite as much. Admittedly, the characters might be a little two dimensional but in a little ficlet like this there is only so much space to flesh them out. This is only a snapshot, and not meant to be any kind of defining moment in their lives. Obviously, eventually, they moved on. Please, if you're going to leave criticism (which I am not opposed to, btw), make it constructive criticism. I would love to know how to make the story better, but leaving a heated review that sounds more like your proprietary sensibilities are hurt more than anything else isn't terribly constructive. But thank you for reading, anyway.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/13/2012
Oh boy, another Dean is a saint and martyr and Sam is an asshole fics. We haven't had enough of those, have we. OOC and very badly so. Since when does Sam spew "hatred" toward Dean? Since when has he ever in the show been so impatient, rough and uncaring with Dean? Never, that's when. Lisa was better for Dean than Sam is? Really LISA? That's the comparison you're making? Sam knocks Dean down the stairs? Sam punches Dean?! No, that's Dean's gig, he punches Sam, not the other way around. He punched Sam in this very episode as a matter of fact. Ugh! So incredibly one sided, unrealistic, biased, and seen through 'Saint Dean' colored glasses.