|Reviews for Personal Assistant|
| Taboo22 chapter 4 . 1/1/2013
great happy new year
| chocoholic6otaku chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
Any of the above. And to you as well!
| Smiles123 chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
UPDATE and happy new year to you too! and any of them work because Hermione lived in England although Hogwarts was in scotland i think. and United Kingdom and Britain are the same thing i think. United Kingdom and Britain stand for all three countries and England is obviously just England so any work!
| Miss Piggy1990 chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
Very good story .
Happy new year to you too
| TsukiyoTenshi chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
Hermione's going to have one hell of a headache as time goes on...
| SakuraDragomir chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
happy new year!
please update soon
i can't wait for more adventure and action
it's britain if you are wondering where hermione is from.
i can't wait for hermione to meet the avengers soon
i can't wait for hermione to show her powers and the avengers' reaction to her
i can't wait for hermione to tell her life story
| thewitchofthewest chapter 3 . 12/12/2012
Great story! I love both Harry Potter and The Avengers, and Hermione working for Stark seems like the perfect match.
| JadeObsession chapter 3 . 12/11/2012
it's interesting insofar
| hateme101 chapter 3 . 12/8/2012
this seems interesting
| MelodySong231 chapter 3 . 12/3/2012
hmm...interested to see where this is gonna end up...
| ILoveAnime89 chapter 3 . 12/1/2012
Interesting update again soon.
| twilightjazz chapter 3 . 11/22/2012
great so keep it up
| Vaneesa85 chapter 3 . 11/13/2012
Loving it please continue soon.
| Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis chapter 3 . 11/12/2012
Ooooohhh... I wonder how that will go x3. Tony is a difficult man to deal with lol
| Lyrannae chapter 3 . 11/12/2012
I really like the way you've written Hermione! I think you've characterized her well so far. Some crossover writers just chuck characters into situations without really planning it out, but you've obviously thought about this, and come up with a very logical explanation for why Hermione would want to work for Tony - namely, the fact that Tony is so smart and respected in his field. And I liked her comment of Iron Man being in Gryffindor colours; that was quite clever. This was an interesting read! I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story.
I do some editing work IRL, so I'm just going to quickly point out a few grammatical errors I've noticed in your writing. I'll use examples from your first chapter, since that's where I noticed them first :P
- To start off, you have a bit of tense confusion occasionally. For example: "Hermione arrived at Stark Towers and looks up at the building." ARRIVED is past tense, whereas LOOKS is present tense. Most of your writing in this fic is in past tense so having the occasional present tense is a bit confusing.
- I've also noticed some comma splicing. For example: "Today was the beginning of a new life for her, the war was over and she had finished her education..." Instead of a comma here, there should be a semicolon, because you are starting a new thought process.
- Thirdly, well, this was just a sentence from your first chapter that bothered me: "After only a few minutes Pepper knew Miss Hermione Granger was perfect, in her late twenties, she was smart and well educated and a hard worker, plus she wasn't a fan girl." I found this sentence hard to read because of its structure. Since Pepper is listing off the ways that make Hermione perfect, you should separate her list of reasons from the statement "Hermione was perfect" with a colon or hyphen. For example, you could instead write something like this: "After only a few minutes, Pepper knew that Miss Hermione Granger was perfect: she was in her late twenties, smart and well-educated, a hard worker, and most importantly, not a fangirl." Since I used "she was" to start off the list, I didn't need to re-write "she was" for every following item on the list. This way, the whole sentence flows better.
Anyways, I'd like to invite you to check out a site called . It's a Harry Potter text-based RPG where we create characters in the magical world and write about them, interacting with other authors and improving our writing skills along the way. Personally it's been quite helpful for me in strengthening my "voice" and writing style. Our new term is starting up soon, so we are accepting new authors right now; if you're interested in trying it out we'd certainly love to have you on board! :)