|Reviews for Effloresco Secundus|
| Sasha chapter 1 . 22h
Okay, I just read your story... and I have to greatly disagree with two of the negative reviews given below. At least go past the first few chapters! There are lots of ways of storytelling and not everything has to be said in the very first chapter! Some things work better as a build up... and oh boy does she do a good job of the reveals. I had my heart beating like a hammer when Sakura/Hermione first come across magic. Yes, I did spoil it... but I mean, read a bit and wait for the reveal yea? Harry potter cross-over... you're guaranteed some kind of magic, no duh.
I don't mean to attack the reviewers... but at least be patient and read. If you think it doesn't grab you right away then move on. You'll most likely come back to this bloody awesome fic.
I'm not going to enter the military Hermione argument, because some other reviewer addressed it... She's been through war, prolonged war even AFTER voldemort died... things you would have found out if you had read a fair bit. Give it a chance guys, its amazing!
Im doing blatant promotion of this story... but I just finished reading this story and I am totally and utterly in love with it. I wonder if there is something as similar as this out there? Gotta love Hermione all around.
| twinbuster2 chapter 10 . 7/26
I just noticed the review left by lightning bandit, and I was horrified. I have nothing against said reviewer as everyone is entitled to their own opinion and said reviewer at least was inclined to leave a review BUT THAT REVIEWER COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG ABOUT YOUR STORY! Excuse the caps please, but I felt nothing else could convey my sentiments more. Your story has a mature outlook that builds slowly but with suspense. You kept me at the edge of my seat guessing at what was going to happen next.
It's easy to see that this Hermione is a survivor of a war that continued even after the opposing leader died. You even highlighted these happenings in flashbacks.
Admittedly I'm curious as to what happened the day Hermione arrived and I can't wait for the reveal.
I have absolutely loved your story plot and the real relationship of the 'trio' even more than the original naruto team mechanics. I hope you continue and I really can't wait until you update. I want to see if Itachi makes it into the picture.
this is my third reason through, so under the risk of repeating myself please update soon
| Guest chapter 30 . 7/22
You're not paying attention to the two idiots below me, right? Who reviews a longfic after one/a handful of chapters? and I don't get why certain reviewers feel the need to say that they're not going to continue reading bc the story wasn't what theeeey wanted. These are the ppl who should read those reviewer etiquette posts floating around reddit and tumblr.
Got here from reddit, they recommended this story as one of the best nto/hp stories. No regrets, read the whole thing in one go :) :) :)
| Brandstone chapter 6 . 7/22
I have to agree with pretty much everything the reviewer The Lightning Bandit said.
This story has so much potential, but you ignored all the things about it that could be interesting.(See The Lightning Bandit's review, to lazy to type all of what he said when I agree with it.)
So far the story is just kinda boring. I don't think I will continue to read, it is making me doze off.
Good luck in the future.
| Guest chapter 30 . 7/20
I wish you'd do a chapter with Jiraiya's pov or maybe tsunade or Kakashi again :)
| The Lightning Bandit chapter 1 . 7/20
This is such a interesting concept but I am really disappointed with how you chose to execute this. You just drop us into Hermione being Sakura years after many of the interesting things have happened. Sakura's life is currently boring and uninteresting. (And Sakura's life will stay that way until at least the first C-Rank mission. With the possible exception of the bell test..)
You skipped over the incredibly interesting question of 'why does Hermione choose to become a shinobi?' Canon Hermione would abhor becoming a trained assassin in a military dictatorship. Yet this one has nothing to say on the issue except that she's taking training very seriously. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Hermione couldn't under any circumstances become a shinobi. I think she could, especially if she realized that Shinobi are the only ones who learn how to use chakra (basically magic) and therefor the shinobi arts might be her only ticket home. But what thought process made her choose this difficult dangerous path?
When did Hermione leave her world? How did she leave it? How old was she? Does she want to go back? Can Hermione still do magic? All of these things are completely absent from this first chapter. Instead we get some boring conversation with kids. We know that an adult sees children arguing as dumb. Nobody finds that interesting or surprising. If Hermione remembers her past life of course she wouldn't be bothered by some children.
The concept for this is so cool. But the execution is very dull. Stories should focus on character development and the unusual parts of the protagonists life. That's my opinion. This story so far falls far short of it's potential. I might keep reading. I'm really not sure.
I hope you don't take this review as mean-spirited. I don't mean it that way. You have written a lot, and I'm sure you put a lot of effort and time into this hobby. I don't want to be rude. I just typed what I honestly think.
| Bob Schwartz chapter 5 . 7/18
Good fic, I like it so far!
| docfrodo2 chapter 1 . 7/11
| randompizza7 chapter 30 . 7/11
This is a very well written story. Keep up the good work.
| Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 6 . 7/10
Saske with cucumber and that context made ma laugh more than it should. But it still felt good.
| EmiliaKyuchi chapter 30 . 7/10
Nice work on the chapter!
| chicaalterego chapter 23 . 7/10
Love this match. Shikamaru is a very cool character :)
| So1Thought chapter 30 . 7/10
OH DAMN. THIS IS ADORABLE AND LOVELY AND ALL OTHER ADJECTIVES THAT DESCRIBE AMAZING.
I love your take of how Hermione's is adapting to the shinobi world. And I can't wait to see how you unfold the Sakura remnant plot.
*rubs hands in anticipation*
Read all 30 chapters in one sitting. You have an excellent grasp on pacing. 3
| masculineangel chapter 30 . 7/9
Alright. Some constructive criticism:
What the hell was this?
I mean, actually! What the hell was this? I mean, damn!
Who in the living hell mashes together The Brave Little Toaster and The Legend of Korra? It's just a flagrant, irresponsible abuse of the first amendment. I feel nearly certain the founding fathers, who were pretty much all sketchy Freemasons, would derive negligible enjoyment from reading this. While it may be more attributed to mass confusion as to what a toaster is and what "bending" is, their lack of gratification after reading this story definitely is in direct response to your abysmal writing skills. Do you even proof read anything your chubby fingers smack into the little white text box from that cheeto-encrusted, twelve-year-old keyboard? Take some damn responsibility for your brazen lack of care or respect toward your readers, buckle up your damn pants, put on some deodorant, and do better!
I'm tired of the crap you put out for us to read! Alright, I've followed you since 2008, and I feel entitled to better fan fiction crossovers, dammit. I would have forgiven placing something as sacred as The Brave Little Toaster with something worthwhile, like the Peanuts or Stuart Little, or even The Land Before Time, but the insidiously atrocious Legend of Korra? Screw that. It was bad enough, but after eight years of writing mediocre fan fiction, you would think you would finally be able to understand and apply the differences between the words "is," "are," and "am." Think of the children you masochistic, probably misogynistic, freak!
The story itself was unacceptable. The Brave Little Toaster is no warrior where he is from, so it's not fair for him to be placed in a fight to the literal death with the main villain cop out of Season Two of The Legend of Korra. Why are you still writing about season two anyway? Didn't season four end in, like, 2014? What the hell? Not only did you take an absolutely abhorrent show, you took the absolute worst part of it. Like, how on Zeus's good Gaia did you expect to write a worthwhile story surrounding a battle between the Brave Little Toaster and fucking Unalaq? You can't. I mean you specifically. I'm sure someone out there could do the Brave Little Toaster justice. Also, you only took Toaster over from his universe?! Why didn't you bring the others? Compared to Kirby the vacuum cleaner and Lampy the lamp, the Toaster is only an "OK" character. I mean, damn, mate! Try to adulterate a beloved childhood series further, why don't you, you piece of apricot colored tortoise dung! I suppose I should applaud you for not including any aspect of the sequel movies, though. Those things are like shoe bombs in a porta potty. Almost as bad as The Shining. Damn... That took me back.
Anyway, I give this sorry excuse for a story a 1.3 out of 10. It had very little promise to begin with and you way, way, way under delivered. Good fucking job, you ten gallon hat of a Jamaican brontosaurus. Spike would be ashamed of your sorry display. So would Stalin, probably. Damn.
| Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 1 . 7/9
Is it bad that due to your description, now I imagine Sakura's mother as more Asian looking Zarya from Overwatch?