|Reviews for Effloresco Secundus|
| Guest chapter 30 . 7/22/2016
You're not paying attention to the two idiots below me, right? Who reviews a longfic after one/a handful of chapters? and I don't get why certain reviewers feel the need to say that they're not going to continue reading bc the story wasn't what theeeey wanted. These are the ppl who should read those reviewer etiquette posts floating around reddit and tumblr.
Got here from reddit, they recommended this story as one of the best nto/hp stories. No regrets, read the whole thing in one go :) :) :)
| Brandstone chapter 6 . 7/22/2016
I have to agree with pretty much everything the reviewer The Lightning Bandit said.
This story has so much potential, but you ignored all the things about it that could be interesting.(See The Lightning Bandit's review, to lazy to type all of what he said when I agree with it.)
So far the story is just kinda boring. I don't think I will continue to read, it is making me doze off.
Good luck in the future.
| Guest chapter 30 . 7/20/2016
I wish you'd do a chapter with Jiraiya's pov or maybe tsunade or Kakashi again :)
| The Lightning Bandit chapter 1 . 7/20/2016
This is such a interesting concept but I am really disappointed with how you chose to execute this. You just drop us into Hermione being Sakura years after many of the interesting things have happened. Sakura's life is currently boring and uninteresting. (And Sakura's life will stay that way until at least the first C-Rank mission. With the possible exception of the bell test..)
You skipped over the incredibly interesting question of 'why does Hermione choose to become a shinobi?' Canon Hermione would abhor becoming a trained assassin in a military dictatorship. Yet this one has nothing to say on the issue except that she's taking training very seriously. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Hermione couldn't under any circumstances become a shinobi. I think she could, especially if she realized that Shinobi are the only ones who learn how to use chakra (basically magic) and therefor the shinobi arts might be her only ticket home. But what thought process made her choose this difficult dangerous path?
When did Hermione leave her world? How did she leave it? How old was she? Does she want to go back? Can Hermione still do magic? All of these things are completely absent from this first chapter. Instead we get some boring conversation with kids. We know that an adult sees children arguing as dumb. Nobody finds that interesting or surprising. If Hermione remembers her past life of course she wouldn't be bothered by some children.
The concept for this is so cool. But the execution is very dull. Stories should focus on character development and the unusual parts of the protagonists life. That's my opinion. This story so far falls far short of it's potential. I might keep reading. I'm really not sure.
I hope you don't take this review as mean-spirited. I don't mean it that way. You have written a lot, and I'm sure you put a lot of effort and time into this hobby. I don't want to be rude. I just typed what I honestly think.
| Bob Schwartz chapter 5 . 7/18/2016
Good fic, I like it so far!
| docfrodo2 chapter 1 . 7/11/2016
| randompizza7 chapter 30 . 7/11/2016
This is a very well written story. Keep up the good work.
| Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 6 . 7/10/2016
Saske with cucumber and that context made ma laugh more than it should. But it still felt good.
| EmiliaKyuchi chapter 30 . 7/10/2016
Nice work on the chapter!
| chicaalterego chapter 23 . 7/10/2016
Love this match. Shikamaru is a very cool character :)
| So1Thought chapter 30 . 7/10/2016
OH DAMN. THIS IS ADORABLE AND LOVELY AND ALL OTHER ADJECTIVES THAT DESCRIBE AMAZING.
I love your take of how Hermione's is adapting to the shinobi world. And I can't wait to see how you unfold the Sakura remnant plot.
*rubs hands in anticipation*
Read all 30 chapters in one sitting. You have an excellent grasp on pacing. 3
| masculineangel chapter 30 . 7/9/2016
Alright. Some constructive criticism:
What the hell was this?
I mean, actually! What the hell was this? I mean, damn!
Who in the living hell mashes together The Brave Little Toaster and The Legend of Korra? It's just a flagrant, irresponsible abuse of the first amendment. I feel nearly certain the founding fathers, who were pretty much all sketchy Freemasons, would derive negligible enjoyment from reading this. While it may be more attributed to mass confusion as to what a toaster is and what "bending" is, their lack of gratification after reading this story definitely is in direct response to your abysmal writing skills. Do you even proof read anything your chubby fingers smack into the little white text box from that cheeto-encrusted, twelve-year-old keyboard? Take some damn responsibility for your brazen lack of care or respect toward your readers, buckle up your damn pants, put on some deodorant, and do better!
I'm tired of the crap you put out for us to read! Alright, I've followed you since 2008, and I feel entitled to better fan fiction crossovers, dammit. I would have forgiven placing something as sacred as The Brave Little Toaster with something worthwhile, like the Peanuts or Stuart Little, or even The Land Before Time, but the insidiously atrocious Legend of Korra? Screw that. It was bad enough, but after eight years of writing mediocre fan fiction, you would think you would finally be able to understand and apply the differences between the words "is," "are," and "am." Think of the children you masochistic, probably misogynistic, freak!
The story itself was unacceptable. The Brave Little Toaster is no warrior where he is from, so it's not fair for him to be placed in a fight to the literal death with the main villain cop out of Season Two of The Legend of Korra. Why are you still writing about season two anyway? Didn't season four end in, like, 2014? What the hell? Not only did you take an absolutely abhorrent show, you took the absolute worst part of it. Like, how on Zeus's good Gaia did you expect to write a worthwhile story surrounding a battle between the Brave Little Toaster and fucking Unalaq? You can't. I mean you specifically. I'm sure someone out there could do the Brave Little Toaster justice. Also, you only took Toaster over from his universe?! Why didn't you bring the others? Compared to Kirby the vacuum cleaner and Lampy the lamp, the Toaster is only an "OK" character. I mean, damn, mate! Try to adulterate a beloved childhood series further, why don't you, you piece of apricot colored tortoise dung! I suppose I should applaud you for not including any aspect of the sequel movies, though. Those things are like shoe bombs in a porta potty. Almost as bad as The Shining. Damn... That took me back.
Anyway, I give this sorry excuse for a story a 1.3 out of 10. It had very little promise to begin with and you way, way, way under delivered. Good fucking job, you ten gallon hat of a Jamaican brontosaurus. Spike would be ashamed of your sorry display. So would Stalin, probably. Damn.
| Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 1 . 7/9/2016
Is it bad that due to your description, now I imagine Sakura's mother as more Asian looking Zarya from Overwatch?
| Fukatsuki chapter 22 . 7/9/2016
lol i dont like very much this chapter. it's just in my opinion Naruto must training under Jiraiya you know? it's just irritating and strange for me that Naruto refuse Jiraiya for being his teacher. but the rest story is amazing, keep working.
| Griseo chapter 29 . 7/7/2016
As much as I absolutely hated what I read in the past few chapters, I can't say that it's not really good and all. Favorite.